child abuse...do/can I do anything legally?

[MichaCA]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I just got home and greet daughter after she' been at dads 2 days. They got in a big fight this morning...big knot on her head, her side is hurt where he hit her. She told her teacher, teacher and principal called cps.

Doctors office is closed so I am taking her to emergency room. The on-call doctor told me to also call police and call cps myself.

Is there something I should be doing Monday morning (file a emergency motion for temp custody) or do I leave it alone until CPS caseworker talks to me?

Thanks in advance...off to the hospital.

 

[CJane]

I would go to the Sheriff's department tonight and file a restraining order against Dad on behalf of daughter. Or ask at the hospital if they can help you file one from there -- many hospitals offer domestic violence services that can assist with things like that.

And then yes, the minute the court house opens on Monday, file for a suspension of visitation and get in touch with the prosecutor.

 

[MichaCA]

Thanks CJane,

I took her to the hospital. When the doctor came she almost foo-fooed the knot on her head, and wrote in her report "no visible injuries". When the sheriff came in, and mentioned no injuries, I stated she does have a physical injury. She said well, the doctor said no VISIBLE injuries which means you can't see it. (you can't but you can feel it...its a lump behind her ear). My daughter also noted that he HIT her in her side...but there were no marks there.

The sheriff went to call the dad to "hear his side of the story"...but apparently he didn't answer either phone. They said they were going to turn it over to CPS and the local prosecutor. They said they have no idea if he will want to prosecute or not.

I mentioned to the sheriff (perhaps wrong, she kept asking me what I wanted)that I may go to the court house Mon am to file an exparte. She advised against it. Said she didn't feel the level of the injuries rose to an emergency situation? I have to say...I feel a bit bitter about that part of the process...it seemed callous, but I have seen VERY strange attitudes with the local CPS, and now this sheriff. Fortunately, the guy who interviewed her, and her dad, the last time he abused her...said he was retiring in one year....so he is gone.

My daughter is OK - I guess. She doesn't hurt. After he shoved her in the throat till she fell back on the floor (and hit her head on a chair on the way) - she said she hurt for awhile and then at school she had a headache, but that went away by the time I saw her. The worst is she says "I'm used to it now...it doesn't really bother me".

Thanks for your time.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks CJane,

I took her to the hospital. When the doctor came she almost foo-fooed the knot on her head, and wrote in her report "no visible injuries". When the sheriff came in, and mentioned no injuries, I stated she does have a physical injury. She said well, the doctor said no VISIBLE injuries which means you can't see it. (you can't but you can feel it...its a lump behind her ear). My daughter also noted that he HIT her in her side...but there were no marks there.

The sheriff went to call the dad to "hear his side of the story"...but apparently he didn't answer either phone. They said they were going to turn it over to CPS and the local prosecutor. They said they have no idea if he will want to prosecute or not.

I mentioned to the sheriff (perhaps wrong, she kept asking me what I wanted)that I may go to the court house Mon am to file an exparte. She advised against it. Said she didn't feel the level of the injuries rose to an emergency situation? I have to say...I feel a bit bitter about that part of the process...it seemed callous, but I have seen VERY strange attitudes with the local CPS, and now this sheriff. Fortunately, the guy who interviewed her, and her dad, the last time he abused her...said he was retiring in one year....so he is gone.

My daughter is OK - I guess. She doesn't hurt. After he shoved her in the throat till she fell back on the floor (and hit her head on a chair on the way) - she said she hurt for awhile and then at school she had a headache, but that went away by the time I saw her. The worst is she says "I'm used to it now...it doesn't really bother me".
Thanks for your time.

The bolded just makes me want to cry.

It also infuriates me that the emergency room doctor did not document the knot on her head.

Is your child in counseling?

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks CJane,

I took her to the hospital. When the doctor came she almost foo-fooed the knot on her head, and wrote in her report "no visible injuries". When the sheriff came in, and mentioned no injuries, I stated she does have a physical injury. She said well, the doctor said no VISIBLE injuries which means you can't see it. (you can't but you can feel it...its a lump behind her ear). My daughter also noted that he HIT her in her side...but there were no marks there.

That's what the doctor SAID, but did the doctor actually document the lump?

If not, I would ask for another doctor - or drive to a different emergency room (or an urgent care facility which are all over the place in some cities). Doctors are mandated reporters and shouldn't be ignoring something like that.

 

[gr8rn]

For some reason that ER doctor did not do her job. When there is a palpable lump, along with complaints of a headache, a CT of the head is usually ordered. That is routine. I would suggest another ER visit for that very reason.

 

[LdiJ]

For some reason that ER doctor did not do her job. When there is a palpable lump, along with complaints of a headache, a CT of the head is usually ordered. That is routine. I would suggest another ER visit for that very reason.

That is an excellent point. I agree. Perhaps at another hospital.

 

[neopandora]

The sheriff went to call the dad to "hear his side of the story"...but apparently he didn't answer either phone. They said they were going to turn it over to CPS and the local prosecutor. They said they have no idea if he will want to prosecute or not.
I mentioned to the sheriff (perhaps wrong, she kept asking me what I wanted)that I may go to the court house Mon am to file an exparte. She advised against it. Said she didn't feel the level of the injuries rose to an emergency situation? I have to say...I feel a bit bitter about that part of the process...it seemed callous, but I have seen VERY strange attitudes with the local CPS, and now this sheriff. Fortunately, the guy who interviewed her, and her dad, the last time he abused her...said he was retiring in one year....so he is gone.

As others have said, I would go to another ER and/or another doctor for the head injury and possibly even the pain in her side. Females can suffer injuries from punches to the side as well. I would have your doctor on Monday perform a full exam of ALL complaints. Seems to me that ER doctors deal more with the matter at hand and don't always fully examine. I've went to ER on several occasions and lots was missed when I went to my regular doctor for follow up (which is usually suggested in the discharge papers.

As re the bolded- in my experience you need to be VERY clear with what you want when dealing with officers. After you have explained the situation, they will often ask you what you want. Be very clear and decisive. Example, my ex tried to grab my head/face and threatened me in the middle of the Courthouse with a no contact Order of Protection and a seperate Restraining Order. No doubt that it happened as an officer was present. They took my statement, mentioned calling him and then asked me what I wanted. If hubby hadn't been with me, I would have been so confused by asking me what I wanted because I always thought they just did what officers do. I told them I wanted to press charges and without skipping a beat that's what they did without any reservation and suggested they were glad I was. I think maybe they don't want to always press charges after an event if they think you will recant or back off the story so they ask what you want. Be very clear and direct with the officers in what you want.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

As others have said, I would go to another ER and/or another doctor for the head injury and possibly even the pain in her side. Females can suffer injuries from punches to the side as well. I would have your doctor on Monday perform a full exam of ALL complaints. Seems to me that ER doctors deal more with the matter at hand and don't always fully examine. I've went to ER on several occasions and lots was missed when I went to my regular doctor for follow up (which is usually suggested in the discharge papers.

As re the bolded- in my experience you need to be VERY clear with what you want when dealing with officers. After you have explained the situation, they will often ask you what you want. Be very clear and decisive. Example, my ex tried to grab my head/face and threatened me in the middle of the Courthouse with a no contact Order of Protection and a seperate Restraining Order. No doubt that it happened as an officer was present. They took my statement, mentioned calling him and then asked me what I wanted. If hubby hadn't been with me, I would have been so confused by asking me what I wanted because I always thought they just did what officers do. I told them I wanted to press charges and without skipping a beat that's what they did without any reservation and suggested they were glad I was. I think maybe they don't want to always press charges after an event if they think you will recant or back off the story so they ask what you want. Be very clear and direct with the officers in what you want.

Monday is too long to wait for secondary observation, IMO. Were I OP, I'd go to either another ER or an emergency on-call today and get everything documented. Symptoms could dissipate by Monday, and it is important that this each injury is documented to full effect for the court to understand what this father did to his child.

Aside from that, OP, I am so sorry for your daughter.

 

[MichaCA]

Thanks folks. I only have a few minutes before I wake her up so will be brief.

I did take her back the same ER on Saturday...diff doctors. She was acting strangely for about one hour, and a different place on her head hurt. It was all a bit vague...and the knot on her head was almost gone. It still hurts...but now I know why they said "no visible injury". For a officer to be able to arrest someone for physical abuse...there has to be sign of visible injury and/or the officer must have witnessed it firsthand. (Thats what our county handout says).

There were no marks left on her side. The initial doctor did seem to do a quite thorough exam.

So I have a case here, again, of no marks, a knot left on her head last Friday and Saturday.

Now I am not sure...I know to go to the courthouse...file for a restraining order for daughter from father, and file a exparte motion to suspend his visitation. Then later when it all gets heard I know the most I can expect is to request a court order that he have counseling. Should I ask that he pay for counseling for daughter too? Cause she needs it. Its either medi-cal counseling through me or perhaps a better one private pay.

I'd like to ask his visitation be limited but I've seen it on her a kazillion times...if the dad is abusive why will less time work? I understand because no judge here will order no visitation, or even less visitation based on a knot that has iffy documentation.

OK...so restraining order, exparte suspend visitation, and request only supervised visits later, plus counseling for dad and separate counseling for daughter.

 

[mistoffolees]

You can't ask the Dad go to counseling. He's an adult. You CAN ask that he not be allowed to see the child until he demonstrates that his anger issues are resolved - and ask for supervised visitation if and when he ever gets the restraining order lifted.

You can ask for him to pay for daughter's counseling, but I'm not sure what the chances are that you'll get it.

 

[stealth2]

I would work on getting her counseling through MediCal. It is better than nothing, and that may also provide some sort of proof that there is abuse occurring. I would NOT wait until a court decides whether to order him to pay or not.

 

[acmb05]

I did take her back the same ER on Saturday...diff doctors. She was acting strangely for about one hour, and a different place on her head hurt. It was all a bit vague...and the knot on her head was almost gone. It still hurts...but now I know why they said "no visible injury". For a officer to be able to arrest someone for physical abuse...there has to be sign of visible injury and/or the officer must have witnessed it firsthand. (Thats what our county handout says).

There were no marks left on her side. The initial doctor did seem to do a quite thorough exam.

It would seem to me that a lump on her head would be a "sign of visible injury"

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks folks. I only have a few minutes before I wake her up so will be brief.

I did take her back the same ER on Saturday...diff doctors. She was acting strangely for about one hour, and a different place on her head hurt. It was all a bit vague...and the knot on her head was almost gone. It still hurts...but now I know why they said "no visible injury". For a officer to be able to arrest someone for physical abuse...there has to be sign of visible injury and/or the officer must have witnessed it firsthand. (Thats what our county handout says).

There were no marks left on her side. The initial doctor did seem to do a quite thorough exam.

So I have a case here, again, of no marks, a knot left on her head last Friday and Saturday.

Now I am not sure...I know to go to the courthouse...file for a restraining order for daughter from father, and file a exparte motion to suspend his visitation. Then later when it all gets heard I know the most I can expect is to request a court order that he have counseling. Should I ask that he pay for counseling for daughter too? Cause she needs it. Its either medi-cal counseling through me or perhaps a better one private pay.

I'd like to ask his visitation be limited but I've seen it on her a kazillion times...if the dad is abusive why will less time work? I understand because no judge here will order no visitation, or even less visitation based on a knot that has iffy documentation.

OK...so restraining order, exparte suspend visitation, and request only supervised visits later, plus counseling for dad and separate counseling for daughter.

You could also get a GAL involved. Despite the lack of documentation a GAL can talk to the child and get a picture of what is going on.

I am sincerely worried for your child. I am sincerely worried for her safety but what worries me even more is the fact that she says "I am used to it now, it really doesn't bother me". I really do think that she needs to be in counseling, because she needs to understand that this is NOT ok. You don't want her growing up to believe that its normal for men to beat women or children. She won't make good choices in life.

 

[MichaCA]

Thanks...I'm going to pursue the counseling thing today.

After filing for restraining order, do I also file an exparte for suspending visitation? I'm going over this morning after dropping daughter off at school...Thanks.

LdiJ, I am very worried too. This has gone on for years. She's been failed also by the last counselor she saw (for years) as well as the last cps caseworker. She is just now ready to face counseling again. Her dad got it stipulated in court order that for counseling we have to take her in on our time, EOW. The only day that works is Wednesday and Friday (when a good therapist is booked up). I think I'm going to request that restriction be lifted...and just get her started.

acmb05 - I agree I am appalled that a lump on one's head is not considered major evidence of harm. Just appalled. The only thing on my side is to speak up about that and keep reinforcing my child was physically injured, and marks were left.

Will check back in later.