Thanks. I was born and raised in Ireland, so wet behind the ears yes definitely. I moved out straight away on 1/25/2008 and hired an attorney. The reason I hired an attorney straight away is because there is a limited amount of time within which you can file for an annulment in IL. Long story short I'm already on my third retainer. I gave her between $5,000 and $6,000 when I was with her and have already shelled out almost $12,000 in legal costs. I expect that I will incur at least another $15,000 in legal costs. So to break the cost down.
Cash I gave her when I was with her $6,000
My legal costs (estimate) $25,000
Her legal costs that I will have to pay
because she is unemployed $25,000
Uncovered medical costs ($10k - $20k) $15,000
So in Summary if I get out for less then $75,000 I'll probably be doing well considering she is also looking for maintenance and fictitious costs. Obviously I don't have $75,000 and will have to re mortgage so I have two additional questions?
1). Is there anything I can do at this point to stop incurring legal costs? The case drags on and on every month and I get billed and for every $ I spend she is entitled to the same. That being said we probably won't get a proper hearing until October, one month after the child arrives.
2). I make $80,000 per year, she is unemployed and hasn't worked for over five years. It is a mystery to me how she has survived as she denies being in receipt of child support for her two existing sons one of which her parents pay for him to attend Private high school, she also drives a brand new car which she claims was given to her by her ex boyfriend. Discovery should bring some truth to that story. Will the courts factor into the child support award the fact that I will have incurred additional debt for legal and pregnancy related medical costs? Thanks again.
Yes, divorce is expensive. Marriage is expensive. Nothing you've stated is unusual.
Why in the world have you had 3 attorneys? Sequentially dropping attorneys because you don't like what they tell you isn't generally a good idea.
Wake up time: You need to realize something. The fact that she was pregnant when you married her is irrelevant because she miscarried that child and later became pregnant to you. The fact that she hasn't worked is irrelevant. The fact that you want to believe that you were doing her a favor is irrelevant. The fact that you don't know how she has supported herself in the past is irrelevant. In fact, almost everything you've cited is irrelevant.
Here are the facts the court will consider:
1. You married her. No one was holding a gun to your head.
2. She became pregnant. You admit it that you are responsible.
3. You want to divorce her.
4. She has no other source of income.
It's not a complex situation, even though you're trying to make it out to be. I'm having a really hard time figuring out why you think you can get an annulment. You file for divorce, follow the procedures in your state, and eventually go your separate ways.
You will be supporting the child(ren). Period. You will pay some, if not all, of her legal expenses. You will give her about half of any assets accumulated during your marriage. You will probably not be paying alimony because it's a short term marriage.
The only other thing you have to consider is what you're going to do about your children. Your options are to try to get sole custody (extremely difficult unless you can show that IN THE COURT'S EYES she's an unfit mother). You can walk away and never see the kids. Or anything in between. Figure out what you want and work with your attorney to try to get it.
All the other stuff (her earlier pregnancies, etc) is irrelevant, so drop it. It's costing you energy, time, and money.
