Child Support

[VeronicaGia]

I have recently filed with the courts, but I do have a notarized statement from him concerning support, and he has actually broken that agreement, the 80.00 every other week was a settlement on my part, because he claims he does not work consistently.. I would never deny him visitation because of finances, but I do feel that the arrangement at this time is too much for me financially, because he is not the one that actually picks my son up for the visits, his parents do. They were the ones that suggested I seek advice on cutting back the visitation, I just wanted to hear what others thought, and maybe get an idea of what I should do.

1. Unless it is a court order, it is not enforceable.

2. He does not have to pay to see his child, so denying him visitation due to finances is not an option. They are two separate issues.

3. He is only going to be ordered to pay a share of the childs financial needs, not all of them. You are also required by law to pay for the childs financial needs. So while you think that $160/month isn't enough, add it to the $160/month you are responsible for.

4. To cut a father out of a childs life is to hurt the child. Who do you think will pay more for this "suggestion" from his parents, him or the child? A child is not a pawn to be used for financial gain or for any other reason. The child has the right to have both parents.

 

[melaniebaker78]

1. Unless it is a court order, it is not enforceable.

2. He does not have to pay to see his child, so denying him visitation due to finances is not an option. They are two separate issues.

3. He is only going to be ordered to pay a share of the childs financial needs, not all of them. You are also required by law to pay for the childs financial needs. So while you think that $160/month isn't enough, add it to the $160/month you are responsible for.

4. To cut a father out of a childs life is to hurt the child. Who do you think will pay more for this "suggestion" from his parents, him or the child? A child is not a pawn to be used for financial gain or for any other reason. The child has the right to have both parents.

Yo obviously have not read anything that I have said. I have clearly stated the obvious that money is not a stipulation for visitation. What are you reading. He has never been denied, even though he is the one who abandoned his child a long time ago and decided that he now wants to be a part of his life after almost a year. He has had him for weekends and not given me a cent, so what are you talking about. My visitation remarks are in reference to the fact that we live too far apart for the amount of visitation that is going on. I have to incur more of that than he does, so we will have to rearrange that. And in case you don't know, childcare is actually 100/wk, but he claims he can only handle 80, so guess what his is not even paying half (our agreement of that expense). 400/mo, with 160 coming in still leave the financial liability to me. He does not cover medical, pampers no, clothing no. So unless you can't add. I do have a right to request more financial support. When he sends the money, I have already taken care of most of his obligations. He is not consistent, but I am bc I do what I say and he sees his son, but I can not go on much longer taking responsibility for something that he and most fathers do, and that is do a little here and do a little there. When my son gets older, he will understand. I want to avoid that now, by being stable and handling this now before I give him the label of deadbeat dad, bc right now he is on that path.

 

[stealth2]

Yo obviously have not read anything that I have said. I have clearly stated the obvious that money is not a stipulation for visitation. <snip> My visitation remarks are in reference to the fact that we live too far apart for the amount of visitation that is going on.

I suspect people are reading your comments, such as:

I personally think this visitation is too much considering he is not willing to pay any more support.

They were the ones that suggested I seek advice on cutting back the visitation, I just wanted to hear what others thought, and maybe get an idea of what I should do.

so you HAVE made the inference that he should get less time since he's paying so little. And this post was the first where you made mention of how far away his living is the reason for eow being too much. So it's really not a big stretch to make the assumptions being made.

 

[melaniebaker78]

Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniebaker78
I personally think this visitation is too much considering he is not willing to pay any more support.


This comment was correct, if I am living to my end of the visitation deal, then he needs to live up to his ends of the finances. And for financial reasons, the distance of having to drive, and him not having to, yes I feel he should pay more money. That is a cheap way to get off. If I am driving 2 1/2 hours to the location we agreed upon, and for his parents to show up (which I later find out they are not actually taking my son to his father, but to their home which is 45 min from our meeting spot) is an insult. I want the modifications to visitation for 2 reasons, 1. Sometimes he is not even with my son on the agreed upon weekends, he is with his grandparents 2. I am driving unnecessary distances because the grandparents will not meet me any closer than the meeting place, and he makes no attempts to help with an alternative to me driving so far.

 

[stealth2]

sigh..... so you ARE looking to decrease his visitation due to his "not paying enough". So please stop yelling at people for saying it - it's what you've said and what you would like.

As for the distance - who moved?

At the end of the day, y'all really need a court order for all this.

 

[melaniebaker78]

I feel he is not paying enough cost for the visitations. If I can't afford to take my son to see him, because I can't afford gas, some would say that I am denying him visitation. Which is not the case. He moved to another state, not me, he has hopped between 2 states.

 

[Crazed98]

I feel he is not paying enough cost for the visitations. If I can't afford to take my son to see him, because I can't afford gas, some would say that I am denying him visitation. Which is not the case. He moved to another state, not me, he has hopped between 2 states.

If all you are concerned with if the visitation tell him you cannot drive 2 1/2 to bring your son to see him/his grandparents. It is up to your ex to come get his son if your ex wants to see him. It is not your responsibility at all to bring him to the father.

 

[MandyD]

You brought this all on yourself for not going through the courts in the first place. I see that now you have filed for support through the courts. That's a good first step. Be prepared for him to file for more visitation and joint legal custody as well.

 

[melaniebaker78]

I did not bring anything on myself. As adults going to the courts should be a last resort to solving your problems, especially when things get out of hand. I would like to think that issues at home can be solved at home, with the occasional outlet such as this to seek advice that you can't get from family and friends when times become hard.

 

[Crazed98]

I did not bring anything on myself. As adults going to the courts should be a last resort to solving your problems, especially when things get out of hand. I would like to think that issues at home can be solved at home, with the occasional outlet such as this to seek advice that you can't get from family and friends when times become hard.

Here it is plain and simple if you want to try and get more money go to court. If you don't want to drive 2 1/2 hours then don't.

 

[betterthanher]

I have clearly stated the obvious that money is not a stipulation for visitation. What are you reading.

Liar!

He has had him for weekends and not given me a cent, so what are you talking about.

Visitation and support are separate.

I have to incur more of that than he does, so we will have to rearrange that.

Since you seemed to have not wanted to answer this before, I'll ask it again -- who moved? Who created the distance?

And in case you don't know, childcare is actually 100/wk, but he claims he can only handle 80, so guess what his is not even paying half (our agreement of that expense). 400/mo, with 160 coming in still leave the financial liability to me. He does not cover medical, pampers no, clothing no.

Then maybe you need to look at less-expensive child care. Child care costs are considered child support. Do you make more than him? If he doesn't cover medical, that's your fault for not including it -- not his and he's under no obligation to pay that. Diapers and clothing is what child support is for.

So unless you can't add.

Hey here's an idea...stop being a flipping bitch. You're the one looking for help.

I do have a right to request more financial support.

No, you don't -- not if it's within the guidelines. Child support is not some abitrary amount you can dictate.

When he sends the money, I have already taken care of most of his obligations. He is not consistent, but I am bc I do what I say and he sees his son, but I can not go on much longer taking responsibility for something that he and most fathers do, and that is do a little here and do a little there. When my son gets older, he will understand. I want to avoid that now, by being stable and handling this now before I give him the label of deadbeat dad, bc right now he is on that path.

You are a really big bitch. He's not a deadbeat if he's paying. I would think you're more of the deadbeat and irresponsible because you are the one who seems to be having financial problems.

 

[stealth2]

Since you seemed to have not wanted to answer this before, I'll ask it again -- who moved? Who created the distance?

Asked & answered. Read better, lc.

 

[MandyD]

No, you don't -- not if it's within the guidelines. Child support is not some abitrary amount you can dictate.

QUOTE]

Actually, child support was some arbitrary amount in this case. I guess when you missed having that other question answered, you also missed the important part about them never having been to court on this matter. There is no court order in place at all.

 

[NotSoNew]

just file for CS with the courts since he is not paying (did you do a calculator to see how much you will get)?

leave it to him to file for visitation, dont drive the child to him, if he wants to see the child he can come pick the child up!

easy!

 

[melaniebaker78]

Thank you. I am in the middle of that process now. I have not been able to find a calculator. GA.