custody

[vclem27]

And what does YOUR situation have to do with this POSTER'S RIGHT to an honest LEGAL answer?

Not a darn thing.

 

[stealth2]

clem, here's what you don't seem to understand. The time to choose a stress-free and happy life for your child is when you are choosing a reproductive partner. You have a child with a selfish idiot, then your child is going to have to deal with that reality, thanks to your choice of bedmate. 95% of the time, it's really that simple.

 

[Username2005]

How can I best educated myself regarding the issues of custody
and support? There are going to be many issues and I do want
to start out right.
Also, if it is going to be state specific I'll need to educate myself
with NC laws.

 

[vclem27]

clem, here's what you don't seem to understand. The time to choose a stress-free and happy life for your child is when you are choosing a reproductive partner. You have a child with a selfish idiot, then your child is going to have to deal with that reality, thanks to your choice of bedmate. 95% of the time, it's really that simple.

Unfortunately, I, like more than half of this country, have chosen more than just a bedmate for a partner. I chose what I thought would be a life partner. I was married, she turned wacko. I notice that many people here have done the same thing, including the onces that are giving "HONEST LEGAL" advice. And I truly do understand what BB is saying, I was just commenting that I think the facts and laws suck sometimes. I will no longer post my opinion. I apologize.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Start here. NC Statutes

 

[Username2005]

I am glad to hear your opinon.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I am glad to hear your opinon.

You may be glad to hear his opinion, but what you better be concentrating on right now is not opinion but law.

And the reason we get so pissy with opinion on this forum is that more times than not it is wrong, someone accepts it as true and then come back here because they either lost their case based on the false information or are in deep **** because of it.

This is NOT a fourm to share opinions. It is a legal advice site.

 

[Username2005]

True, I should focus on law and not opinion, good advice.
One more question about custody. Can you give me a ball
park figure of how much time he could get with our child
being that he lives in California and I in NC?
When she is of school age would he be able to get the entire
summer?
Also, I looked at the link to the NC statutes and am not quite
able to interpret them. Is there a website where I can get the
information I need for "lay people"?

 

[Mbarr]

What you THINK doesn't matter anymore. That's what happens when you have a child without the benefit of marriage. You let the court decide what is best.

Huh? Regardless of whether the child is a product of a marriage or not, the court will decide what is best.

And the easy answer is STOP HAVING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK.

so you want to blame the father? YOu go right ahead. But that's why we have courts. In this forum we NEVER hear both sides. And unless you know this poster and both stories, the ONLY thing we can answer is according to the law.

And, of course, interjecting our own personal opinions and prejudices therewith. (myself included)

And what does YOUR situation have to do with this POSTER'S RIGHT to an honest LEGAL answer?

About as much as your opinion of having children out of wedlock. What is the point in castigating people about the choices they SHOULD have made. Is it useful or beneficial in any manner? Is it legal advice, after the fact? Can they change the past?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Nice little spin on things. Without one shred of legal advice.

So, are we going to start this little game? Because I don't mind at all.

 

[Momto1yrold]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

What are his chances of getting custody and how much time would
he have to have her to get his support obligation lowered?

Well since you already filed for support. I believe you need to file a seperate petition for custody. Well this is what I had to do. Support was established after he admitted to being father. After final support was ordered he became upset at the amount and then petitioned me to vacate order of filiation. Then even though he had no proof of waht he was saying, I agreed to the dna. First my lawyer was going to fight it but I said I know hes the dad as long as he pays for the testing go ahead. The judge was looking in the best interest of the child tehn as well. He said something about not wanting the child to go through life with anyone saying that he isnt the father and to defintiely know who the father is.

And my daughter was 12 months when her father said he "wanted visitation". He wants 1 hr every 3 weeks. And since he doesnt know her the law guardian says it needs to be supervised for no less than 6 months. Its going to be at a family center. Although she is 16 months now he still ahs not made an effort to see her. I'm not preventing him.

When you file for custody, your child will get a law guardian, and they do whats best for the child. I believe unless your unfit, drugs, alcohol etc, they wont rip the child out of your home. But i think they will most likely start out supervised visits. Every little aspect of each case could change the outcome.
They have legal aid lawyer you could look for one in the phone book. Even just to ask some questions.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Well since you already filed for support. I believe you need to file a seperate petition for custody.

SHE doesn't have to file anything.

When you file for custody, your child will get a law guardian, and they do whats best for the child.

First, not every state or case is appointed a law guardian. It's state specific. Second, the law guardian does not DO anything. They make recommedations to the court.

I believe unless your unfit, drugs, alcohol etc, they wont rip the child out of your home. But i think they will most likely start out supervised visits. Every little aspect of each case could change the outcome.

drugs and alcohol, as has already been discussed, does not convey unfitness. Only a court can make that determination and again, each state has statutory requirements to reach a finding of unfitness.

 

[stealth2]

One more question about custody. Can you give me a ball
park figure of how much time he could get with our child
being that he lives in California and I in NC?
When she is of school age would he be able to get the entire
summer?

It is entirely possible that he would get the bulk of the summer, at the very least a month. If I were you, I would pretty much figure that he'd be getting, at a minimum, alternating (major) holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and half of school breaks. (edit) He could get as much as all summer minus a couple of weeks for you, all school breaks, and alternating holidays.

Also, I looked at the link to the NC statutes and am not quite
able to interpret them. Is there a website where I can get the
information I need for "lay people"?

A few good resources would be http://www.divorceinfo.com/nchelps.htm and http://www.divorcenet.com/states/north_carolina

 

[betterthanher]

Bitter - party of one - your table is now ready...

Did you even read this post or just this particular response that encourage you to spout off a retarded comment??

 

[Mbarr]

Nice little spin on things. Without one shred of legal advice.

So, are we going to start this little game? Because I don't mind at all.

You already gave the OP legal advice, together with your opinion. I didn't see the need to be redundant.

There are many times throughout my work day when I would like to tell people exactly what I think about the incredibly stupid choices they have made in their lives which eventually brought them to me. However, I keep my personal opinion to myself, unless it is relevant.

I don't see any necessity for beating people up over what they can't change (even if it does make one feel better to vent). I'm guilty of doing the same thing on other threads when something gets my hackles up, and this wasn't meant as a personal attack against you.

Just my own general rant. Now I'm shutting up and going to work.