Contempt for having a sitter?

[tuffbrk]

My order stated that each parent, or their designated proxy, was responsible for picking up the child at the start of their designated vistation period. I don't know if that helps you at all.

 

[vilmasan]

If this means that the custodial parent must be inconvenienced from time to time, it must be seen to be as much a part of the responsibilities of a parent as adjusting a schedule.

 

[IndyDad1on1]

In IL there is no Right of Refusal law that I am aware of therefore it has to be noted in your most recent CO. Generally though (at least in Indiana) Right of Refusal is commonly extended to Non Custodial parents. The general concept is to give the parent with the least amount of time and the child(ren) in question more time together instead of the custodial parent having someone else watch them. The NCP gets the chance to be the sitter before the sitter does.

As for the pick up person, if the verbiage is general and doesn't specifically state you (and only you) and there are no restrictions against family members, a family member doing the pick up should not be an issue. However, keep all your communication regarding visitation, pickups, etc in writing preferably email. If your ex refuses and calls you then end the call with "I will email you a summery of our conversation" and in your email ask your ex to confirm receipt.

Notes/Journals are also good to keep but having that extra bit of evidence (ie: emails and copies of text message) can really help. Just be sure there are not any strange laws regarding those including the Rules of the Court (however there shouldn't be except for recording voice communications)

Sounds like your ex is just knit picking and stirring up trouble.

 

[IndyDad1on1]

Regarding filing for a modification and requesting flexibility, that request could backfire, as someone else here said. An order that allowed you to request changes to the visitation schedule based on your work schedule that week would necessarily allow her flexibility as well, because the court probably won't make an order stating that you may take the kids whenever is best for you. Instead, an order allowing flexibility would probably allow for adjustments based on mutual agreement. With her apparent desire to make things difficult and cause conflict, that would just give her more room to cause problems by not agreeing to your requests whether the adjustments work for her or not.

Well yes and no. It all depends on what is being requested and the reasons why. Fed stats show that about 41% of Americans have non-traditional work schedules. Courts more and more realize this and want to find a way to make it work. Its not always viewed as whats best for the parents work schedule but still whats best for the child(ren). Where OP has enough notice of his schedule, that may be enough however where OP can try to get a set schedule on the days he has visits, that would work better.

OP: If you work in retail there is a possibility that you can have a set scheduled days off. While this may not be available on the weekends it is most commonly an available option for week days. However, review your companies policies fully. You'd be surprised how many retailers (especially the big boy) have policies regarding off time for legal matters, court orders and many even visitation. Many times since you are the NCP you can just be sure you are off work at the appropriate time for your visits and have an open availability for the days you don't.

 

[gr8rn]

We live about 20min apart, and the school is 15min from me. My schedule is not on a regular rotation, there could be different days off each week and different shifts as well. I know my schedule about two weeks out, and would be able to communicate that asap. My ex is a teacher, so her schedule is set and would be a little easier to change days than with mine.

If I had to set a specific day, then I would run the risk of working on that day from time to time and creating issues with the pick up and drop off. However, if I could have my current wife pick up the kids if the schedule conflicts I would have no problem getting them to school the next day.

I just can't think of anything else that would always work out. I am going to talk to my boss tomorrow to see if I can get a set week day off, so hopefully that goes well.

It seems that in order to simplify things your best bet would be to file for a modification to allow you to designate others to pick up and drop off. That way, you will not necessarily need to be there for exchanges. As others have said, she will not work with you to change days on an every other week basis, so that is not something I would waste my time on. Seeing as how you are doing this pro se, it would be best to simply modify or clarify the pick up and drop off issue.