contempt vs Criminal Charges

[Shefie1]

If I were in your situation, I would do everything to protect my children also. When it comes to them and their safety, making sure they grow up to make the right choices and be responsible, happy, successful little people, legalities are only thought of once. Why do you think there are so many pictures of missing mothers and their own children on the milk cartons? Mothers are doing whatever they can to protect their children. I give you kudos for dealing with this they way you are rather than taking off with them. Their dad needs help. It wouldnt help him to not be able to see his kids, it may even push him over the edge. I would compromise as you are. Let him get back on his feet. You say you can talk to him, what has he said about your concerns about the other people? Does he deny them? Does he understand your concern? Being their father, it seems he would want his kids safe also, but alcoholism is a terrible disease and can cloud judgement. Kids learn what they see growing up, I am a true believer in that due to the fact that my father was abusive, HIS father was abusive, and my two older brothers are the same. They saw my dad being that way, they thought it was the way they were supposed to be and it was "normal"...sad. Does he have family that would help him?

 

[Shefie1]

Then maybe you are the one that needs counseling -- total counseling. You played your role and you did it well but you dont' want to admit your part in this. These kids didn't need to see you being abused but you didn't mind that. YOU CHOSE TO ALLOW THEM TO SE THAT! And that is on you. Your whining, crying, wanting sympathy doesn't fly. YOU ARE AT LEAST PARTIALLY TO BLAME. YOu played the victim, you didn't put your kids first. You now have a court order to follow and you must follow it.

An abuser doesnt give anyone any time to get the kids out of the room before they smack you....

as they are running after you or have their hands raised..."Just a minute, please. I have to remove the kids from the room so they dont watch this happening."

Please....for her kids, she tried to leave, for her kids, she tried to stay, she got beat either way...you obviously havent been in an abusive relationship.

Had he ever abused the kids?

 

[stealth2]

An abuser doesnt give anyone any time to get the kids out of the room before they smack you....

as they are running after you or have their hands raised..."Just a minute, please. I have to remove the kids from the room so they dont watch this happening."

Please....for her kids, she tried to leave, for her kids, she tried to stay, she got beat either way...you obviously havent been in an abusive relationship.

Had he ever abused the kids?

But it IS a choice to remain after the first time. And the second. And the third, fourth, fifth. The very first time my ex laid a hand on me in anger, I made it plain that it was the last time or he would be very, very sorry. He never did that again.

There IS help out there. But one needs to make the first move in asking for it.

 

[Ohiogal]

An abuser doesnt give anyone any time to get the kids out of the room before they smack you....

as they are running after you or have their hands raised..."Just a minute, please. I have to remove the kids from the room so they dont watch this happening."

Please....for her kids, she tried to leave, for her kids, she tried to stay, she got beat either way...you obviously havent been in an abusive relationship.

Had he ever abused the kids?

You know nothing about me. She made the bad choice to stay after the first time he did that. SHE CHOSE THAT LIFE FOR HERSELF whatever her excuse is. She could have left after the first time and did not.
You also know NOTHING ABOUT THE LAW!

 

[CJane]

You also know NOTHING ABOUT THE LAW!

Wait. Are you saying it's not ok to kidnap your kids and protect them 'at any cost'?

And also... do they still put people's pictures on milk cartons? Can you even still BUY milk in cartons?

 

[Ohiogal]

If I were in your situation, I would do everything to protect my children also. When it comes to them and their safety, making sure they grow up to make the right choices and be responsible, happy, successful little people, legalities are only thought of once. Why do you think there are so many pictures of missing mothers and their own children on the milk cartons? Mothers are doing whatever they can to protect their children. I give you kudos for dealing with this they way you are rather than taking off with them. Their dad needs help. It wouldnt help him to not be able to see his kids, it may even push him over the edge. I would compromise as you are. Let him get back on his feet. You say you can talk to him, what has he said about your concerns about the other people? Does he deny them? Does he understand your concern? Being their father, it seems he would want his kids safe also, but alcoholism is a terrible disease and can cloud judgement. Kids learn what they see growing up, I am a true believer in that due to the fact that my father was abusive, HIS father was abusive, and my two older brothers are the same. They saw my dad being that way, they thought it was the way they were supposed to be and it was "normal"...sad. Does he have family that would help him?

You do realize that this is a legal forum and you don't just cast aside the law because it doesn't suit you at any point in time? Mothers who run with their children are criminals. Plain and simple. And there is no excuse for kidnapping. There are legal avenues that can be taken. She has no right to disobey a court order -- plain and simple.
You have no right to tell someone to disobey a court order. If she wants the court order changed then she goes through the proper legal channels to change it.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wait. Are you saying it's not ok to kidnap your kids and protect them 'at any cost'?

And also... do they still put people's pictures on milk cartons? Can you even still BUY milk in cartons?

Yep that is what I am saying.

 

[nextwife]

You know nothing about me. She made the bad choice to stay after the first time he did that.

Exactly. She chose to have kids with him, now he IS their father. HE has the rigt to whatever the courts determine he should have, based upon being their father. She CANNOT unpick whenever dad may be.

We get ONE chance to PICK who becomes our child's bioparent- that is when we decide whether or not to have sex with someone. And unless there was a rape report, we must presume that she CHOSE to potentially concieve with this guy.

 

[AHA]

OP, how about spending this holiday for what it's purpose is, to give thanks and be grateful for what you have.
Your kids have 2 parents in their life, do you realise how many kids in the world have neither and would probably LOVE to have as much as a floor INDOORS to sleep on. Don't spend this holiday degrading what Thanksgiving is all about!!!