Communication

[Ohiogal]

Um I never referred myself as whinny-ing. I was told that I was whinny in my posts. Blah Blah Blah.

Oh and no one is allowed to make typo's either. At least I corrected it. How many people would have just left it?

See, you were not told you were whinny. YOU are the only one said that you whinny.

Misty said this:

Your endless whining threads and complaining about trivial things is starting to get to me.

You said:

Whats the purpose of asking for advice if all you are going to do is tell me how whinny I am or that I complain too much.

Again if you weren't being ridden bareback NONE of this would be an issue now.

 

[mariasusa]

I don't know what your hearing coming up is about...custody/visitation wise. If its a appropriate place to make requests, make requests such as
each parent shall inform the other parent when child is sick and/or misses school due to sickness
each parent shall inform the other parent when there is a medical emergency pertaining to the child

look at deltabravo.net (or .org...not sure) as they have parenting plans. I think you and your ex need a parenting plan that applies to both of you, agreed upon and then attached as part of the court order (includes phonecalls, travel, communication, etc)

My personal experience? Communicate largely by email. It helps keeps things objective and also there is a paper trail if needed.

When you establish basic parenting agreements, you can let the rest go. And it is true...what mom does on her time with child she doesn't really need to account for. Therefore propose a parenting plan (have one or two in hand)...otherwise its just you complaining and being vague about just how much communication you think you and mom should be having about your child.

It would also bother me if I got stood up in court the third time and it just so happened child out of school. But just trust your child is fine, you'll find out what happened...and maybe talk to an attorney about being more aggressive with making sure the next hearing happens. I know I couldn't have skipped out on my hearings like that without repercussions...don't know whats going on in your court system.

 

[gam]

I am not asking to know what they are doing and where they are going every second of every day. You have missed it. If it were not for the fact that this is the third deposition that she has ran from that are scheduled around her and she is asked when would be a good time for her. She all of a sudden skips the deposition to leave town and takes the child with her. Why? That is the question.


She never communicates with me yet I am overstepping. I have to have my lawyer send her lawyer a letter sometimes just to get the simplest of answers. Its ridiculous.

Would you be saying the same thing if the NCP did the same things as the CP is doing now?

No I got the point, your missed mine. It's none of your business why she left town and took the child with her. You have a number to contact her at, as you said she didn't answer her phone. You want her to answer right now, you want her to call you back right now. To be nice she should do it in a reasonable period of time(my court that would be 48 hours for non emergency). If your court order has nothing in it about returning each others calls, then she does not have to do that, it would be nice, and a court could add it in down the road, but she does not have to at this time.

Yes I would say the same thing. Do not assume that people answering your posts have some kind of agenda. I have a daughter who is the CP, her ex would not communicate and did far worse then this. HER EX IS THE NCP. She didn't even have the luxury of emailing her ex's lawyer, the ex's lawyer was worse then the ex.

I have numerous family members in split situations, they are both male and female, I have no bias, the only ones I care about are the children. Male or female, CP or NCP, when your being an idiot, I will let you know regardless.

If your ears and head was open here, I would give you a run down of what her situation was like and how SHE WORKED HER BUTT OFF AND TURNED IT AROUND TO A CO-PARENTING SITUATION.

 

[StayGravity]

I don't know what your hearing coming up is about...custody/visitation wise. If its a appropriate place to make requests, make requests such as
each parent shall inform the other parent when child is sick and/or misses school due to sickness
each parent shall inform the other parent when there is a medical emergency pertaining to the child

Thank you some real advice. The hearing is regarding custody/visitation as you say. I have a parenting plan that I would like a chance to sit down and iron out the details with his mother. She makes that impossible and I won't do anything that concerns her without a lawyer.

My personal experience? Communicate largely by email. It helps keeps things objective and also there is a paper trail if needed.

She will not provide an email address. I have to do everything by lawyer or leaving voice mail as she won't answer the phone.

When you establish basic parenting agreements, you can let the rest go. And it is true...what mom does on her time with child she doesn't really need to account for. Therefore propose a parenting plan (have one or two in hand)...otherwise its just you complaining and being vague about just how much communication you think you and mom should be having about your child.

I rarely have any communication with her now. Like I said she won't answer the phone when I call. I left a message that I took our son to the doctor and I didn't get a call back for two days. The communication I am mostly concerned about is with my child. But in certain instances I need to talk to her about things that concern him.

It would also bother me if I got stood up in court the third time and it just so happened child out of school. But just trust your child is fine, you'll find out what happened...and maybe talk to an attorney about being more aggressive with making sure the next hearing happens. I know I couldn't have skipped out on my hearings like that without repercussions...don't know whats going on in your court system.

I am about to tell my lawyer to file for an immediate contempt of court charges ruling, based on she refuses to show up for the deposition. I am ready for the police to escort her to the next scheduled deposition. I hope that he is OK.

 

[Zigner]

Thank you some real advice. The hearing is regarding custody/visitation as you say. I have a parenting plan that I would like a chance to sit down and iron out the details with his mother. She makes that impossible and I won't do anything that concerns her without a lawyer.

Ahh, what YOU want.

She will not provide an email address. I have to do everything by lawyer or leaving voice mail as she won't answer the phone.

Probably because she's tired of your attempts to control her.

I rarely have any communication with her now. Like I said she won't answer the phone when I call. I left a message that I took our son to the doctor and I didn't get a call back for two days.

So?

The communication I am mostly concerned about is with my child. But in certain instances I need to talk to her about things that concern him.

So?

I am about to tell my lawyer to file for an immediate contempt of court charges ruling, based on she refuses to show up for the deposition. I am ready for the police to escort her to the next scheduled deposition. I hope that he is OK.

Why involve the police in your further attempts to control her?

 

[StayGravity]

No I got the point, your missed mine. It's none of your business why she left town and took the child with her. You have a number to contact her at, as you said she didn't answer her phone. You want her to answer right now, you want her to call you back right now. To be nice she should do it in a reasonable period of time(my court that would be 48 hours for non emergency). If your court order has nothing in it about returning each others calls, then she does not have to do that, it would be nice, and a court could add it in down the road, but she does not have to at this time.

Yes I would say the same thing. Do not assume that people answering your posts have some kind of agenda. I have a daughter who is the CP, her ex would not communicate and did far worse then this. HER EX IS THE NCP. She didn't even have the luxury of emailing her ex's lawyer, the ex's lawyer was worse then the ex.

I have numerous family members in split situations, they are both male and female, I have no bias, the only ones I care about are the children. Male or female, CP or NCP, when your being an idiot, I will let you know regardless.

If your ears and head was open here, I would give you a run down of what her situation was like and how SHE WORKED HER BUTT OFF AND TURNED IT AROUND TO A CO-PARENTING SITUATION.

I don't care why she left town or where she went. I shouldn't have said it like this:

I have tried to call her this morning and she did not answer nor returned my call which is normal for her. With her taking him out of school you would think she would answer to let me know why she was going out of town and taking him with her.

I really only want to know that he is OK. It struck me odd that she would leave town on the day before or of the deposition. My emotions do get the better of me sometimes. My intentions are good, my words are not always.

If her lawyer informed her to leave town, would he be in contempt as well?

 

[StayGravity]

Probably because she's tired of your attempts to control her.

Do you know 100% of the details of everything that goes on between her and I? I would have to write you a book, but it wouldn't matter you have your blinders on and couldn't see the truth if it hit you square in the head. All you think is that I try to control her. Who is controlling who by not showing up for the Depositions as she has been ordered to do by the court.

Why involve the police in your further attempts to control her?

If I am trying to control her, then why have the courts ordered her to attend this deposition. My Lawyer asked for the deposition, it was ordered and scheduled and she hasn't shown up and they have to be rescheduled. Who is controlling who here?

Z unless you have something new go put your control ideas and thoughts elsewhere. I care less what she does. I do care what my son is doing and you can call that controlling all you want. I know that my thoughts are about my son, not his mother.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you some real advice. The hearing is regarding custody/visitation as you say. I have a parenting plan that I would like a chance to sit down and iron out the details with his mother. She makes that impossible and I won't do anything that concerns her without a lawyer.

You have an existing parenting plan, right (I'm not going to go back and check your endless history)? If so, she doesn't have to sit down with you to discuss anything. There's a parenting plan in place and you don't get to dictate that it should be changed - or that she must even talk with you about it. If you can establish a change of circumstances in the child's life, you can try to get the judge to change it.

It is more and more clear that this is all about control. You want to control what your ex does with her life and she has (wisely) chosen to use her attorney as a buffer.

Back off.

I really only want to know that he is OK. It struck me odd that she would leave town on the day before or of the deposition. My emotions do get the better of me sometimes. My intentions are good, my words are not always.

I'm not so sure about your intentions, either.

First, you don't have any right to know that the child is OK every second of every day. Do you hover over the child in school? Does your ex get to watch through your windows every second that the child is with you? Unless you can prove harm, ex gets to do what she wants with her time - or unless there's a court order saying otherwise (and before you start thinking of it, no court in the world is going to tell her that she has to tell you where the child is every second - or even that the child is OK every second.

Second, it is clear that this is all about control. You are trying to unreasonably control your ex in every way you can. Some of your claims are just childish.

If her lawyer informed her to leave town, would he be in contempt as well?

Nope. The lawyer is not party to the action.

Furthermore, go back and read what I said. I didn't say that SHE would be in contempt - just that it would be a possible thing to pursue. However, in order to have her found guilty of contempt, you would have to show that she willfully violated the court's order by failing to show up when there was no good reason why she couldn't do so. That would be EXTREMELY difficult to prove.

 

[mistoffolees]

Do you know 100% of the details of everything that goes on between her and I? I would have to write you a book, but it wouldn't matter you have your blinders on and couldn't see the truth if it hit you square in the head. All you think is that I try to control her. Who is controlling who by not showing up for the Depositions as she has been ordered to do by the court.

Now, we don't know everything that has gone on. But we do have over 5 dozen posts from you that shed a lot of light on your character. When a lot of different people are telling you that you're trying to exert unreasonable levels of control, you really ought to listen.

If I am trying to control her, then why have the courts ordered her to attend this deposition. My Lawyer asked for the deposition, it was ordered and scheduled and she hasn't shown up and they have to be rescheduled. Who is controlling who here?

I guess you haven't taken the time to understand how the system works, either. If your attorney requests a deposition, the court has very little choice but to allow it. It says absolutely nothing about the validity of your claims.

But the things you're whining about here say a great deal about your position.

Z unless you have something new go put your control ideas and thoughts elsewhere. I care less what she does. I do care what my son is doing and you can call that controlling all you want. I know that my thoughts are about my son, not his mother.

That's sure not what your 66 posts are saying about you.

 

[StayGravity]

It is more and more clear that this is all about control. You want to control what your ex does with her life and she has (wisely) chosen to use her attorney as a buffer.

Back off.

LOL YOU have no idea. The only reason I even called her today was because she left town, possible left my son in a harmful situation which I cannot discuss here and yet you say control. Get a clue and stop thinking that all anyone else wants to do is control someone. If I were talking about everything in her personal life that doesn't involve our son, I could see you saying I was controlling. Your basis is only off the fact that I want to know that my son is OK, that I want to know why he isn't in school. If its a family emergency, enough said. If it weren't for the fact she skipped out on another deposition and took my son out of school then left town, this wouldn't have even been an issue.

I'm not so sure about your intentions, either.

Because you know all right?

Second, it is clear that this is all about control. You are trying to unreasonably control your ex in every way you can. Some of your claims are just childish.

Again you Know all right? Wanting to know my son is OK is obviously childish.