Custody Visitation - Ex moved away

[Stoic]

FACTS:

1. I live in the state of Maryland.
2. I divorced from ex wife in July 2020. We have a five year old daughter.
3. On June 1 2022, ex wife advised me she was moving one hour away on June 30,2022. (Two days ago, we lived 11 minutes apart). She did not ask me. She told me after only getting home under contract.
4. She moved there to be closer to her new husband's job.
5. We have joint legal custody 50/50 with custody schedule in place.
6. Which says the following.

a. The parties shall equally share having physical custody and control of the minor child on a weekly basis according to the following schedule:

(i) Week #1: The minor child shall be with the Husband from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Monday at 6:30 a.m., with the Wife from Monday at 6:30 a.m. through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband at from Wednesday at 4:30 p.m. through Thursday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Thursday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.; and

(ii) Week #2: The minor child shall be with the Wife from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Tuesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband from Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. through Wednesday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Wednesday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.

(iii) The parties agree that they may modify the weekly parenting schedule by mutual agreement of the parties.

Questions
1. Ex clearly has violated court ordered agreement as I cannot maintain my current custody/visitation. Ex is presumed to have settled on home yesterday and moved in. Is there any court action that could undo that and have ex move back in my area for the sake of the child?

2. My desired outcome is for mom and dad to live within 30 minutes of one another so I do not lose weekday/weekend access to my daughter. Is there any way I can achieve this?

3. I do not believe I should be responsible for that long drive in heavy traffic. I don't think I should even be responsible for half of that drive. I did not initiate the move or cause this. What is the best way to achieve not having to make that long drive.

Thank you and I appreciate your input.

 

[Just Blue]

FACTS:

1. I live in the state of Maryland.
2. I divorced from ex wife in July 2020. We have a five year old daughter.
3. On June 1 2022, ex wife advised me she was moving one hour away on June 30,2022. (Two days ago, we lived 11 minutes apart). She did not ask me. She told me after only getting home under contract.
4. She moved there to be closer to her new husband's job.
5. We have joint legal custody 50/50 with custody schedule in place.
6. Which says the following.

a. The parties shall equally share having physical custody and control of the minor child on a weekly basis according to the following schedule:

(i) Week #1: The minor child shall be with the Husband from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Monday at 6:30 a.m., with the Wife from Monday at 6:30 a.m. through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband at from Wednesday at 4:30 p.m. through Thursday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Thursday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.; and

(ii) Week #2: The minor child shall be with the Wife from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Tuesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband from Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. through Wednesday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Wednesday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.

(iii) The parties agree that they may modify the weekly parenting schedule by mutual agreement of the parties.

Questions
1. Ex clearly has violated court ordered agreement as I cannot maintain my current custody/visitation. Ex is presumed to have settled on home yesterday and moved in. Is there any court action that could undo that and have ex move back in my area for the sake of the child?

2. My desired outcome is for mom and dad to live within 30 minutes of one another so I do not lose weekday/weekend access to my daughter. Is there any way I can achieve this?

3. I do not believe I should be responsible for that long drive in heavy traffic. I don't think I should even be responsible for half of that drive. I did not initiate the move or cause this. What is the best way to achieve not having to make that long drive.

Thank you and I appreciate your input.

What does your court order state re moving? Anything? What does it state re legal custody and schooling?

I'll wait upon your answer before addressing your questions...except question 1:

No. There is no way a court will order your ex wife to "undo" her home purchase and force her to move back to your area. But depending what the court order state re move aways you may be able to get primary custody. Please note I said "may". More likely the Judge would order your ex be responsible for transportation to maintain the schedule.

 

[adjusterjack]

Millions of people accross the country commute an hour each way (or more) in heavy traffic so I don't think you'll get very far if you go to court with that whine.

Now that your child is, or almost is, at school age it's not going to be too difficult for your ex to break that ridiculous ping pong schedule and get weekday custody while you maybe get weekends.

I suggest you rely on this:

(iii) The parties agree that they may modify the weekly parenting schedule by mutual agreement of the parties.

Instead of getting hostile, and making lawyers happy, you would be wise to take your child's emotional development into consideration.

 

[zddoodah]

Ex clearly has violated court ordered agreement

That may be, but it's not clear based on what you wrote.

as I cannot maintain my current custody/visitation.

Why not?

Is there any court action that could undo that and have ex move back in my area for the sake of the child?

No, but the court might order a modification of the schedule you outlined.

My desired outcome is for mom and dad to live within 30 minutes of one another so I do not lose weekday/weekend access to my daughter. Is there any way I can achieve this?

No. You cannot compel your ex to live within a certain distance of you.

Questions
...
3. I do not believe I should be responsible for that long drive in heavy traffic. I don't think I should even be responsible for half of that drive. I did not initiate the move or cause this. What is the best way to achieve not having to make that long drive.

This isn't a question, but here are a few questions for you:

1. How old is the child?
2. What does your divorce decree say, if anything, about giving notice of a move?
3. When you say she is moving "one hour away," what does that mean in terms of mileage?
4. Upon receiving notice on 6/1/22, what was your response? What efforts did you make to notify your ex of your objections? What efforts did you make to try and negotiate a modification to the existing schedule in order to address your stated concerns? What efforts did you make to obtain an injunction against the move for what you described as a "clear[] ... violat[ion] [of the] court order[]"?

 

[Stoic]

Millions of people accross the country commute an hour each way (or more) in heavy traffic so I don't think you'll get very far if you go to court with that whine.

Now that your child is, or almost is, at school age it's not going to be too difficult for your ex to break that ridiculous ping pong schedule and get weekday custody while you maybe get weekends.

I suggest you rely on this:



Instead of getting hostile, and making lawyers happy, you would be wise to take your child's emotional development into consideration.

Whine? Are you kidding me?

I'm supposed to drive an hour (two hours total round trip) a day to and from school each day and that's whining. Court order says I get weekdays and weekends. That is not a reasonable possibility.

What part of my post suggests I'm not taking my child's emotional development into consideration?

 

[Just Blue]

Whine? Are you kidding me?

I'm supposed to drive an hour (two hours total round trip) a day to and from school each day and that's whining. Court order says I get weekdays and weekends. That is not a reasonable possibility.

What part of my post suggests I'm not taking my child's emotional development into consideration?

sigh...

Could you please answer the question I asked?

 

[Zigner]

I'm supposed to drive an hour (two hours total round trip) a day to and from school each day and that's whining. Court order says I get weekdays and weekends. That is not a reasonable possibility.

If you wish to maintain 50/50, then you may wish to seek a reasonable modification of the order...perhaps 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off.

 

[Stoic]

That may be, but it's not clear based on what you wrote.




Why not?

Because ex now lives one hour plus away if there is no traffic.

Child is five and entering kindergarden in the Fall.

How would I be able to see child during the week and weekends one hour away?


No, but the court might order a modification of the schedule you outlined.

Okay, thanks.


No. You cannot compel your ex to live within a certain distance of you.

Okay, thank you.


This isn't a question, but here are a few questions for you:

1. How old is the child? Child is 5.
2. What does your divorce decree say, if anything, about giving notice of a move? It does not address it specifically.

The parties shall have joint legal custody and joint decision-making power with each other regarding the emotional, moral, educational, physical and general welfare of their child, Madison Yi Eller. It is the intention of the parties that each of them shall participate as much as possible in making all the decisions with respect to education, medical treatment, illness, operations (except emergencies), health, welfare and other matters of similar importance affecting their child.


3. When you say she is moving "one hour away," what does that mean in terms of mileage?

45 miles

4. Upon receiving notice on 6/1/22, what was your response? What efforts did you make to notify your ex of your objections? What efforts did you make to try and negotiate a modification to the existing schedule in order to address your stated concerns? What efforts did you make to obtain an injunction against the move for what you described as a "clear[] ... violat[ion] [of the] court order[]"?

Fair questions. I told her that it was foolish. I told her that I wanted my daughter to stay in the same school district as she presently is. I then called an attorney for a consult, which took 10 days to get in to do so.

 

[Stoic]

sigh...

Could you please answer the question I asked?

Just Blue, that was not addressed to you.

That was intended for Adjuster Jack.

 

[Stoic]

If you wish to maintain 50/50, then you may wish to seek a reasonable modification of the order...perhaps 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off.

That would not be possible as daughter needs to go to and from school.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Whine? Are you kidding me?

I'm supposed to drive an hour (two hours total round trip) a day to and from school each day and that's whining. Court order says I get weekdays and weekends. That is not a reasonable possibility.

What part of my post suggests I'm not taking my child's emotional development into consideration?

Another path you may try with the court is the mother bringing the child to you or at least part of the way. But no court is going to require her to move back and asking the court to make her simply makes you look bad.

 

[Zigner]

That would not be possible as daughter needs to go to and from school.

I understand that and I understood it when I made my suggestion.
You're going to have to come up with a reasonable solution - and not just reasonable to you.

 

[AlmostThere]

You have chosen a tough schedule that is awful for a young child. Do you really want to be waking up your child to do exchanges at 6:30 AM -are you actually planning to drop the child off at the other parent's house at 6:30 am to then be transported to school? It makes far more sense to use school as your exchange. If your exchange day is a school day, whichever parent had the child the night before drops the child at school in the morning, and the other parent is responsible for receiving the child from school.

What about summers and vacations? What about when you have a teenager?

 

[LdiJ]

FACTS:

1. I live in the state of Maryland.
2. I divorced from ex wife in July 2020. We have a five year old daughter.
3. On June 1 2022, ex wife advised me she was moving one hour away on June 30,2022. (Two days ago, we lived 11 minutes apart). She did not ask me. She told me after only getting home under contract.
4. She moved there to be closer to her new husband's job.
5. We have joint legal custody 50/50 with custody schedule in place.
6. Which says the following.

a. The parties shall equally share having physical custody and control of the minor child on a weekly basis according to the following schedule:

(i) Week #1: The minor child shall be with the Husband from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Monday at 6:30 a.m., with the Wife from Monday at 6:30 a.m. through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband at from Wednesday at 4:30 p.m. through Thursday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Thursday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.; and

(ii) Week #2: The minor child shall be with the Wife from Friday at 4:30 p.m. through Tuesday at 4:30 p.m., with the Husband from Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. through Wednesday at 6:30 a.m., and with the Wife from Wednesday at 6:30 a.m. through Friday at 4:30 p.m.

(iii) The parties agree that they may modify the weekly parenting schedule by mutual agreement of the parties.

That is a selfish schedule. It might be great for the parents but it is horrible for the child. She is bouncing around like a ping-pong ball and I guarantee that she would make her unhappiness known if it continued into the school aged years.

Questions
1. Ex clearly has violated court ordered agreement as I cannot maintain my current custody/visitation. Ex is presumed to have settled on home yesterday and moved in. Is there any court action that could undo that and have ex move back in my area for the sake of the child?

You might have had a small chance of stopping the move if you had immediately rushed to court for emergency orders once you knew about it. In other words, before mom closed on a house in the new area. It would place a huge financial burden on mom to move back now and a judge is unlikely to do that to her.

2. My desired outcome is for mom and dad to live within 30 minutes of one another so I do not lose weekday/weekend access to my daughter. Is there any way I can achieve this?

Yes, you could achieve it by moving yourself within 30 minues of mom's new home.

3. I do not believe I should be responsible for that long drive in heavy traffic. I don't think I should even be responsible for half of that drive. I did not initiate the move or cause this. What is the best way to achieve not having to make that long drive.

Take it to court to come up with a parenting schedule that makes more sense considering the distance and the fact that your child is about to start school and ask that mom be required to provide the transportation since she created the distance. However, it is possible that the judge might order that you meet half way if the judge feels that is more in the best interests of the child.

You also need to be looking at school districts and other issues of a more long term nature when trying to come up with a new schedule that both makes sense with the distance and takes the child's needs into consideration intead of the parent's needs.

 

[zddoodah]

Fair questions.

Thanks. I'll look forward to your answers.

I then called an attorney for a consult, which took 10 days to get in to do so.

So...10 days after 6/1/22 was nearly three weeks ago. Did you hire an attorney?