Child Support Mod From zero to some. Chances?

[ceara19]

I have another question...when he was paying me child support it was almost exactly half the amount the state guidelines are for. He told me he will start paying the amount he paid before if I would agree to it, I contacted the Child Support office and they said I CANNOT deviate from the guidelines, and that the courts will not accept a lower amount, but I could waive arrears from filing date (November) I called my ex and told him this and offered to waive the arrears they are asking for if he signs the modification, he turned me down and told me if I can't get the monthly amount lowered he will take his chances in court.

My real question is, why can I waive the arrears, but not ask for a lower amount?

After the way he has never followed through on his past promises, why would you want to waive any child support that he should be legally obligated to pay? If YOU want to deviate from the guidelines, you will most likely need to handle the matter WITHOUT child support services. Their job is to protect the best interests of the child. That is why they don't deviate from the state guidelines. If you want to "refund" part of the child support each month, there is nothing stopping you from sending him a check.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

After the way he has never followed through on his past promises, why would you want to waive any child support that he should be legally obligated to pay? If YOU want to deviate from the guidelines, you will most likely need to handle the matter WITHOUT child support services. Their job is to protect the best interests of the child. That is why they don't deviate from the state guidelines. If you want to "refund" part of the child support each month, there is nothing stopping you from sending him a check.

I'm not saying for sure that I want to deviate from the monthly guidelines, just wanted to know why I couldn't. I was willing to waive the back child support from November because I wanted to start things on a clean slate, and I thought that was fair (Not sure why, He has never been fair) The thing is, I am not out to get him, never have been. We don't get along well, and filing this modification didn't make things better by ANY means, but I still think he SHOULD have to pay some child support for our children. He thinks He shouldn't, like I said, he would rather take his chances in court because he truly believes he will win and not have to ever pay child support.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Not that any of this really matters but he does make decent money and isn't just barely getting by ( He is an Electrician), his parents built/and paid for a brand new house for him, and his parents purchased a new truck for him so he doesn't even have these normally necessary monthly payments to make . Even without having to pay for any of these items he TRULY does not think he should be ordered to pay child support, he has the children two weekends per month, alternating holidays, and two weeks of each summer month and his response is that he takes care of them 100%while they are at his house, I should take care of them 100% at my house. It would be one thing if he purchased clothes, or shoes, or anything for them to bring home but he doesn't even do that.

 

[GrowUp!]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I truly appreciate your post, That is all I was hoping for. I truly didn't expect to be bashed about topics that weren't even the point.

So you were on here looking for advice YOU wanted to hear. Gee...like that hasn't happened here...today!
Nobody was bashing you -- you were being asked very SERIOUS questions -- including by Seniorjudge -- who certainly knows more than never-will-be-a-lawyer-LdiJ does. This site isn't an emotional support group and dealing with support issues, especially given the fact that you and the ex agreed to NO support, then you are filing for a mod within 2 years when there is really no significant change in circumstance (and you moving along with the ex allegedly bailing out of an alleged verbal agreement does not constitute a significant change in circumstance). If you thought people were bashing you, you're in for a big surprise when you're in front of a Judge. Because a Judge will ask you just as stern questions.

What his parents do/do not do for him is irrelevant and has absolutely no bearing. Parents have the right to give their child whatever they want. And your ex is seriously misguided thinking he doesn't have to financially support his children. You're just being told -- nobody here can tell you exactly what to expect -- including LdiJ -- just be prepared for it to go either way.

 

[GrowUp!]

I have another question...when he was paying me child support it was almost exactly half the amount the state guidelines are for. He told me he will start paying the amount he paid before if I would agree to it, I contacted the Child Support office and they said I CANNOT deviate from the guidelines, and that the courts will not accept a lower amount, but I could waive arrears from filing date (November) I called my ex and told him this and offered to waive the arrears they are asking for if he signs the modification, he turned me down and told me if I can't get the monthly amount lowered he will take his chances in court.

My real question is, why can I waive the arrears, but not ask for a lower amount?

Wait a minute...you said you both agreed to NO support in the court order? Now you're talking about arrears. So, either there was an order or there wasn't. Your "verbal agreement" does not count. I don't know why you continue to focus on an alleged agreement that was NOT LEGALLY BINDING!!! You're going to be in for more rude awakenings if you continue to do business with verbal agreements, like home improvements, car repairs and the such. So, if I am understanding you correctly...if you think you can get any kind of "back support" during the period of time you agreed to zero support, you're wrong.

Plus, CSEA's are bound by administrative law and are not allowed to deviate from the guidelines...taht would have to be taken to court.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Wait a minute...you said you both agreed to NO support in the court order? Now you're talking about arrears. So, either there was an order or there wasn't. Your "verbal agreement" does not count. I don't know why you continue to focus on an alleged agreement that was NOT LEGALLY BINDING!!! You're going to be in for more rude awakenings if you continue to do business with verbal agreements, like home improvements, car repairs and the such. So, if I am understanding you correctly...if you think you can get any kind of "back support" during the period of time you agreed to zero support, you're wrong.

Plus, CSEA's are bound by administrative law and are not allowed to deviate from the guidelines...taht would have to be taken to court.

It was a zero child support order, ORIGINALLY filed in 2002. I was modified in 2005 to change the custody portion of it. We had 50/50 custody, and 50/50 visitation in writing, but they lived with me full time (For years) so it was changed but the child support portion on if was not re-visited. I understand that the verbal agreement in not legally binding, and no, I don't normally do things verbally. As I said, the back child support begins only in NOVEMBER because that is when they filed the modification, so when we go to court in March, If I am awarded child support the Child support office said that he will automatically owe arrears beginning in November

 

[Raisingmaddy]

So you were on here looking for advice YOU wanted to hear. Gee...like that hasn't happened here...today!
Nobody was bashing you -- you were being asked very SERIOUS questions -- including by Seniorjudge -- who certainly knows more than never-will-be-a-lawyer-LdiJ does. This site isn't an emotional support group and dealing with support issues, especially given the fact that you and the ex agreed to NO support, then you are filing for a mod within 2 years when there is really no significant change in circumstance (and you moving along with the ex allegedly bailing out of an alleged verbal agreement does not constitute a significant change in circumstance). If you thought people were bashing you, you're in for a big surprise when you're in front of a Judge. Because a Judge will ask you just as stern questions.

What his parents do/do not do for him is irrelevant and has absolutely no bearing. Parents have the right to give their child whatever they want. And your ex is seriously misguided thinking he doesn't have to financially support his children. You're just being told -- nobody here can tell you exactly what to expect -- including LdiJ -- just be prepared for it to go either way.

I wasn't just looking for advice I WANTED to hear, I was appreciating the fact that someone was friendly in their post, regardless of what the opinion was. There are a lot of serious questions, I understand that, but a lot of it WAS unneccessary. I respect very much what Seniorjudge was asking/and answering. Apparently the Child Support office DOES BELIEVE their was a significant change in circumstances, and that it is winnable. They told me if it wasn't, they wouldn't have filed a modification, Not a guarantee of course, but they seem to know what they are doing.

 

[jbowman]

So, lesson learned. Going forward, no matter how much he tries to promise and/or sweet talk you, do not have verbal agreements regarding anything. This was a lesson I had to learn also. It just never works out.

and jeesh Growup, take it down a notch...

 

[Raisingmaddy]

So, lesson learned. Going forward, no matter how much he tries to promise and/or sweet talk you, do not have verbal agreements regarding anything. This was a lesson I had to learn also. It just never works out.

and jeesh Growup, take it down a notch...

Lesson DEFINITELY learned I won't make the same mistake twice. And I agree, it was a very hard lesson learned and I may have to pay the consequences and not get court ordered child support, anything is possible. Thank you for the response

 

[fairisfair]

I have another question...when he was paying me child support it was almost exactly half the amount the state guidelines are for. He told me he will start paying the amount he paid before if I would agree to it, I contacted the Child Support office and they said I CANNOT deviate from the guidelines, and that the courts will not accept a lower amount, but I could waive arrears from filing date (November) I called my ex and told him this and offered to waive the arrears they are asking for if he signs the modification, he turned me down and told me if I can't get the monthly amount lowered he will take his chances in court.

My real question is, why can I waive the arrears, but not ask for a lower amount?

Many CP's waive arrears, for whatever personal reason they might have. Why you would even consider that, continues to be beyond me.

So now you are saying that the same court that once allowed a zero support award, will not agree to a lesser award, but only one that meets the state guidelines? See why that just doesn't make sense?? How is CSE involved in your case anyway?

 

[fairisfair]

So, lesson learned. Going forward, no matter how much he tries to promise and/or sweet talk you, do not have verbal agreements regarding anything. This was a lesson I had to learn also. It just never works out.

and jeesh Growup, take it down a notch...

J, the poster IS dancing around the questions. I really can't blame Growup for being frustrated.

 

[jbowman]

I wasnt basing my comment on this post alone, Fair. I've been gone for awhile and came back with fresh eyes. They are now bleeding from the blasting almost everyone gets.

 

[fairisfair]

I wasnt basing my comment on this post alone, Fair. I've been gone for awhile and came back with fresh eyes. They are now bleeding from the blasting almost everyone gets.

Yeah, well we all know that the courtroom ain't any friendlier. Baptism by fire. The way it has always been. You know that

Close your eyes J, we don't want YOU to get hurt

 

[jbowman]

I know youre right!!! Unfortunately, I will probably get blasted myself for the comment. And baptism by fire is definitely accurate--honestly, when I came here, I got it and HALLELUJAH, it did help. That being said, sometimes its just a little much and a lot obnoxious.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Many CP's waive arrears, for whatever personal reason they might have. Why you would even consider that, continues to be beyond me.

So now you are saying that the same court that once allowed a zero support award, will not agree to a lesser award, but only one that meets the state guidelines? See why that just doesn't make sense?? How is CSE involved in your case anyway?

I guess my reason to consider it is just that I don't think it would be fair for him to automatically owe thousands of dollars. That would just make things harder for him, and that is not what I am trying to do. All I want is for him to help support our children.

It actually isn't the same court. The original divorce was in Oregon, where the zero child support came from. My ex moved to Washington about 3 years ago, and I just moved to Washington about two years ago. CSE is involved because when my ex stopped paying cs I couldn't afford an attorney to take him to court, too scared to go pro se, so I went to CSE and asked for their help, they changed Jurisdiction/Venue (I think that is what its called) and filed a modification for cs. He does have an attorney, and they did ask that the order be dismissed, we went to a default hearing because he chose not to respond by the deadling (He did however respond the day before court) anyways, we went to court and it was continued until March 2nd for the hearing. He stated in his response that because the $150 he gives me every month is a little more than his half of the childcare he is OVERPAYING me for support of our three children the way he see's it.