Ex wife now threatening to go back for sole custody

[kimberlywrites]

I have to say, this sounds like a case of the ex-wife trying to make everyone as miserable as she is.
I agree with what other posters are saying - get the daybed (Good move, dad!) and let the ex carry on with her ridiculous rantings. In fact, you should welcome a chance for her to be in court so a judge can blast her for being so ridiculous. Maybe that will calm her down some.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Just got off the phone with him. He is taking her to get a day bed right now.

I know you were upset by my comments, but your bf has seen the wisdom in them. Because like it or not that is how people think, now you will blow a big hole in her sails and she will still be upset but won't have any grounds to complain but what is more important is that the little girl will have a proper place to sleep and shopping for it with daddy will be better than a play date. She will be gushing for weeks. Then if and or when dad moves and his daughter has her own room, she already has a bed of her very own and will feel comfortable, also a chance to decorate the room, more bonding time. That move will also make mom upset too, so be prepared. But the day bed cost's less than the attorney and a lot more fun to shop than to sit in a conference room discussing legal strategy.

 

[worriedIL]

Well i just spoke w/ an attny. He was laughing. He said dont waste the money on getting a lawyer until you get the motion. Which you will probably never get because her lawyer would be a fool to try to get custody over those reasons. He said nothing can be changed for 2 years. And since my bf was living in the condo w/ his brother during the divorce, she still agreed to the Joint parenting agreement, knowing his living situation. And there is nothing in the papers that says she's required to have her own bed. WHich like i said we are getting today anyways. He said to keep all her messages just in case. He also said no judge would stand for what she's saying and would send her right out of his court room. I feel so relieved!

 

[LdiJ]

Well i just spoke w/ an attny. He was laughing. He said dont waste the money on getting a lawyer until you get the motion. Which you will probably never get because her lawyer would be a fool to try to get custody over those reasons. He said nothing can be changed for 2 years. And since my bf was living in the condo w/ his brother during the divorce, she still agreed to the Joint parenting agreement, knowing his living situation. And there is nothing in the papers that says she's required to have her own bed. WHich like i said we are getting today anyways. He said to keep all her messages just in case. He also said no judge would stand for what she's saying and would send her right out of his court room. I feel so relieved!

But still get the daybed....that just helps make it even more ridiculous.

 

[casa]

My kids each have their own bed...and would sleep on the floor or fold out couch every single night if they had a choice. The love when cousins or friends come over~ They get to camp out on the floor.

 

[VA_Mom]

I don't even see what the big deal is about having seperate rooms as someone posted. Two children sleeping in the same room is not a big enough deal to fight about custody.

 

[casa]

I don't even see what the big deal is about having seperate rooms as someone posted. Two children sleeping in the same room is not a big enough deal to fight about custody.

Depending on their age (puberty)...it certainly could be.

 

[proudstepmom]

And why should she? Sounds like poor planning on your part more than it sounds like she's being a b*tch. My ex planned his wedding/reception/family reunion weekend (all combined) for not just my weekend, but a HOLIDAY weekend. As soon as he told me about it, I told him that I sincerely hoped he hadn't sent the invites yet because he'd known for going on two years that was my weekend. He changed his plans.

Normally, we manage to swap stuff around, but we both know that neither of us is obligated to do so.

You're right, she is not obligated to let them go when it is her week. As far as bad planning goes, my aunts planned the shower for me. I didn't have anything to do with it. A good reason why she should have let stepdaughter go is because stepdaughter wanted to go. Her mom lied to her and told her it would just be a bunch of adults sitting in a circle talking and it would be boring. After stepdaughter found out what it was really like, she said she would have rather been there. When biomom got remarried , my husband let the kids go to the wedding related events because it would have hurt them to miss out on it just b/c he doesn't like her. Also, whenever her family has something going on during his week, he lets them go. He doesn't want them to miss out on seeing their family and have the kids resent him later on in life.

 

[worriedIL]

The issue was that there was no bed for the child. The mother was saying this is required by law, which it's not. She wasn't happy about the fact that the 6 year old would sleep in his bed, w/ him sometimes, w/out him sometimes etc. The point was she's threatening to get sole custody but we realize now what she's saying has no validity. He just asked her what business she had having a married man sleeping over when their daughter was there and she told him it was none of his business. She's just one of these sick deranged women that freak out when they lose all control. I can't imagine what her new husband to be's CURRENT wife thinks of her. Either way, he's not going to let her back him into corners anymore, it's ridiculous and she can't do anything and thats what i came here to find out.

 

[worriedIL]

You're right, she is not obligated to let them go when it is her week. As far as bad planning goes, my aunts planned the shower for me. I didn't have anything to do with it. A good reason why she should have let stepdaughter go is because stepdaughter wanted to go. Her mom lied to her and told her it would just be a bunch of adults sitting in a circle talking and it would be boring. After stepdaughter found out what it was really like, she said she would have rather been there. When biomom got remarried , my husband let the kids go to the wedding related events because it would have hurt them to miss out on it just b/c he doesn't like her. Also, whenever her family has something going on during his week, he lets them go. He doesn't want them to miss out on seeing their family and have the kids resent him later on in life.

Your husband is a good man. Good for him, finally someone else seeing the "BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD HERE". The sad part is when everythings said and done these kids are all gonna see what their mothers/fathers are really about. To be honest, it bothers me to think that my bf's daughter will probably have resentment towards her mother, she already does. They have screaming and fighting matches like they are 16 years old. It's not right. That is her mother and there is no bond like it.

 

[VA_Mom]

Depending on their age (puberty)...it certainly could be.

Sorry I didn't mean that old. I was talking about preschool and in some instances, elementary age.

 

[VA_Mom]

The issue was that there was no bed for the child. The mother was saying this is required by law, which it's not. She wasn't happy about the fact that the 6 year old would sleep in his bed, w/ him sometimes, w/out him sometimes etc. The point was she's threatening to get sole custody but we realize now what she's saying has no validity. He just asked her what business she had having a married man sleeping over when their daughter was there and she told him it was none of his business. She's just one of these sick deranged women that freak out when they lose all control. I can't imagine what her new husband to be's CURRENT wife thinks of her. Either way, he's not going to let her back him into corners anymore, it's ridiculous and she can't do anything and thats what i came here to find out.

That is quite messy to be involved with a married man. I'm sure biomom wouldn't want that brought out in court.

 

[proudstepmom]

Your husband is a good man. Good for him, finally someone else seeing the "BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD HERE". The sad part is when everythings said and done these kids are all gonna see what their mothers/fathers are really about. To be honest, it bothers me to think that my bf's daughter will probably have resentment towards her mother, she already does. They have screaming and fighting matches like they are 16 years old. It's not right. That is her mother and there is no bond like it.

Thank you so much. There aren't many people who understand. Your bf's daughter will resent her mother, but you are right, that is her mother and they have a special bond. My stepkids resent their mom and are hurt by a lot of the selfish things she does/says. However, I understand that she is their mother and know one can take her place. I don't know how anyone wouldn't understand that.

 

[casa]

Sorry I didn't mean that old. I was talking about preschool and in some instances, elementary age.

In that case, I agree. That's why some state laws aren't always necessarily the 'be all and end all' in cases. Each situation is unique.