Does a Custody Evaluation expire?

[stealth2]

Dude - would you rather we shine you on that 100% you'll prevail? You have made it clear that you will not compromise in the least - she likely feels the same way. So one of you will be disappointed.

 

[_HappyDad_]

No, I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm asking on what data to collect for a hearing. So, for anyone who has experience with such, I'd like to hear your advice.

I've come to every hearing with loads of evidence. I like to be prepared. I've listed factors in my favor in earlier posts.

 

[LdiJ]

It is impossible to assess my level of cooperation based on a singular situation.

Do you think my EX should just agree to my school district?

No I do not. You have a 50/50 timeshare and joint decision making. I think that the decision should be made jointly, based on school quality and best convenience for both parties. I think that the decision should be made fairly. That is how a judge would decide.

I don't know how your timeshare is divided, but if either of you have more school days than the other, and the schools are relatively similar in quality, some judges would tend to go with the district of the parent with more school days. If you have the same number of school days, then a judge is going to tend to look at the quality of the schools, and whether or not one school or the other's location, schedule etc., would cause an undue hardship to the other parent.

I will give you an example of a real life case. 50/50 timeshare. Mom enrolled the child in a very good school that was not the child's regular school, but an alternate one. What would have been the regular school, in that district, was not a very good one. The two parents lived 3 miles apart, but the school was 5 miles in the opposite direction from Dad.

At first Dad did not make a stink about it because it was a good school. However, it soon proved to be a serious problem because there was no easy route to get to that school, so it took much longer than what 8 miles would normally indicate. In addition the starting and ending time for that school, made it totally impossible to get that child, plus the other children in his home to school on time, and picked up on time.

Mom refused to give in, because she took a hard line that the child needed to go to school in her district. So, Dad had to take it to court. What dad was able to demonstrate, was that the regular school in his district was a decent school, and that the bus stop by his house was on mom's way to work, and that the timing of the school schedule made it very easy for mom to drop the child off and pick the child up at the bus stop.

So, the judge had to choose between a school that was a good school, but totally inconvenient for Dad, and a decent school that caused zero hardship for both parents. Dad of course won on that one. Mom eventually grudgingly agreed that it was better. The other school was a bit inconvenient for mom too, but she was being stubborn at the time.

By the way, this story is about my grandson's father and his child with an ex. My daughter, my grandson's father and my grandkids live with me full time and his other kids are here 50% of the time, so I had a front row view to the whole situation.

 

[_HappyDad_]

We have a 2-2-5-5 schedule.

In your family's case, how was one school proven to be better than the other?

It is worth noting that even in your own story, someone gave in to the other, so as to be reasonable, but they still ended up in Court.

 

[not2cleverRed]

It is impossible to assess my level of cooperation based on a singular situation.

Do you think my EX should just agree to my school district?

What only matters, legally, is will your EX agree.

You have already indicated that she won't, so stop dwelling on would of, could of, should of.

You have a lawyer.

 

[_HappyDad_]

I'm not dwelling on anything. I already know that my EX will never agree to anything I suggest. I'm asking for advice/strategy on how to prepare for a hearing for school district selection.

The response you quoted was my question to LD when she repeatedly suggested I just give in to EX's school district.

I've won nearly every litigated item over the last three years because I follow the advice given by those who walked the path before me. I'm asking for advice once again.

Yes, I have a lawyer. He's suggested some information to collect. I'm asking anyone else who has gone through this to provide what was successful for them, or, conversely, what tactics I should avoid.

Any information I have provided about the EX is to highlight the unreasonable stances she takes.

 

[_HappyDad_]

LdiJ, thank you for providing an example of how a school district can be decided. The information was insightful.

 

[Zigner]

EX and I have 50/50 joint legal and physical of D4. I have remained in the marital home, while EX has moved for the fourth time. D4 has lived her entire (short I know) life in my home.

How is it that you have "50/50 joint ... physical of D4" when D4 has lived her entire life in the house you live in. Do you and mom take turns living in the house? (That's not snarky...some couples do that so that their mutual child has stability.)

 

[_HappyDad_]

No, we are not birds nesting. EX moved out when kiddo was 18 months. I didn't mean to insinuate that D4 spends every night in my home. All of my parenting time has been in the marital home.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ, thank you for providing an example of how a school district can be decided. The information was insightful.

I hoped the example would give you an idea of what a judge would look at, and therefore what information you needed to gather. Public school ratings are normally available online.

 

[_HappyDad_]

Yes, I do have the State School Report Card for each school.

I also have the teaching methods from my school district-- how the students are supported; and what systems are in place to both remediate those who fall behind as well as encourage those who excel.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, I do have the State School Report Card for each school.

I also have the teaching methods from my school district-- how the students are supported; and what systems are in place to both remediate those who fall behind as well as encourage those who excel.

The judge probably won't be too interested in the bolded, unless you have the same type of information about the other school, for comparison. Logistics and potential hardships are going to be important.

 

[t74]

If DD is 4, she is in PreK or K. IMO, a major concern should be before and after school care which varies greatly by district and even schools in the same district since the child should not be going home to empty houses for many years. Be sure to consider the options for the periods during which school is not in session. The continuity of caregivers in these programs is important for many children and most parents.

 

[stealth2]

It is also wise to remember that the School Report Cards are not a "one size fits all" gospel but a guideline. Some kids do really well in lower-rated schools, just as some kids do very poorly in higher-rated ones. Given that the schools are nearly equivalent... they may not matter much at all. That your district has many ESs feeding into large M & HSs may or may not be positive. Some kids do really well in large schools. Some don't. I had one of each. My oldest thrived in a HS w/~400 students/year, and went to a large University. My youngest would have been lost - she went to a small HS (50 kids in her year) and an equally small College.

Point being - even if you "win" - the school disctrict your child ends up attending may or may not be a good fit in 5/7/10 years.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Yes, I do have the State School Report Card for each school.

I also have the teaching methods from my school district-- how the students are supported; and what systems are in place to both remediate those who fall behind as well as encourage those who excel.

I think that more important than these "State School Report Cards" is stability and continuity in a child's education.

I would want to see some sort of commitment from the other parent that once the child starts school, that there not be frequent changes in schools/school districts. Out of district fees can be costly, and switching schools mid-year is difficult for many children.

If there is reason to believe that, based on past behavior and current long term planning (or lack thereof), the other parent is not likely to stay in that school district's boundary lines, it might be possible to argue that it would be in the best interest of the child to be enrolled in your school district.