contempt vs Criminal Charges

[LdiJ]

Mom, you would definitely be in contempt if you deny dad his Thanksgiving visitation simply because he is staying in someone else's home.

However, as far as I know, there is nothing in IN's statutes that makes denial of visitation a criminal charge....whether the police take a report or not. I just went and reviewed the statutes again, and unless there is something I am missing it would not be criminal contempt.

However, that doesn't mean that you couldn't get hit by some fairly hefty fines for denying visitation.

 

[CJane]

However, as far as I know, there is nothing in IN's statutes that makes denial of visitation a criminal charge

The way OP has described this, it sounds like a city/county issue, not something that would be outlined in state statutes.

 

[LdiJ]

The way OP has described this, it sounds like a city/county issue, not something that would be outlined in state statutes.

But that isn't a city/county issue under the Indiana State Constitution...

 

[ctrojan22]

I appreciate everyone's input, what I don't appreciate is that some of you are making me out to be some sort of idiot. I know that I do not have the right to deny his visitation, but I also know that what my children are going through with all of this is not right either. The man married a woman was with her for 1 1/2 years and forced my kids to call her mommy, now they are getting divorced and wants nothing to do with them, He has been in jail for violating a custody order when he took my kids from me at the park told me that he was going to go with them to the playground for a few minutes snuck them under park benches and kept them for 5 days didn't send them to school and my son missed his ISTEP tests that year. He's addicted to pain medication and spends most of the weekend he has with his kids in the emergency room getting his fix. He has tried to sue 5 different stores for pain and suffering when he fell in their establishment. He was fighting with his wife took the kids out a 2am went to a bar where she works then had an arguement with her rolled up the van window on her arms and tried to drive away with her hanging out the window. Has been ordered a psychological evaluation by the courts which he still hasn't completed. Claims he is disabled to avoid paying child support and puts an Ad in the community newspaper to do roofing. And so much more it would take all day to even scratch the surface. I do know that kids learn by example and the reason I divorced him was because he was abusive and what is going on now isn't much better. So you may put me down and tell everyone that I am retarded, I know the laws, and I know under normal circumstances and dealling with a normal person the laws would not be an issue and everything would be fine, but we are not dealing with normal

 

[Silverplum]

One look at your posting history tells me everything I need to know. You are ALL ABOUT denying visitation, scheming ways to keep your kids' father from being with them.

I appreciate everyone's input, what I don't appreciate is that some of you are making me out to be some sort of idiot. I know that I do not have the right to deny his visitation, but I also know that what my children are going through with all of this is not right either. The man married a woman was with her for 1 1/2 years and forced my kids to call her mommy, now they are getting divorced and wants nothing to do with them, He has been in jail for violating a custody order when he took my kids from me at the park told me that he was going to go with them to the playground for a few minutes snuck them under park benches and kept them for 5 days didn't send them to school and my son missed his ISTEP tests that year. He's addicted to pain medication and spends most of the weekend he has with his kids in the emergency room getting his fix. He has tried to sue 5 different stores for pain and suffering when he fell in their establishment. He was fighting with his wife took the kids out a 2am went to a bar where she works then had an arguement with her rolled up the van window on her arms and tried to drive away with her hanging out the window. Has been ordered a psychological evaluation by the courts which he still hasn't completed. Claims he is disabled to avoid paying child support and puts an Ad in the community newspaper to do roofing. And so much more it would take all day to even scratch the surface. I do know that kids learn by example and the reason I divorced him was because he was abusive and what is going on now isn't much better. So you may put me down and tell everyone that I am retarded, I know the laws, and I know under normal circumstances and dealling with a normal person the laws would not be an issue and everything would be fine, but we are not dealing with normal

 

[ctrojan22]

FYI I do not want to deny him visitation, I am requesting supervised visitation, or limited to no overnights until he can get on his own.(supposedly to occur in January) My kids love their father as well they should and I can still have a civil conversation with the man. They speak to him everyday. I want him to straighten out his life and be a GOOD role model for his kids. 5 probation violations and 4 violations of a no contact order isn't exactly what I see and being a responsible person. not to mention numberous other things. Leaving his kids at home with a woman who has alzheimer's disease on his visitations while he goes to a bar is not exactly what I see as responsible (by the way was taken care of in court not allowed to leave them with her anymore doesn't mean it still didn't happen though) so you can judge me, but I you are not the one that has to deal with nightmares and bed wetting and not being able to do a darn thing about it but explain the this is the way it is. You don't have your 8 year old son ask you why his father hurts everyone and why can't his dad be normal.

 

[Ohiogal]

FYI I do not want to deny him visitation, I am requesting supervised visitation, or limited to no overnights until he can get on his own.(supposedly to occur in January)

YOu have no right to ask for this NOR will you get unless dad is a DANGER to the children.

My kids love their father as well they should and I can still have a civil conversation with the man. They speak to him everyday.

Good for them.

I want him to straighten out his life and be a GOOD role model for his kids. 5 probation violations and 4 violations of a no contact order isn't exactly what I see and being a responsible person.

You do not get to decide if he is a good role model for HIS kids. Not your business and not your call. You slept with the man and it is partially your fault that he is daddy.


not to mention numberous other things. Leaving his kids at home with a woman who has alzheimer's disease on his visitations while he goes to a bar is not exactly what I see as responsible (by the way was taken care of in court not allowed to leave them with her anymore doesn't mean it still didn't happen though) so you can judge me, but I you are not the one that has to deal with nightmares and bed wetting and not being able to do a darn thing about it but explain the this is the way it is. You don't have your 8 year old son ask you why his father hurts everyone and why can't his dad be normal.

Then maybe you should get your kids in counseling and be responsible in that regard.

 

[ctrojan22]

I have had them in counseling for 1 1/2 years. Every Thursday night from 6pm till 9pm.

 

[LdiJ]

YOu have no right to ask for this NOR will you get unless dad is a DANGER to the children.

I would suspect that dad leaving the kids with someone who has Alzheimers so that he could go to the bars, which apparently has already been established in court, would be enough to at least call his judgement into question.

I wouldn't have even responded to this latest, but my dad has Alzheimers. He is still at a fairly moderate stage...even mild by some judgements, but even when he was at a truly mild stage it was scary with him and the grandkids/and now a great grandchild. Dad can't take care of himself, let alone a child.

Again, I will repeat that mom cannot simply deny dad's Thanksgiving visitation without facing some fairly serious reprecussions...maybe even very serious reprecussions if its not mom's first contempt. However in Indiana its not criminal contempt....at least as far as I have been able to determine.

 

[haiku]

I have had them in counseling for 1 1/2 years. Every Thursday night from 6pm till 9pm.

3 hours a week?

 

[ctrojan22]

yes 3 hours a week for my 2 boys the counselor has determined that my daughter is still a little too young yet, but should be beginning soon. I am a single mother of 3 who doesn't receive child support and works full time. I have a hard time affording alot of things. I am not breaking the bank at my job. I am receiving medical insurance for the kids through the state, but they only allow certain things, and I really can't afford much more then that right now. I am working with the school vice pricipal and the counselor at the school to see if there is something we can work out. Even if I were to receive child support he is only ordered to pay 38.00 per week for all 3 kids. Won't be able to do a whole lot with that. He is already behind 5k. So I am doing the best I can with what I have. While he wears harley davidson clothes buys a new (used truck) and takes the kids to an indoor waterpark for a weekend (which is great I am glad the kids got to go) I pay for school books, field trips school clothes and new gym shoes every other month. ( boys wear the shoes out pretty fast) So I do what I can.

 

[MrsK]

This is not just the day of thanksgiving, it is from Wednesday night to Sunday night. I let him take the kids this past weekend because he agreed with me that the kids should not stay there and he was going to get a hotel room and he lied and my kids slept on the floor. 2 weeks prior when he had the kids for visitation he was staying at someone elses house who came home drunk and kicked him out with my kids there. This man brought home 2 men and they starting throwing my ex's things on the front lawn as my kids watched. My ex is in the process of getting a divorce, has no job, no place to live and no money and his current wife has since received an order of protection because of abuse.

OMG, the kids had to sleep on the FLOOR???? THAT *******.



Yeah, sometimes my kids voluntarily come sleep in the floor in my room when they want to be by me. I make them a little bed down there & give them lots of blankets & they sleep great.

Someone, quick, call CPS on me.

 

[ctrojan22]

OK I have heard enough about the floor. I guess I should have also explained that there are 2 more adults and 3 more children besides my ex and our 3 kids. there is simply not enough room for everyone and my kids were complaining I will let everyone know that my ex and I are trying to work out a compromise. He is going to take them tomorrow till 10pm. I will have them thursday and friday until 4pm and he will keep them till sunday. I am still not happy about them sleeping there, I don't know anything about these other people except the rumors and they weren't good ones. I wish that some of the posters were not so but I guess everyone has a right to their opinion. What some people may think is no big deal can mean the world to someone else. I have gone through alot in my marriage and in my divorce, and unless you have been there you will never really understand my points. I am a hard working, caring person who only wants the best for their kids which is what everyone wants. For someone to say to me that I slept with him so everything that has and is happpening to me is partially was very offending. When you marry someone you don't exptect that down the line that the guy is going to abuse you quit work and expect you to do everything. Then have kids and stick it out for years because you are going to make it right and you are going to change him. I stayed with this man for over 7 years 7 abusive years, but I took a vow for better or worse and I promised to stick by him until my kids were old enough to understand that daddy just through a plate at mommy's head while we were sitting eating dinner because the meatloaf was to dry, or mommy just got body slammed on the porch for trying to leave. These are things that my kids remember. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to go back to my mom and dad. This man pushed my dad through his own kitchen wall. It took a long time for me to admit I was abused, and it was the biggest relief in my life and am now able to talk about it and live with it. So be as judgemental as you want to, but you will never be able to walk in my shoes and say that these kids need to see him abuse other women, and have the police called almost every weekend when he was still living with his current wife because he has his right to visitation. I am trying to work with him, but I will never be comfortable with the situation

 

[StickyFingers]

OK I have heard enough about the floor. I guess I should have also explained that there are 2 more adults and 3 more children besides my ex and our 3 kids.

Who gives a crap....let the kids spend time with Dad. Will it really kill ya?


I will let everyone know that my ex and I are trying to work out a compromise. He is going to take them tomorrow till 10pm. I will have them thursday and friday until 4pm and he will keep them till sunday.

Mighty nice of you. BUT wait......Thought he was going to a hotel? And he still gets them for a night...and he will have them sleeping on a floor/couch.....

Sweetheart pick your battles....this is not a mountain (more like a mole hill) you should die on...

I suggest that you quit becoming a hard time to deal with in the situation...I know it has got to be hard to deal with on it's own.

And as far as the alleged abuse....you can drop it. I'm not buying and I am a survivor.

I feel for these kids.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1516309#post1516309

 

[Ohiogal]

OK I have heard enough about the floor.


You were the one whining about the floor.

I guess I should have also explained that there are 2 more adults and 3 more children besides my ex and our 3 kids. there is simply not enough room for everyone and my kids were complaining

So what? YOur kids were whining? Maybe they are a bit divaish. Maybe every family that had to bunk elsewhere after Katrina should have been deprived of their children because of the number of people. Maybe big family gatherings should also be outlawed because your kids would complain. LEGALLY that does NOT MATTER unless the situation is an IMMEDIATE DANGER to the children.

I will let everyone know that my ex and I are trying to work out a compromise.

And truthfully he doesn't have to compromise with you. He has a court order. YOU BOTH MUST FOLLOW IT. THAT IS THE LAW!

He is going to take them tomorrow till 10pm. I will have them thursday and friday until 4pm and he will keep them till sunday.

He gets them during his time. If he is being nice and agreeing to other times that is on him but he does not HAVE TO DO THAT!

I am still not happy about them sleeping there, I don't know anything about these other people except the rumors and they weren't good ones.

RUMORS mean absolutely positively NOTHING in a courtroom. And the court is the one who dictates nowadays. YOu have a court order.


I wish that some of the posters were not so but I guess everyone has a right to their opinion. What some people may think is no big deal can mean the world to someone else.

And because your panties are in a twist over this doesn't mean that LEGALLY it matters one whit.

I have gone through alot in my marriage and in my divorce, and unless you have been there you will never really understand my points.

Poor baby but you better think again about who you are talking to.

I am a hard working, caring person who only wants the best for their kids which is what everyone wants. For someone to say to me that I slept with him so everything that has and is happpening to me is partially was very offending.


Oh well. The truth hurts. Legally that is what matters. YOU CHOSE THIS MAN to be the father of your children -- not once but more than once. YOU DECIDED. Now you gotta with that decision no matter how much whining you do.

When you marry someone you don't exptect that down the line that the guy is going to abuse you quit work and expect you to do everything.

And you could have left.

Then have kids

Oh he was abusive and then you had kids? There is brilliance. So because of your stupidity -- the man quit work, abused you and expected you to do everything and THEN you had kids? -- you want sympathy and us to think you are the best role model possible. LOVELY! Own up to the fact that you made a bad choice.

and stick it out for years because you are going to make it right and you are going to change him.

And again your stupidity is showing -- you can't change anyone else but yourself.

I stayed with this man for over 7 years 7 abusive years,

Your bad decision.


but I took a vow for better or worse and I promised to stick by him until my kids were old enough to understand that daddy just through a plate at mommy's head while we were sitting eating dinner because the meatloaf was to dry, or mommy just got body slammed on the porch for trying to leave. These are things that my kids remember.

And that truthfully is your fault because you were teaching your son how to be an abuser and your daughter that love means getting plates thrown at their heads. So you want to blame dad for your children's problems. LOOK IN THE MIRROR. YOu could have prevented that if you had grown a spine and walked out the first time that happened. But you didn't -- you stayed be it for sex, money or stupidity.

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to go back to my mom and dad. This man pushed my dad through his own kitchen wall. It took a long time for me to admit I was abused, and it was the biggest relief in my life and am now able to talk about it and live with it. So be as judgemental as you want to, but you will never be able to walk in my shoes and say that these kids need to see him abuse other women, and have the police called almost every weekend when he was still living with his current wife because he has his right to visitation. I am trying to work with him, but I will never be comfortable with the situation

Then maybe you are the one that needs counseling -- total counseling. You played your role and you did it well but you dont' want to admit your part in this. These kids didn't need to see you being abused but you didn't mind that. YOU CHOSE TO ALLOW THEM TO SE THAT! And that is on you. Your whining, crying, wanting sympathy doesn't fly. YOU ARE AT LEAST PARTIALLY TO BLAME. YOu played the victim, you didn't put your kids first. You now have a court order to follow and you must follow it.