Custodial grandparent passed away. What happens now?

[Aguerra01]

I received paperwork regarding my daughter. I had signed over guardianship to my daughters grandmother and grandfather. They divorced and the grandfather signed over his guardianship to the grandmother. The paperwork is all about her past (after her injury). The paperwork about this case says she was placed in child services care (8-1-18), after a hearing 8-3-18 they decided child services was the most appropriate placement for her regarding her injury. She had a sustained a brain injury and suffers from blindness and mobility problems. She requires 24 hour care.

This is hearing is to find placement for my daughter. So now I have an issue of can I take care of her? My girlfriend is a quadriplegic and requires a lot of care. There's no way I can take care of both. If I cant take guardianship of my daughter and she goes into state custody what will happen? If I do take guardianship what will happen?

There are a lot of unknowns. I don't have money for a lawyer and am not sure what to do next or where they will place her. I think that tomorrow they will decide placement, unless I had a lawyer. My daughter doesn't know who I am, would it be better to be placed with someone who can take proper care of her needs or fight for her to be with me, who cannot provide proper care of her, unless I put her in a residential facility. I'm torn. I don't know her and she doesn't know me. Will that just confuse her more! I don't know what to do...

 

[Ohiogal]

I received paperwork regarding my daughter. I had signed over guardianship to my daughters grandmother and grandfather. They divorced and the grandfather signed over his guardianship to the grandmother. The paperwork is all about her past (after her injury). The paperwork about this case says she was placed in child services care (8-1-18), after a hearing 8-3-18 they decided child services was the most appropriate placement for her regarding her injury. She had a sustained a brain injury and suffers from blindness and mobility problems. She requires 24 hour care.

This is hearing is to find placement for my daughter. So now I have an issue of can I take care of her? My girlfriend is a quadriplegic and requires a lot of care. There's no way I can take care of both. If I cant take guardianship of my daughter and she goes into state custody what will happen? If I do take guardianship what will happen?

There are a lot of unknowns. I don't have money for a lawyer and am not sure what to do next or where they will place her. I think that tomorrow they will decide placement, unless I had a lawyer. My daughter doesn't know who I am, would it be better to be placed with someone who can take proper care of her needs or fight for her to be with me, who cannot provide proper care of her, unless I put her in a residential facility. I'm torn. I don't know her and she doesn't know me. Will that just confuse her more! I don't know what to do...

You might qualify for appointed counsel. But if not, it boils down to choosing between YOUR CHILD and your girlfriend. Choose wisely.

 

[Aguerra01]

You might qualify for appointed counsel. But if not, it boils down to choosing between YOUR CHILD and your girlfriend. Choose wisely.

That's exactly it... I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and take care of her needs as a quadriplegic. Now I have to choose my girlfriend or my 13 year old child that doesn't even know who I am that requires 24 hr care. What's really best for her? I ask myself....

 

[Aguerra01]

That's exactly it... I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and take care of her needs as a quadriplegic. Now I have to choose my girlfriend or my 13 year old child that doesn't even know who I am that requires 24 hr care. What's really best for her? I ask myself....

I will try to get appointed counsel....

 

[Zigner]

That's exactly it... I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and take care of her needs as a quadriplegic. Now I have to choose my girlfriend or my 13 year old child that doesn't even know who I am that requires 24 hr care. What's really best for her? I ask myself....

Poor kid.

 

[Just Blue]

That's exactly it... I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and take care of her needs as a quadriplegic. Now I have to choose my girlfriend or my 13 year old child that doesn't even know who I am that requires 24 hr care. What's really best for her? I ask myself....

You're a real piece of work ...

 

[stealth2]

If you can't/won't take her, you can expect to be paying child support. She will have expenses that the state should not be expected to pay completely. Hopefully, grandma left something to help. If Mom's rights were not terminated, she should also be on the hook for supporting her.

It's very sad that this child has lost the only person willing to care for her. With luck, the state will place her where she will get kindness and care.

And while I understand that you were young at the time, that does not explain the intervening years.

 

[laurakaye]

If you can't/won't take her, you can expect to be paying child support. She will have expenses that the state should not be expected to pay completely. Hopefully, grandma left something to help. If Mom's rights were not terminated, she should also be on the hook for supporting her.

It's very sad that this child has lost the only person willing to care for her. With luck, the state will place her where she will get kindness and care.

And while I understand that you were young at the time, that does not explain the intervening years.

In his original post, Aguerra01 stated, "They had me sign over my rights to them where I was not responsible for child support. I'm not even sure exactly what all I signed, I was young. It's been 12 years. They however would not let me see her. Every time I showed up to see her they turned me away. I haven't seen her since she was 18 months old."

The woman who took care of his daughter was the mother of the person who was jailed for five years for violently shaking her and causing life-altering injuries to her.

The same woman then took legal steps to extinguish any role Aguerra01 may have had in her grandaughter's life.

It's a very sad situation, but it sounds like it was exactly how grandma wanted it until grandma died.

Aguerra01 can only start from today.

 

[stealth2]

In his original post, Aguerra01 stated, "They had me sign over my rights to them where I was not responsible for child support. I'm not even sure exactly what all I signed, I was young. It's been 12 years. They however would not let me see her. Every time I showed up to see her they turned me away. I haven't seen her since she was 18 months old."

The woman who took care of his daughter was the mother of the person who was jailed for five years for violently shaking her and causing life-altering injuries to her.

The same woman then took legal steps to extinguish any role Aguerra01 may have had in her grandaughter's life.

It's a very sad situation, but it sounds like it was exactly how grandma wanted it until grandma died.

Aguerra01 can only start from today.

And OP had 12 years to attempt to get visitation orders. And in a subsequent post he stated that he signed guardianship over to the maternal grandparents. NOT his rights. And while his g/f's situation is sad, his first responsibility is to his child.

 

[Aguerra01]

I don't know my child. I would love to just drop everything to take care of her. But that's not realistic. We have never had a relationship and I'm not even sure she would understand who I was. I don't have the means to take care of her. I still have to work to be able to provide financially. I can't stay home to take care of her. I'm not trying to just throw her to the wayside, I'm being realistic and honest. I may look like another POS dad that doesn't want his kid but there are certain circumstances that come into play here. I'm going to seek counsel but we'll see how far that gets me.

My guess is they won't give me much of a choice and the state will take custody and I'll pay child support. I'm not sure but I don't have any choice, even with counsel, to be honest!

 

[Aguerra01]

Judge me if you want........

 

[Zigner]

I don't know my child. I would love to just drop everything to take care of her. But that's not realistic. We have never had a relationship and I'm not even sure she would understand who I was. I don't have the means to take care of her. I still have to work to be able to provide financially. I can't stay home to take care of her. I'm not trying to just throw her to the wayside, I'm being realistic and honest. I may look like another POS dad that doesn't want his kid but there are certain circumstances that come into play here. I'm going to seek counsel but we'll see how far that gets me.

Is your 12 year old daughter mentally impaired in some way? If not, then why do you think she wouldn't understand?

My guess is they won't give me much of a choice and the state will take custody and I'll pay child support. I'm not sure but I don't have any choice, even with counsel, to be honest!

You DO have a choice, and you've apparently chose already.

I say it again: Poor kid.

ETA: Then again, maybe it's better to not stick you with the child. It will be better to be somewhere she's wanted, as opposed to being made to feel that she's a terrible burden.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Is your 12 year old daughter mentally impaired in some way? If not, then why do you think she wouldn't understand?

You DO have a choice, and you've apparently chose already.

I say it again: Poor kid.

ETA: Then again, maybe it's better to not stick you with the child. It will be better to be somewhere she's wanted, as opposed to being made to feel that she's a terrible burden.

The child has brain damage from shaken baby syndrome, resulting in blindness and "mobility issues" requiring 24 hr care, it would not be a huge surprise if her injuries left her cognitively impaired as well.

OP's ex and her husband deserved more than 5 years in prison for that, IMHO.

Even if OP dumped his girlfriend like a hot potato to take care of his daughter, he would need a lot of (expensive) help. This is not to say that I don't think it would be worth it, just that OP should be encouraged more than just dumped on here. His relationship with his girlfriend hints that he can treat a disabled person with compassion and love.

Aguerra, have you been able to meet with your daughter? I think you should do your best to get to know your daughter and be involved with her life. She really may have to stay in a facility, and she really might not be cognitively able to have a relationship with you - or you may be pleasantly surprised by the girl she has grown into, and her disabilities might be complementary to you girlfriend's. Take the chance - take the opportunity to finally get to know her.

 

[Zigner]

The child has brain damage from shaken baby syndrome, resulting in blindness and "mobility issues" requiring 24 hr care, it would not be a huge surprise if her injuries left her cognitively impaired as well.

OP's ex and her husband deserved more than 5 years in prison for that, IMHO.

Thank you for refreshing that information for me.

 

[Aguerra01]

I showed up to court this morning, which surprised the judge, juvenile officer and the guardian ad l idem. nobody expected me to show bc they said most parents don't show up to these hearings. The did a urine test, which I passed and a hair follicle test, they have to send off. They said I would start with supervised hr long visits and maybe even 2 hr long visits bc I live so far away a couple times a month.
The told me she has the mentality of a 2 yr old, suffers blindness and has mobility issues. She's currently in foster care. Further down the line they said there's a facility only 40 min away they could put her in. That would be great because I could see her frequently. Her actually staying with me would be a while down the road.
I told them, I'd have to move and make adjustments to where I lived to accommodate for her. I never said I didn't want her, there's just a lot involved that goes into this. My girlfriend and I have a lot a head of us. And it's gonna be a crazy ride but just maybe it could be done...
There are still many questions but we'll see what can be done....