Child Support Question

[stephgts]

You are a teen parent, arent you? Im not being rude or sarcastic, I am just getting the impression from your posts that you are probably 15-17 years old.

Listen to what you have read here without getting too defensive. The reaction you are getting is because people are APPALLED at your choices.

Bottom line is that 1) NO, you do not have to spend alot of money on court costs, 2) if you want to do what is best for your child, get paternity established, 3) go to court and get a child support order now.

No, I'm not a teen parent. I can understand being appalled by my choices because I'm not educated in these areas. I can not understand, however, the rudeness. I am not educated in these areas because I never planned on having children, was in fact told that it would be seriously difficult to conceive. Admittedly I've made assumptions about court costs. If it really doesn't cost an arm and a leg, then sure I'll go do it. I was under the impression that going to court would cost more then covering the CS that is needed currently by other means. My father also had the same impression and will be glad to hear that we were wrong. I had also gone to the Florida CS Calculator online and based on his income and my lack of income, the amount of money it said I would get in CS was what I considered to be WAY to high. I don't need that much a month from him so I figured I'd stick to the verbal agreement (even though verbal agreements mean squat).

SO, since you seem to be a reasonable non-bashing person I'll ask you, what exactly do I need to do to go about getting CS? Do I need a lawyer? Can I represent myself? Would I even need someone to represent me? How much, at the end, would it all cost approx. if you know the answer? If I request DNA testing, how much does that cost? If I get a CO for visitation for the father, do I need a lawyer? What are the estimated costs? What is the cheapest way I can go about getting this all done? Also, is there anything else you can think of that I might need to know about before hand? Thanks

 

[stephgts]

First, I had my daughter is an accredited daycare, and NEVER had to make a change. The socialization, sharing and turntaking skills, exposure to diversity, were all POSITIVE influences in her development!

I suspect that mom is reticent to have anything legal established because SHE wants to call all the shots with dad's access and dosen't want dad to get a CO to have HIS time at HIS place or wherever away from her. She'll be one of those

"my kid is with me or my parents 24/7, she's NEVER with a sitter or away from one of us, isn't that special? so she can't be away from me to spend time over at her dad's, and besides, I"M BREASTFEEDING, "​

kinda moms.

whatever, you don't know me.

 

[nextwife]

whatever, you don't know me.

OK. so how much extended time has dad been allowed AT HIS PLACE with his baby?

 

[tigger22472]

No, I'm not a teen parent.

OMG you just made it worse for yourself.. even I believed you were a teenager. So you are saying you are a GROWN woman not supporting her child and living with her parents and they are supporting both you and your child....That takes the cake.


I can understand being appalled by my choices because I'm not educated in these areas.

And now you ARE educated... get off your butt and get a J-O-B

I can not understand, however, the rudeness.

If you think we are rude... just wait

I am not educated in these areas because I never planned on having children, was in fact told that it would be seriously difficult to conceive.

no excuse not to use protection or now support your child.

Admittedly I've made assumptions about court costs. If it really doesn't cost an arm and a leg, then sure I'll go do it. I was under the impression that going to court would cost more then covering the CS that is needed currently by other means.

My father also had the same impression and will be glad to hear that we were wrong. I had also gone to the Florida CS Calculator online and based on his income and my lack of income, the amount of money it said I would get in CS was what I considered to be WAY to high. I don't need that much a month from him so I figured I'd stick to the verbal agreement (even though verbal agreements mean squat).

Did you impute yourself an income? Considering you are not the teen that we assumed you could be assessed higher than minimum wage, but should start there.. plus you need to put in the amount you can PROVE he makes.

SO, since you seem to be a reasonable non-bashing person I'll ask you, what exactly do I need to do to go about getting CS? Do I need a lawyer? Can I represent myself? Would I even need someone to represent me? How much, at the end, would it all cost approx. if you know the answer? If I request DNA testing, how much does that cost? If I get a CO for visitation for the father, do I need a lawyer? What are the estimated costs? What is the cheapest way I can go about getting this all done? Also, is there anything else you can think of that I might need to know about before hand? Thanks

You have already been told to seek child support through child support services... the first step would be to speak to your local welfare office. The state will represent you, in fact the quickest way is to apply for welfare and that will get the ball rolling. But know YOU will be imputed an income and if dad requests a DNA test then the cost is generally split for that, unless of course he turns out NOT to be the father then oftentimes Mom's solely responsible. He files for the visitation and when granted it's usually standard in your state visitation guidelines...

 

[stephgts]

OK. so how much extended time has dad been allowed AT HIS PLACE with his baby?

When she was first born he was allowed visits here with her and to spend the night here with her whenever he wanted. Then I established a routine and got settled with my daughter. After that (when she was 4wks old) we made a deal that if he stayed at his moms for the first 5 times, he could have her one night a week. I had this stipulation because he never woke up when she was crying when he stayed at my house with her. Having him stay at his moms was my way of letting him take her and also making sure that there was someone there who would wake up. Well he only stayed with her once, after that he started staying at his girlfriends house behind my back. When I found out, I let it go because his gf has a baby too (not his) and I knew she would wake up and wake him if my daughter cried. About 3 weeks ago, I tried to up his visitation with her to 2 overnights a week because I thought he was ready and that my daughter was ready. This is when the fighting between us began, because he apparently didn't really want her that much and that blew my mind. Then is when he started to show his true colors, saying he'd come get her and backing out at the last possible minute. The fighting escalated and became so bad that I decided we needed a schedule. I told him to pick 2 days out of the week that he wanted her, but that he wasn't obligated to take her on those days if he didn't want to. And that if he missed one of his scheduled days with her, he can see her on the next scheduled day. I also told him he could have day visits with her whenever he wanted, providing he gave me enough time in advance to make sure I had enough milk pumped. He has agreed to this. He agreed to all of this HAPPILY. When our daughter is 1 year old, we'll then split the custody and visitation with her 50/50, although I think I'll have her most of the time because he doesn't seem very interested in her. I'm not doing 50/50 custody at the moment, because I've read that it's better for the child to have a stable home environment for the first year and that swapping her back and forth a lot could confuse her.

I've never denied him visitation, and never denied him overnight visitation. I never will unless there's a GOOD reason such as drug abuse or child abuse. I might not like him very much, but I love my baby and she deserves two parents.

 

[stephgts]

You have already been told to seek child support through child support services... the first step would be to speak to your local welfare office. The state will represent you, in fact the quickest way is to apply for welfare and that will get the ball rolling. But know YOU will be imputed an income and if dad requests a DNA test then the cost is generally split for that, unless of course he turns out NOT to be the father then oftentimes Mom's solely responsible. He files for the visitation and when granted it's usually standard in your state visitation guidelines...

Ok, so if I get welfare, do I have to continue using it after CS is set? Also, how much does DNA testing cost?

I did not go into my age becasue I expected a comment like yours. For the majority of my life after HS, I was living in a different city and engaged to be married. My ex fiance did not want me to work after we were married and if we were to have children, ESPECIALLY did not want me to work. I had the option after we were married and I didn't work anymore, to go to school. Well I left him before any of that happened, came back to my home city and then started going to school. I dropped all ideas of having children because, 1) didn't think it would happen anyway, and 2) decided I didn't want a child at that point in my life and wanted to wait until I was done with school. Approx. 9 months later I was pregnant and had a high risk pregnancy so I didn't go to school for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. Now I'm not pregnant anymore and am back in school.

Yep, I'm a fully grown woman. I wish WISH I'd gone to school when my ex fiance and I were together, because I would be better off now. But that's just not how things worked out.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, so if I get welfare, do I have to continue using it after CS is set? Also, how much does DNA testing cost?

I did not go into my age becasue I expected a comment like yours. For the majority of my life after HS, I was living in a different city and engaged to be married. My ex fiance did not want me to work after we were married and if we were to have children, ESPECIALLY did not want me to work. I had the option after we were married and I didn't work anymore, to go to school. Well I left him before any of that happened, came back to my home city and then started going to school. I dropped all ideas of having children because, 1) didn't think it would happen anyway, and 2) decided I didn't want a child at that point in my life and wanted to wait until I was done with school. Approx. 9 months later I was pregnant and had a high risk pregnancy so I didn't go to school for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. Now I'm not pregnant anymore and am back in school.

Yep, I'm a fully grown woman. I wish WISH I'd gone to school when my ex fiance and I were together, because I would be better off now. But that's just not how things worked out.

Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your parents supporting you and providing your share of the support for your child while you are going to school. If your parents want to give you that kind of help, then you would be a fool to turn it down. Its also not necessary for you to get a job if both you and your parents agree that its not in your best interest. You will get imputed an income so that fact that you don't have a job won't have any impact on the father's child support. Re-run the numbers with you having a full time income at whatever you would be capable of earning.

You don't have to go on welfare to get a child support order. Your local child support enforcement agency can get the ball rolling for you for little to no cost. Admittedly, it may take longer if you are not on welfare, because your case won't have as high priority, but they will handle it for you.

You may want to rethink the idea of 50/50 custody when your child turns one. If dad isn't all that interested in spending time with the child now, then age 1 might be too soon to consider something like that. It will still be confusing to your child at age 1....and it might be better put off until age 2 or 3. In any case, I would definitely recommend working your way up to it gradually. It will definitely be easier on the child if you do.

 

[stephgts]

Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your parents supporting you and providing your share of the support for your child while you are going to school. If your parents want to give you that kind of help, then you would be a fool to turn it down. Its also not necessary for you to get a job if both you and your parents agree that its not in your best interest. You will get imputed an income so that fact that you don't have a job won't have any impact on the father's child support. Re-run the numbers with you having a full time income at whatever you would be capable of earning.

You don't have to go on welfare to get a child support order. Your local child support enforcement agency can get the ball rolling for you for little to no cost. Admittedly, it may take longer if you are not on welfare, because your case won't have as high priority, but they will handle it for you.

You may want to rethink the idea of 50/50 custody when your child turns one. If dad isn't all that interested in spending time with the child now, then age 1 might be too soon to consider something like that. It will still be confusing to your child at age 1....and it might be better put off until age 2 or 3. In any case, I would definitely recommend working your way up to it gradually. It will definitely be easier on the child if you do.

thank you very VERY much

 

[haiku]

You may want to rethink the idea of 50/50 custody when your child turns one. If dad isn't all that interested in spending time with the child now, then age 1 might be too soon to consider something like that. It will still be confusing to your child at age 1....and it might be better put off until age 2 or 3. In any case, I would definitely recommend working your way up to it gradually. It will definitely be easier on the child if you do.

umm....Mom doesn't get to call ALL the shots on this one, LDiJ. At anytime Dad can request any sort of custody arrangment he desires also.

 

[LdiJ]

umm....Mom doesn't get to call ALL the shots on this one, LDiJ. At anytime Dad can request any sort of custody arrangment he desires also.

This is true....however he doesn't seem to have much interest at this point....or at least much interest in being locked into a schedule. Which is part of the reason why I suggested that mom hold off on her plan of automatic 50/50 at age 1.

 

[haiku]

This is true....however he doesn't seem to have much interest at this point....or at least much interest in being locked into a schedule. Which is part of the reason why I suggested that mom hold off on her plan of automatic 50/50 at age 1.

I think its jumping the gun to assume anything on the part of Dad when there is no legal visitation order in place.

Having been in almost the same situation this poster has been in-things become VERY different when it comes time to hash out a visitation plan.

And as you well know, no one needs to be locked into a schedule, the schedule is there to protect thier right to have time with thier child.

 

[CJane]

First, I had my daughter is an accredited daycare, and NEVER had to make a change. The socialization, sharing and turntaking skills, exposure to diversity, were all POSITIVE influences in her development!

Yeah, me too. My girls have been attending the same daycare since the oldest (now nearly 10) was not quite 2. Other than the occasional injury playing outside or wrestling with the other kids, I've not had a single issue with the provider. They're wonderful and there's a very low turnover rate.

In fact, all of my sisters are the kind of terrible parents that turn their kids over to STRANGERS to be raised while they work full time + to support themselves and their children, and not one of my neices or nephews has been harmed yet. They're all turning out to be amazing young adults now. Mostly because they have fabulous social skills and no sense of entitlement.

 

[ConcerndStepmom]

No, I'm not a teen parent. I can understand being appalled by my choices because I'm not educated in these areas. I can not understand, however, the rudeness. I am not educated in these areas because I never planned on having children, was in fact told that it would be seriously difficult to conceive. Admittedly I've made assumptions about court costs. If it really doesn't cost an arm and a leg, then sure I'll go do it. I was under the impression that going to court would cost more then covering the CS that is needed currently by other means. My father also had the same impression and will be glad to hear that we were wrong. I had also gone to the Florida CS Calculator online and based on his income and my lack of income, the amount of money it said I would get in CS was what I considered to be WAY to high. I don't need that much a month from him so I figured I'd stick to the verbal agreement (even though verbal agreements mean squat).

SO, since you seem to be a reasonable non-bashing person I'll ask you, what exactly do I need to do to go about getting CS? Do I need a lawyer? Can I represent myself? Would I even need someone to represent me? How much, at the end, would it all cost approx. if you know the answer? If I request DNA testing, how much does that cost? If I get a CO for visitation for the father, do I need a lawyer? What are the estimated costs? What is the cheapest way I can go about getting this all done? Also, is there anything else you can think of that I might need to know about before hand? Thanks

Here is a link to answer most of your Child Support Questions. Child Support and Visitation are two different cases. Normally when one pursues CS then the other parent initiates the child custody and visitation. If there is a DNA test done the alledged father if proven to be the childs biological father would be responsible for the cost.

As others have posted, you do not need to be on welfare to get Child Support. In the link that I have posted will give you phone numbers to call. Answer most of your questions that you have about Child Support and how to go about getting it started. Good Luck!!

http://www.myfloridacounty.com/services/child_support/faqs.html

 

[CJane]

AND - as has already been said mulitple times - waiting until you 'need' Child Support is STUPID. It quite often takes MONTHS AND MONTHS to get something set, and even after the order goes out, it can take months to start getting garnishments, and no one is going to do anything to make it go faster. So, really - you should file at least a year before you think you might 'need' it and still plan on supporting the child on your own financially.

 

[fairisfair]

AND - as has already been said mulitple times - waiting until you 'need' Child Support is STUPID. It quite often takes MONTHS AND MONTHS to get something set, and even after the order goes out, it can take months to start getting garnishments, and no one is going to do anything to make it go faster. So, really - you should file at least a year before you think you might 'need' it and still plan on supporting the child on your own financially.

Took me 14 years. I didn't really need it until year 2 though.