what stealth2 said is right on. you win by showing yourself to be the best equipped parent. from my experience, the judge will go with whatever the guardian ad litem and the case worker say. thats who you need to impress. you may know this already, but just in case.. when they come to evaluate your home it should be clean, you should have your child's room set up, have food, things like that.. it should look like you are ready to receive a child any time. It does not help if it looks like bachelor pad, or if you live witha bunch of dude room-mates. If you are requesting full custody, you have to have a plan for where your child will stay while you are at work. You have to show fore thought.. It helps if you can show that you have a support network too, of realiable relatives or family friends that can be of assistance in a emergency. You dont have to bad-mouth your ex, but you can voice your concerns regarding her mental state, her psychiatric conditions, and that for that reason you want to make sure that you secure liberal access to you children and have every opportunity to provide a postive environment for them. That while recognizing the importance of their mother you feel like you are more financially and emotionally stabel to provide what they need as well as support them in their relationship with the other parent.