Custodial parent leaving for a month or longer leaving us with kids...

[AL_Madi]

UPDATE, 3 month assignment

Dad will have kids while Mom is out of state for a job for 3 months (or 13 weeks) and the question remains: Will Dad need to do anything legally, such as have the CP status changed for this time frame and if so can it be done without going to court - like submitting a letter to the courts or something? And BOTH parents should meet at the school to have mailing address, etc changed even though temporary?

Also, in the state of Ark, since Mom will be apx 10hrs drive, what is the standard visitation guidelines for such a commute since Mom will be out of state? And holidays? Even if Dad and Mom meet half way every other weekend - that is still 5 hrs one way!

Thank you for your help

 

[CJane]

The answer is not going to change. The children will be with Dad. He doesn't need primary custody because obviously Mom AGREES to the children living with him for the 3 months.

This will NOT establish status quo, so Dad should think twice about attempting to file for custody while Mom's gone.

Dad should ALREADY be listed as a mailing address for school junk. You were given that answer way back when. Mom doesn't need to be there. He needs to go in, tell them to update his info in their records, offer to leave them SASE and get on with his life.

Why is this so hard to comprehend?

How visitation will work is dependent upon what the orders state for holidays. Nothing changes along those lines either. If Mom wants the kids for a weekend, it's really in THEIR best interests that Dad not be a jerkface about it.

 

[AL_Madi]

First of all, it wasnt a question of filing for custody and it was mentioned previously that it was Temporary and Dad would not file "while Mom is gone'. The schools in ARK are not very flexible which is why the question and need for clarification. If there is a question or problem at school - if a class schedule needs to be changed, any paperwork signed, etc - THEY (the school) has indicated that the CP MUST sign the paperwork. My fault for not specifying this before, and I apologize if it didnt paint a bigger picture. This whole situation really is a CYA case and though I understood a month as no need for change, I misunderstood or perhaps overlooked the response to a longer term (though temp.) situation. I do believe I mentioned it was TEMPORARY in my previous posts I will be sure to reread the other posts to see where I had missed this and make sure I read any furture posts with great care, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Found a link to ARK standard visitation but it seems to not be working (requires a password). I will see if I can locate the hard copy and hopefully it will address out of state visitation.

So, just so we (the board) are clear - Dad is NOT trying to pull one over on MOM.... especially while she is out of state! Dad is not trying to be a jerkface either. Dad has been the one to bend over backwards - afterall, HE is the one paying BOTH shares of the kids' expenses that is decreed to be 50/50 while Mom has been unemployed, plus some. Unfortunately, this has been a big financial burden which Dad isnt exactly able to afford (and this is after seperating my expenses out of the equation) even with my help. But ya know - DAD could be a real jerkface, file contempt, and have the courts order the Mom to pay him back or maybe even show the courts that Mom cannot find local employment in her in-demand career for whatever reasons. So yeah, lets let jerkface Dad do this and have Mom tell the kids Dad is being mean to Mom because of money (because even though YOU dont know she would do this, DAD does know!).

 

[CJane]

My "jerkface" comment is because I KNOW that YOU and Dad, by association (because no one here doubts that YOU are driving this train) are going to expect MOM, the CUSTODIAL PARENT to abide by a state standard visitation plan while she's traveling for work. EVEN THOUGH mom has been MORE than generous w/Dad's "reasonable" visitation.

Jerkface.

 

[AL_Madi]

My "jerkface" comment is because I KNOW that YOU and Dad, by association (because no one here doubts that YOU are driving this train) are going to expect MOM, the CUSTODIAL PARENT to abide by a state standard visitation plan while she's traveling for work. EVEN THOUGH mom has been MORE than generous w/Dad's "reasonable" visitation.

Jerkface.

Seriously... childish name calling?


Yup, you have Dad and I pegged. And you reaaallly hit the nail on the head with me.

This isnt about Mom - this is about Dad covering his arse legally. Of course Dad wants what is best for the children, and there needs to be a realistic balance as well. The first one being the fact that there is no way that Dad can get the children to the halfway point by Fri 6pm unless he takes off work and pulls the kids out of school. That would also make the drive home on Sunday pretty late when the kids have school the next day. This schedule will also interfere with his on call status (sometimes every 2 weeks, sometimes every 3) - if he's on call and cannot leave town, will the courts see that it was not intentional if Mom isnt so forgiving?

Yes, I seek answers not because I am trying to drive any train - but because Dad's personality is one that takes it as it comes and does little preparing and homework. He's like... the absent minded professor, sometimes. Knowledge has always driven me and being prepared for anything in such an unstable world. I dont tell Dad what to do, I dont even tell him what I think he should do when it comes to the kids.

BTW, I did look at the previous posts and from what I could gather, the answer for CP change was provided for a one month time frame, which is why I asked about the 3 months this go around - so it wasnt that I was beating a dead horse and not 'getting it'.

 

[Isis1]

Seriously... childish name calling?


Yup, you have Dad and I pegged. And you reaaallly hit the nail on the head with me.

This isnt about Mom - this is about Dad covering his arse legally. Of course Dad wants what is best for the children, and there needs to be a realistic balance as well. The first one being the fact that there is no way that Dad can get the children to the halfway point by Fri 6pm unless he takes off work and pulls the kids out of school. That would also make the drive home on Sunday pretty late when the kids have school the next day. This schedule will also interfere with his on call status (sometimes every 2 weeks, sometimes every 3) - if he's on call and cannot leave town, will the courts see that it was not intentional if Mom isnt so forgiving?

Yes, I seek answers not because I am trying to drive any train - but because Dad's personality is one that takes it as it comes and does little preparing and homework. He's like... the absent minded professor, sometimes. Knowledge has always driven me and being prepared for anything in such an unstable world. I dont tell Dad what to do, I dont even tell him what I think he should do when it comes to the kids.

BTW, I did look at the previous posts and from what I could gather, the answer for CP change was provided for a one month time frame, which is why I asked about the 3 months this go around - so it wasnt that I was beating a dead horse and not 'getting it'.

and that, right there, makes you an enabler.

 

[AL_Madi]

and that, right there, makes you an enabler.

Sadly, I cannot argue that logic