Divorce

[Screwed99]

Logic states -- She was NOT pregnant with twins when you married. She couldn't have been. Because here is the deal -- if she would have miscarried and gotten pregnant immediately her body most likely would have rejected the pregnancy. The percentages are extremely high on repeat miscarriages when pregnancy happens right away. How far along in the twin pregnancy was she when you got married? And if she miscarried after you got married in December then the earliest she could have gotten pregnant was end of January which would mean her due date would be approximately mid to end of October. and that is if she got pregnant about as soon as she could after the supposed miscarriage. My bet is she found a patsy and you were it. She never miscarried. And the baby will born "early" as compared to the due date. Probably beginning of August which she will explain by saying that the baby is early due to the fact that she has had two previous children.

Thanks. She was definitely pregnant on 10/15/2008. I've no idea how you can make those home pregnancy kits come out positive without actually being pregnant. I purchased a home pregnancy kit and was with her when she tested it, it came out positive so she would have been a little less than three months pregnant with the twins when I married her on 12/18/2008. On 12/1/2008 I was with her in the hospital and was with her when the doctor gave her a printed diagnosis clearly stating "threatened abortion" (the medical terminololgy for a misscarriage). However she stated to me that there was no conclusive evidence that the twins were gone as she stated that when they performed the ultrasound that there was a cist in her womb which made it hard to tell whether or not they were still there (I was not in the room for the ultrasound). In the weeks from 12/1/2008 - 12/18/2008 she stated that she was still pregnant as she could still feel the movement and was still getting sick. She was unable to get a follow up appointment (or so she said) not having insurance and was constantly complaining about this life threatening cist. The week before 12/18/2008 she was claiming to desperately need an abortion or medical attention. I married her on 12/18/2008. She had an appointment with her OBGYN on 1/9/2008 and came home with an ultrasound picture the results showing a new baby of about 5-6 weeks Gestational age.

 

[Screwed99]

Yes, divorce is expensive. Marriage is expensive. Nothing you've stated is unusual.

Why in the world have you had 3 attorneys? Sequentially dropping attorneys because you don't like what they tell you isn't generally a good idea.

Wake up time: You need to realize something. The fact that she was pregnant when you married her is irrelevant because she miscarried that child and later became pregnant to you. The fact that she hasn't worked is irrelevant. The fact that you want to believe that you were doing her a favor is irrelevant. The fact that you don't know how she has supported herself in the past is irrelevant. In fact, almost everything you've cited is irrelevant.

Here are the facts the court will consider:
1. You married her. No one was holding a gun to your head.
2. She became pregnant. You admit it that you are responsible.
3. You want to divorce her.
4. She has no other source of income.

It's not a complex situation, even though you're trying to make it out to be. I'm having a really hard time figuring out why you think you can get an annulment. You file for divorce, follow the procedures in your state, and eventually go your separate ways.

You will be supporting the child(ren). Period. You will pay some, if not all, of her legal expenses. You will give her about half of any assets accumulated during your marriage. You will probably not be paying alimony because it's a short term marriage.

The only other thing you have to consider is what you're going to do about your children. Your options are to try to get sole custody (extremely difficult unless you can show that IN THE COURT'S EYES she's an unfit mother). You can walk away and never see the kids. Or anything in between. Figure out what you want and work with your attorney to try to get it.

All the other stuff (her earlier pregnancies, etc) is irrelevant, so drop it. It's costing you energy, time, and money.

Thanks. Here are the facts. She became pregnant with twins or around 9/20/2008 - 10/1/2008. I've no idea when she miscarried with the twins but her expected due date is 9/2/2008 with the new baby which means she conceived around 12/1/2008, I married her on 12/18/2008 so she was definitely pregnant before I married her. I know it seems impossible because on 12/1/2008 I was with her when she was in hospital with the report she was given stating threatened misscarriage. I've been trying to piece all the information together for months now, something is not right.

I'm still with my second attorney. I dropped the first guy because he charged me $5,800 after five weeks after having verbally stated that it would cost in total about $4,000 at our first meeting.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks. Here are the facts. She became pregnant with twins or around 9/20/2008 - 10/1/2008. I've no idea when she miscarried with the twins but her expected due date is 9/2/2008 with the new baby which means she conceived around 12/1/2008, I married her on 12/18/2008 so she was definitely pregnant before I married her. I know it seems impossible because on 12/1/2008 I was with her when she was in hospital with the report she was given stating threatened misscarriage. I've been trying to piece all the information together for months now, something is not right.

I'm still with my second attorney. I dropped the first guy because he charged me $5,800 after five weeks after having verbally stated that it would cost in total about $4,000 at our first meeting.

Her earlier pregnancy just doesn't matter. It is completely irrelevant. She is pregnant. You married her. The timing suggests that you are the father (the birth date suggests that she got pregnant some time after 11/27 and before 12/25 or so. Your marriage on 12/18 is consistent with that). Everything I posted above is what you need to worry about.

If your attorney really did give you a fixed price and exceeded it, you'd have grounds for a complaint. However, I'm skeptical that this is what really occurred. Furthermore, if your attorney told you you would be able to get an annulment in this situation, either you have a lousy attorney or there's something else going on that you haven't mentioned.

You also stated that you're on your third retainer. I obviously don't know your situation, but when someone goes through three attorneys and still isn't happy, it's far more likely to be a client problem than an attorney problem. Go back to my earlier post and focus on the facts that matter and stop wasting time on things that don't matter.

 

[majomom1]

Sorry... but these dates do not add up. There is no way that she miscarried twins, at two or three months along and then immediately got pregnant AND had this life threatening cyst...

btw, what ever happened with that cyst? Did it magically disappear? Oh, let me guess, it went away when she miscarried... right? You married her on 12/18 yet she didn't have an appointment until 1/9? Doesn't sound like an emergency to me. And how did you get her on your insurance so fast AND it not be considered pre-existing? I though most insurance companies only have an annual enrollment period - you can't just add/change anytime during the year.

There are too many holes in this story. You need to do some research - gather ALL the dates and info - not just her word. I also would not presume that you will be paying all of her attorney fees. You had a short term marriage and if you can show any of this as lies AND that she is intentionally ignoring the requests from the insurance - you may not be held liable for her.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry... but these dates do not add up. There is no way that she miscarried twins, at two or three months along and then immediately got pregnant AND had this life threatening cyst...

btw, what ever happened with that cyst? Did it magically disappear? Oh, let me guess, it went away when she miscarried... right? You married her on 12/18 yet she didn't have an appointment until 1/9? Doesn't sound like an emergency to me. And how did you get her on your insurance so fast AND it not be considered pre-existing? I though most insurance companies only have an annual enrollment period - you can't just add/change anytime during the year.

There are too many holes in this story. You need to do some research - gather ALL the dates and info - not just her word. I also would not presume that you will be paying all of her attorney fees. You had a short term marriage and if you can show any of this as lies AND that she is intentionally ignoring the requests from the insurance - you may not be held liable for her.

He was most likely able to add her due to the marriage and if she had ANY insurance before (even medicaid) then it would not be pre-existing. There are holes in this situation though. Anyone got a truck I can drive through them?

As for how much the attorney said it would cost -- are you sure he wasn't giving you a guesstimate and then you exceeded the time due to an overabundance of phone calls/emails/faxes/mailings or such?

 

[Screwed99]

Sorry... but these dates do not add up. There is no way that she miscarried twins, at two or three months along and then immediately got pregnant AND had this life threatening cyst...

btw, what ever happened with that cyst? Did it magically disappear? Oh, let me guess, it went away when she miscarried... right? You married her on 12/18 yet she didn't have an appointment until 1/9? Doesn't sound like an emergency to me. And how did you get her on your insurance so fast AND it not be considered pre-existing? I though most insurance companies only have an annual enrollment period - you can't just add/change anytime during the year.

There are too many holes in this story. You need to do some research - gather ALL the dates and info - not just her word. I also would not presume that you will be paying all of her attorney fees. You had a short term marriage and if you can show any of this as lies AND that she is intentionally ignoring the requests from the insurance - you may not be held liable for her.

Yes, the cyst did magically disappear, after 1/9/2008 it was never mentioned again. When I pressed the issue the abuse got really bad. I was able to get her on my Insurance straight away. She didn't get an appointment until 1/9 because it took about two weeks after I married her to actually get her on my Insurance. No questions were asked about the pre-existing condition. With the company I work for our annual enrollment period is November for benefits starting effective 1/1 of the following year but getting married is considered by the company that I work for as an exception to the rule and one where you can actually change your benefits mid year or at any time to include your newly wed spouse on your insurance.

 

[Screwed99]

Her earlier pregnancy just doesn't matter. It is completely irrelevant. She is pregnant. You married her. The timing suggests that you are the father (the birth date suggests that she got pregnant some time after 11/27 and before 12/25 or so. Your marriage on 12/18 is consistent with that). Everything I posted above is what you need to worry about.

If your attorney really did give you a fixed price and exceeded it, you'd have grounds for a complaint. However, I'm skeptical that this is what really occurred. Furthermore, if your attorney told you you would be able to get an annulment in this situation, either you have a lousy attorney or there's something else going on that you haven't mentioned.

You also stated that you're on your third retainer. I obviously don't know your situation, but when someone goes through three attorneys and still isn't happy, it's far more likely to be a client problem than an attorney problem. Go back to my earlier post and focus on the facts that matter and stop wasting time on things that don't matter.

Thanks. I have no issue with being the father and I'm pretty sure that I am. I'm on my third retainer but only my SECOND attorney. I've paid my second attorney two retainers already. I told my first attorney about what happened, she threatened abortion and stated that she had a life threatening cyst on 12/14/2008, I married her on the 12/18/2008, they are the facts. No one held a gun to my head but there was no way in the world I wanted to marry her, she needed to get on my Insurance and it was the only way around it, in my naivety I was not aware of the consequences. My first attorney (with the law offices of Jeffery Leving) suggested invalidity of marriage under conditions of duress. We did not have a church ceremony so technically annulment is not the correct term although I always refer to it as such.

 

[Screwed99]

He was most likely able to add her due to the marriage and if she had ANY insurance before (even medicaid) then it would not be pre-existing. There are holes in this situation though. Anyone got a truck I can drive through them?

As for how much the attorney said it would cost -- are you sure he wasn't giving you a guesstimate and then you exceeded the time due to an overabundance of phone calls/emails/faxes/mailings or such?

Yes, you're probably right about that. We did have alot of contact but I took issue with being charged .30 hours (which is 18 minutes) for three to four minute phone conversations I had with him. That in my opinion is rounding up five times over which is not ethical. 18 minutes per brief phone call at a bill rate of $350 per hour adds up.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, you're probably right about that. We did have alot of contact but I took issue with being charged .30 hours (which is 18 minutes) for three to four minute phone conversations I had with him. That in my opinion is rounding up five times over which is not ethical. 18 minutes per brief phone call at a bill rate of $350 per hour adds up.

That IS ethical as long as the costs were disclosed. And I have clients that say they speak to me for five minutes and I tell them to look again. I have a timer on my phone. Other attorneys bill by the quarter hour. Some by the 1/10 of an hour. Very few minute bill. And you chose an attorney that charges $350 an hour.

 

[mistoffolees]

Yes, you're probably right about that. We did have alot of contact but I took issue with being charged .30 hours (which is 18 minutes) for three to four minute phone conversations I had with him. That in my opinion is rounding up five times over which is not ethical. 18 minutes per brief phone call at a bill rate of $350 per hour adds up.

That's not the least bit unethical (assuming they told you). Every attorney I've ever seen has a minimum bill. A quarter hour (0.25 hours) is fairly common. My attorney had a 10 minute minimum - which was a big help.

But that should have been disclosed to you ahead of time. You had the option to choose a different attorney. OR, you could save up all your phone calls, letters, and emails to bundle them together so you weren't paying for half an hour to answer a 3 minute question. But it's not unethical (assuming it was disclosed).

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks. I have no issue with being the father and I'm pretty sure that I am. I'm on my third retainer but only my SECOND attorney. I've paid my second attorney two retainers already. I told my first attorney about what happened, she threatened abortion and stated that she had a life threatening cyst on 12/14/2008, I married her on the 12/18/2008, they are the facts. No one held a gun to my head but there was no way in the world I wanted to marry her, she needed to get on my Insurance and it was the only way around it, in my naivety I was not aware of the consequences. My first attorney (with the law offices of Jeffery Leving) suggested invalidity of marriage under conditions of duress. We did not have a church ceremony so technically annulment is not the correct term although I always refer to it as such.

Her threatening abortion isn't relevant (it wasn't your kid, remember?). Her claim of a life threatening cyst isn't relevant. I'm not sure how in the world your attorney thinks he can get an annulment (yes, that is the correct term even if there was no church ceremony) on the basis of duress when I haven't seen a thing here that suggests you were under duress. You were trying to do her a favor. That's not duress.

In fact, from what you've described, you'd better be careful who you tell your story to because you may well be charged with insurance fraud. Your position seems to be that the ONLY reason you married her was to get her insurance, although you didn't care for her and didn't want to be married to her. If you were to claim that publicly, you would be guilty of fraud (ethically, if not legally). (The fact that she became pregnant within a couple of weeks of your wedding suggests that you may have seen it differently last December, though).