Dad left kids alone (?!?!?!)

[CJane]

I read a lot of the responses, not every one, so sorry if redundant. But my thing about leaving kids alone is their safety too. What if someone breaks in while alone, what if they eat and choke. My kids are 13 and 11 and leave them to go to grocery store, short errands and they know not to eat while I'm gone or answer phone or door. I make them eat a snack or ask them if they're hungry before I leave, stuff like that. I agree with others, let CPS know. Doesn't mean he will lose visitation, just drive home the point to him in no uncertain terms to never do that kinda stuff again. Hope this helps.

Really?

(stoopid character limit)

 

[TheGeekess]

I read a lot of the responses, not every one, so sorry if redundant. But my thing about leaving kids alone is their safety too. What if someone breaks in while alone, what if they eat and choke. My kids are 13 and 11 and leave them to go to grocery store, short errands and they know not to eat while I'm gone or answer phone or door. I make them eat a snack or ask them if they're hungry before I leave, stuff like that. I agree with others, let CPS know. Doesn't mean he will lose visitation, just drive home the point to him in no uncertain terms to never do that kinda stuff again. Hope this helps.

Alrighty then.

 

[gr8rn]

Well, I called CPS anonymously and asked them what they would do about a situation like this. They said they would not investigate, as there is no minimum age for children to be left alone in the State of Hawaii.

So it sounds like you have your answer as far as CPS is concerned. I have had experience with difficult coparents, and I know how you feel about "waking the sleeping giant" so to speak. Since he is contrite, and agrees to a lapse in judgement related to his "stress" , perhaps you can have him agree to requesting your assistance in these types of situations. Something along the line of, " you know, (dimwit) , I am always available to come over and watch the kids while you run to the auto parts store, grocery store, mechanic, drug store, or whenever you need to go somewhere and can't take the kids. Can we have an agreement that in the future, you will call me and I will stay with the kids till you get back? I will be happy to do that for our kids anytime."

 

[Mnemosyne]

This is exactly why I prepare containers of pre-chewed food before I leave for work. If the children should need to eat before I get home, simply open and serve.

I read a lot of the responses, not every one, so sorry if redundant. But my thing about leaving kids alone is their safety too. What if someone breaks in while alone, what if they eat and choke. My kids are 13 and 11 and leave them to go to grocery store, short errands and they know not to eat while I'm gone or answer phone or door. I make them eat a snack or ask them if they're hungry before I leave, stuff like that.

 

[CJane]

This is exactly why I prepare containers of pre-chewed food before I leave for work. If the children should need to eat before I get home, simply open and serve.

That's so disgusting. And yet... like sweet little baby birds...

I told my 12 and 15 year olds about this post last night. They both looked at me like I'd lost my marbles. If they couldn't eat when I wasn't home, they'd starve to death.

 

[not2cleverRed]

This is exactly why I prepare containers of pre-chewed food before I leave for work. If the children should need to eat before I get home, simply open and serve.

And keep all plastic bags locked up!

 

[stealth2]

Wait... an 11 and 13yo are not competent enough to feed themselves? Okay, I can understand that *some* parents may not be comfortable allowing young teens/tweens to cook while home alone, but really? They can't EAT if Mom is out of the home? Criminy on crackers! That's just.... weird.

 

[MichaCA]

Wait... an 11 and 13yo are not competent enough to feed themselves? Okay, I can understand that *some* parents may not be comfortable allowing young teens/tweens to cook while home alone, but really? They can't EAT if Mom is out of the home? Criminy on crackers! That's just.... weird.

My stipulation is no cooking while I'm gone. We moved and now have a gas stove I don't think she is as alert and aware as say an adult (who got blasted by a gas oven once) of the importance of what materials need not be close to the stove including hair, clothing in reaching over a pot, oven mitts, the gas running too long before ignition, etc.

However, now she does largely take care of her eating. Pull out leftovers, heat on stove - I spent some time showing her through trial and experience how low heat is kind of important, that worked.

Our next step is getting the fire extinguisher (can't believe don't have one) and learning how to use it.

I believe in teaching, teaching, teaching, in stages, so the child/now teen knows how to handle stuff herself, knows when and where to be cautious, etc. Its not taking her word for it. Its watching a few times how she does.

Oh well, for whatever that was worth.

OP, let us know how it works out. I love the suggestion of offering to run over if he needs to go somewhere. My ex is quite similar - bullheaded, some really poor parenting choices, impossible for the info to come from ME. However (as already said) he was contrite. I have seen times in past where my ex is actually humble and kind, and we are able to achieve a short term comraderie. Then he does something nuts and I get mad. Perhaps - I'm not sure as there were also sometimes real safety issues involved - it would have been better if I stayed with the 'comraderie' spirit in coparenting...even if outraged...as that may have allowed more open communication, perhaps getting him to listen to you. Long shot - I know.