Easiest State for a Father Who Wants to Give Up Paternal Rights

[PlaysWithSharks]

Just a note- that might depend on the state- because in my case Dad signed AOP And was on bc from the start but years later part of our court paperwork was establishing paternity. he conceded- no test- but because We weren't married it was required, the is to establish paternity, visitation and child support.

 

[PlaysWithSharks]

sorry that was for Justalayman my quote button didn't work

 

[Ohiogal]

Just a note- that might depend on the state- because in my case Dad signed AOP And was on bc from the start but years later part of our court paperwork was establishing paternity. he conceded- no test- but because We weren't married it was required, the is to establish paternity, visitation and child support.

Establishing paternity is as simple as providing a copy of the AOP to the court and the court recognizing it. It does NOT mean a test is required.

 

[PlaysWithSharks]

Establishing paternity is as simple as providing a copy of the AOP to the court and the court recognizing it. It does NOT mean a test is required.

Oh yes, but what I was trying to say that didn't come through right is that in some states, the aop might not be enough to establish paternity. In mine, further paperwork was required.

 

[justalayman]

Oh yes, but what I was trying to say that didn't come through right is that in some states, the aop might not be enough to establish paternity. In mine, further paperwork was required.

an AOP does establish legal paternity, in every state I am aware of. It does not establish biological paternity. Legal paternity is rebuttable in many cases so, an AOP is enough to establish paternity although depending on the issue, it may be rebuttable.

but I am curious; what state are you speaking of?

 

[abcdefg19]

So you are a liar and want to commit fraud? REALLY? Good grief. You don't get to play musical daddies. This is not a game. You chose him. You are stuck with him. Next time choose better (i.e. don't have sex with someone you can't stand and if you do, make sure you abort the child as then you won't have to deal with the father).

No,Ma'm That is not the case. I honestly think that if a cab driver had brought me to the hospital to have my son, they would've given whatever man arrived with me that AOP. Neither of us had any idea what it was or how important it was and I was in labor, so we just didn't think they were giving us anything but medical documents.

I am sorry if my question offended you and I do not want to commit fraud. I asked the question because simple document, not a test is now very important and I'm not a lawyer. I really didn't understand that someone else that's willing could not just sign it just like my ex did.There was no importance made of it. Like I said, they just gave us a bunch of papers asking me questions about prenatal care and things like this.

As far as breaking up, my boyfriend and I do plan to marry. My ex never wanted this, plus he started out nice but started dating someone else and became abusive. I can't predict the future, but it's my dream and goal to be married for life. Maybe my posts sounded immature, but I really don't know the law. Sorry.

 

[Proserpina]

No,Ma'm That is not the case. I honestly think that if a cab driver had brought me to the hospital to have my son, they would've given whatever man arrived with me that AOP. Neither of us had any idea what it was or how important it was and I was in labor, so we just didn't think they were giving us anything but medical documents.

I am sorry if my question offended you and I do not want to commit fraud. I asked the question because simple document, not a test is now very important and I'm not a lawyer. I really didn't understand that someone else that's willing could not just sign it just like my ex did.There was no importance made of it. Like I said, they just gave us a bunch of papers asking me questions about prenatal care and things like this.

As far as breaking up, my boyfriend and I do plan to marry. My ex never wanted this, plus he started out nice but started dating someone else and became abusive. I can't predict the future, but it's my dream and goal to be married for life. Maybe my posts sounded immature, but I really don't know the law. Sorry.

The thing is, they've really got to wait until you're at least reasonably coherent and able to understand things before they'll even think about the parentage paperwork. And they sure as heck won't do it while you're in labor (can you guess why?).

 

[PlaysWithSharks]

an AOP does establish legal paternity, in every state I am aware of. It does not establish biological paternity. Legal paternity is rebuttable in many cases so, an AOP is enough to establish paternity although depending on the issue, it may be rebuttable.

but I am curious; what state are you speaking of?

Wow, this site hates me. It didn't work yesterday on my phone, I did type more details, so I'm sorry for the confusion, and I just typed a lengthy reply and it didn't post and I'm on a desktop.

I was trying to say that in an unmarried situation, just signing the AOP doesn't give dad legal custody rights. Some unmarried parents don't get that...they might think that because dad is on the bc, he can just come take the child if he should choose to do so. When stepmom took me to court (oops, I mean dad ) there was a form that was necessary to fill out, waiving testing, declaring paternity, and the filing was to establish paternity, custody, and child support. Legally, the AOP was sufficient for the state to have him pay back medicaid costs the first year of birth, but it isn't sufficient for further use as far as custody. The OP might not understand the difference. Actually, I'm positive she does not.

My paperwork was back in 2004, so it could have changed, but since OP won't write the state of birth who knows where she is talking about. I don't believe she didn't know what she was signing...how on earth did Dad's name get on the forms if she was just handed a mysterious pile of papers to sign? I hate when people play musical daddies...I was adopted by my stepdad in 5th grade. I do have a good relationship with my bio but that whole situation sucked. My daughter has had my husband as step since she was 2, I never tried to replace dad even when he was less than stellar. Adoption is misused in many of these cases and it can devastate a child to know that their parent signed them away like they were a car with transmission problems to someone else because it was too much trouble to deal with.

I had a lot more to say but I'm tired of typing, this is my 5th attempt and I'm giving up, lol.

 

[justalayman]

Now you are bringing in another issue sharkie. Custody is an entirely different animal but still, yes, the AOP does establish legal paternity for the purposes of a custody matter. A court does not ignore the AOP but accepts it as establishing legal paternity unless somebody disputes it.

In other words,'

Unmarried couple
AOP signed
Custody and visits too matter before the court


Court is not going of order a DNA test unless somebody is disputing paternity. Even then there are limitations as to what a court will order.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow, this site hates me. It didn't work yesterday on my phone, I did type more details, so I'm sorry for the confusion, and I just typed a lengthy reply and it didn't post and I'm on a desktop.

I was trying to say that in an unmarried situation, just signing the AOP doesn't give dad legal custody rights. Some unmarried parents don't get that...they might think that because dad is on the bc, he can just come take the child if he should choose to do so. When stepmom took me to court (oops, I mean dad ) there was a form that was necessary to fill out, waiving testing, declaring paternity, and the filing was to establish paternity, custody, and child support. Legally, the AOP was sufficient for the state to have him pay back medicaid costs the first year of birth, but it isn't sufficient for further use as far as custody. The OP might not understand the difference. Actually, I'm positive she does not.

My paperwork was back in 2004, so it could have changed, but since OP won't write the state of birth who knows where she is talking about. I don't believe she didn't know what she was signing...how on earth did Dad's name get on the forms if she was just handed a mysterious pile of papers to sign? I hate when people play musical daddies...I was adopted by my stepdad in 5th grade. I do have a good relationship with my bio but that whole situation sucked. My daughter has had my husband as step since she was 2, I never tried to replace dad even when he was less than stellar. Adoption is misused in many of these cases and it can devastate a child to know that their parent signed them away like they were a car with transmission problems to someone else because it was too much trouble to deal with.

I had a lot more to say but I'm tired of typing, this is my 5th attempt and I'm giving up, lol.

Adoption can also be one of the most selfless you can do for a child. And no child should EVER have to feel like a "car".

If that's what the child actually thinks, then their adoptive parents shouldn't be in custody of anything more complex than a carrot.

Why? Because good parents would never allow that to happen.

End. Of. Story.

 

[CJane]

The thing is, they've really got to wait until you're at least reasonably coherent and able to understand things before they'll even think about the parentage paperwork. And they sure as heck won't do it while you're in labor (can you guess why?).

Aside from the fact that they're not "handing out" the AOP paperwork as part of a packet requesting information about prenatal care and the like - they don't just "hand it out" anyway. It is brought in by a social worker, along with the form to file for a birth certificate. Both are explained in great detail, and require the signatures of BOTH parents (if both parents are to be on the BC). Neither Dad nor Mom can sign in a vacuum. They are, in fact, the ONLY documents that will be presented at the time of birth (NOT at the time of LABOR ) which require the signature of both parties. Everything MEDICAL only requires Mom's signature, because she's the only patient.

 

[Proserpina]

Aside from the fact that they're not "handing out" the AOP paperwork as part of a packet requesting information about prenatal care and the like - they don't just "hand it out" anyway. It is brought in by a social worker, along with the form to file for a birth certificate. Both are explained in great detail, and require the signatures of BOTH parents (if both parents are to be on the BC). Neither Dad nor Mom can sign in a vacuum. They are, in fact, the ONLY documents that will be presented at the time of birth (NOT at the time of LABOR ) which require the signature of both parties. Everything MEDICAL only requires Mom's signature, because she's the only patient.

But...but...you mean they're not standing like a goal-keeper down by your nether regions ready to pounce on New Parent the very second Junior tries out his lungs?!

Say it ain't so!

 

[not2cleverRed]

Bolds are mine.

No,Ma'm That is not the case. I honestly think that if a cab driver had brought me to the hospital to have my son, they would've given whatever man arrived with me that AOP. Neither of us had any idea what it was or how important it was and I was in labor, so we just didn't think they were giving us anything but medical documents.

I am sorry if my question offended you and I do not want to commit fraud. I asked the question because simple document, not a test is now very important and I'm not a lawyer. I really didn't understand that someone else that's willing could not just sign it just like my ex did.There was no importance made of it. Like I said, they just gave us a bunch of papers asking me questions about prenatal care and things like this.

As far as breaking up, my boyfriend and I do plan to marry. My ex never wanted this, plus he started out nice but started dating someone else and became abusive. I can't predict the future, but it's my dream and goal to be married for life. Maybe my posts sounded immature, but I really don't know the law. Sorry.

You've asked, people have answered.

Planning to marry is different from being married. Until you actually get married, he is only a boyfriend, not a husband. So when's the wedding date? Not this Saturday, I suspect.

Furthermore, you would be surprised how many Dads suddenly become interested in their child(ren) when asked to give up their parental rights.

So, get married to your boyfriend, wait a year, and then return with your questions about stepparent adoption.

 

[justalayman]

And to whom they would have given the AOP:

They give it to whomever you claim to be the father. You and he both read it and sign it, if appropriate so unless you told the hospital staff the taxi driver was the father, no, they aren't going to give it to the taxi driver

 

[PlaysWithSharks]

Adoption can also be one of the most selfless you can do for a child. And no child should EVER have to feel like a "car".

If that's what the child actually thinks, then their adoptive parents shouldn't be in custody of anything more complex than a carrot.

Why? Because good parents would never allow that to happen.

End. Of. Story.

You know, I actually did mention how great adoption CAN be...in one of the replies that deleted itself, lol. I'm only referring to the "dad wants to sign away his rights" mentality...I just hate these threads. I should stop reading them.

As far as my adoption, at first I thought it was because my stepdad just loved me a lot. As a teen I realized my dad was sick of dealing with the issues and paying child support, and his wife didn't like me, so that is why he allowed me to be adopted. Sucky feeling. No one told me that, I just figured it out. Now, as an adult, I can see further than that...there were more reasons...but it hurts when you think your parent doesn't want you, after being a parent to you for so long. I went from visiting my dad weekly to not seeing him for over a year to him giving me to another man to raise. That blows. My Mom now admits she should have handled it differently.