Does writing "loan" in a check notation prove there was a loan?

[MellieP]

I suspect that even after making all priority claims there is still a balance due to the attorney of 7K. Or, the money has already been spent that might have gone towards priority claims.

Yeah, I wasn't sure. But on the off chance that putting in the claim could have helped, I was willing to forgo my half. It was insane that he turned around and accused me of seeking it for myself. I sent the whole thread to the lawyer. So much for trying to help him.

 

[HRZ]

Stop commenting on helping brother pay the bills run up by executor , your words may get twisted into a claim / agreement to pay , blah blah. The attorney does not work for you , send stuff to the executor, cc the attorney as appropriate .

You are entitled to reimbursement of funeral expenses in the priority set by law and facts, present the bill/claim.

Generally speaking the executors commission. ( probably very small in this case) and the executors costs for attorney come off the top of the pile . Funeral expenses may be next in line, but if the pot is empty, they won't get reimbursed.

You are unwise to put money into a sinking ship just to appease others.

 

[MellieP]

Stop commenting on helping brother pay the bills run up by executor , your words may get twisted into a claim / agreement to pay , blah blah. The attorney does not work for you , send stuff to the executor, cc the attorney as appropriate .

You are entitled to reimbursement of funeral expenses in the priority set by law and facts, present the bill/claim.

Generally speaking the executors commission. ( probably very small in this case) and the executors costs for attorney come off the top of the pile . Funeral expenses may be next in line, but if the pot is empty, they won't get reimbursed.

You are unwise to put money into a sinking ship just to appease others.

I'm trying to make peace because he has all my childhood pictures, the attorney won't demand that he give them to me, and I'm very certain he is going to keep them and tell me "sue me". He said he would split them with me but he keeps deferring any conversation about it. That tells me he's trying to be cruel and keep them. And even if I did sue, which I can't afford to do, he'd probably try to rack up my legal bill by delaying it and delaying it, and then probably say "Whoops, I lost the pictures." He's had plenty of time to scan them, he's just holding them hostage to be cruel.

 

[Zigner]

He's the executor because he lives in MA where my mom lived. I live in CA. He hired his own lawyer to be the estate lawyer. So it was the practical thing. If I had ANY idea that executors are allowed to get away with the crap he has done to me, I would never have agreed to let him be the executor.

What do you think you could/would have done to prevent his appointment?

 

[justalayman]

What do you think you could/would have done to prevent his appointment?

Since it appears the estate is insolvent, walk away

 

[HRZ]

I agree, if estate is insolvent , smile and walk away .

 

[MellieP]

Unfortunately, I can't entirely walk away until I have my photo album back. He said, in writing, that he wants to split it. But I am 100% certain he's going to withhold it from me and challenge me to sue him. That means I'll never get my childhood pictures back.

I guess my only recourse is calling the police, because he stole it from the house without my permission. But I doubt that will yeild results. He is cruel beyond measure.

 

[HRZ]

If the album is solely your property and you can prove it you have a point.....but if the album was your parents with pictures of you in it, it's estate property...either way it's going to be an expensive tug of war and the police will wisely punt. Executor does not need your permission to safeguard estate property ....which I suspect he will claim is status of album

I recommend you submit a prompt written bill for every expense you incurred on behalf of estate and every item Mom promised to pay that you have a witness to back up , orig to executor , cc to Attorney .....and then walk away .

 

[MellieP]

It was my mom's album. Since there was no will, we inherited everything equally. He said I could have the majority of the belongings. I told him the album was missing, he said he took it, and said "No worries, you can have it." Then when he became enraged that I thought he was footing the bill for the attorney, he started playing these games. I asked for the album, he said he's "changed his mind" (which I didn't know he could do) and wants to split it. He keeps deferring any conversation about it, just to hurt me. He doesn't even want the album, this is all to be cruel. I have no choice but to keep asking about it via my Husband, because I'm going to tear the walls down if he keeps my baby/childhood pictures. I cannot handle it. I can't think of anything more cruel. It won't be expensive because there's no point in suing him, as even if I had all the money in the world to do so, he'll just not give the pictures back, and say he "lost" them or they were "destroyed" or something.

I'll submit the paperwork. I have to figure out how to phrase the invoice to say I did this work in exchange for my travel expenses being paid, but I don't' see how they will take that seriously since my mother didn't sign it.

Thanks HRZ, I appreciate your advice.

 

[justalayman]

Anything remaining not being sold would be split equally but it’s his choice who gets what. You wouldn’t wn if you sued him. He has as much right to anything that you do but he choooses how things are divided.

 

[MellieP]

It wouldn't be a problem to divide the album. He can have the pictures of him and I'll take the pictures of me. The problem is he's going to keep everything just to be cruel, even though 50% of it belongs to me.

 

[justalayman]

It wouldn't be a problem to divide the album. He can have the pictures of him and I'll take the pictures of me. The problem is he's going to keep everything just to be cruel, even though 50% of it belongs to me.

But it is his choice as to how it gets split even. You won’t win this if he is dead set on doing this to piss you off. Make your best agreement if any at all is possible and stop.

You are misunderstanding what I said though. Unless the absolute only thing left is the photo album, he can keep it himself if he so chooses and give you something else to make things equal. There is no obligation to actually split the album unless it is the absolute only thing left.

 

[MellieP]

That's insane. So an executor can simply dictate that other heirs will get all the napkins and he can get all the gold? It doesn't have to be agreed upon how things are split?

It is appalling to me how much power Executors have. If I had ever known this I would have never agreed to him being the executor. He is an evil sociopath.

 

[justalayman]

That's insane. So an executor can simply dictate that other heirs will get all the napkins and he can get all the gold? It doesn't have to be agreed upon how things are split?

It is appalling to me how much power Executors have. If I had ever known this I would have never agreed to him being the executor. He is an evil sociopath.

As long as the value of the napkins equals the value of the gold the others have no right to demand anything different. Since personal items have no true market value in many cases, it usually comes down to negotiating the matter but the executor does get the final say.

 

[not2cleverRed]

It wouldn't be a problem to divide the album. He can have the pictures of him and I'll take the pictures of me. The problem is he's going to keep everything just to be cruel, even though 50% of it belongs to me.

You don't get it.

Yes, it would be nice if you two would play nice, and he would give you the photos - photos that probably have no monetary value, so it'd be no skin off his nose. But he's not playing nice, and that's not the sort of thing you sue over successfully. Leave it alone.

Your analogy - napkins versus gold - is silly: gold has a quantifiable value. The photos only have value to you.

You still have your memories of your childhood and pleasant memories of your relationship with your mother. Leave it at that.

Put things into perspective: there were houses exploding into flames in MA this week. Those families may have lost photos in those fires, and irreplaceable keepsakes too. They probably feel lucky if they are alive and uninjured.