Father Needs Help

[LdiJ]

stealth- in this situation, even without a paternity test, he has stipulated for the past 14 years that he is the father and mom has not contested (I assume) doesn't that make him the legal father?

Depends on whether or not he is at least on the BC. Odds are though that paternity was established when child support was set. Its kind of unlikely (since the are in communication) that mom wouldn't have established child support.

 

[Zephyr]

thanks for the clarification LdiJ

are you wanting to send the kid to a military school?

 

[taffies]

Spend Time

How long has the kiddo been living with Mom? What sort of time do you spend with him?

He has lived with his mom all his life. I spend a lot of time I get him every summer all summer and on weekends when ever he wants or I want.....

 

[Zephyr]

do you and mom live near each other?

 

[taffies]

Test

thanks for the clarification LdiJ

are you wanting to send the kid to a military school?

Yes I pay child support and I'm up to date with it, no its not a military school It Roman Catholic it has a great basketball team and football and he wants to go there to play on both...

 

[taffies]

No

do you and mom live near each other?

No we don't live near each other will this be a problem? Do you think I will be able to have him during the school yr so that I know he gets to school everday and she gets him in the summer?

 

[Zephyr]

do you or mom live near the school?

 

[Zephyr]

I think the fact that you don't live near one another will make it difficult for you to take physical custody as you will be taking the child from his long time primary caregiver. He is 14 and the judge may consider what he wants as well. did he ask to go to this school?


He told me his mom does it also, but I can't prove that so it will be my word against hers right?

you have no proof of this at all? that would have been the strongest reason to switch custody, otherwise what good reason does the judge have for overturning an arrangement that has been working for all this time?

 

[LdiJ]

I think the fact that you don't live near one another will make it difficult for you to take physical custody as you will be taking the child from his long time primary caregiver. He is 14 and the judge may consider what he wants as well. did he ask to go to this school?


He told me his mom does it also, but I can't prove that so it will be my word against hers right?

you have no proof of this at all? that would have been the strongest reason to switch custody, otherwise what good reason does the judge have for overturning an arrangement that has been working for all this time?

The child's education could be a reason. The child getting into trouble and the benefits of changing his environment could also be a reason.

 

[stealth2]

Gosh, I feel like we're pulling teeth here.

So, if I've got this straight..... The kid is 14, you and Mom were never married, but support has been set and he's lived with Mom all his life. Mom uses drugs (according to the kid), but you have no proof. Kid has gotten in trouble for drugs. He'd like to change schools so he can play football/basketball. Mom doesn't agree.

Is there no sports program at his current school? Is he that outstanding that he needs a better program for scholarship opportunities after HS?

 

[taffies]

He does

I think the fact that you don't live near one another will make it difficult for you to take physical custody as you will be taking the child from his long time primary caregiver. He is 14 and the judge may consider what he wants as well. did he ask to go to this school?


He told me his mom does it also, but I can't prove that so it will be my word against hers right?

you have no proof of this at all? that would have been the strongest reason to switch custody, otherwise what good reason does the judge have for overturning an arrangement that has been working for all this time?

Yes he does want to go to this school...physical meaning he may not be able to live with me? Even though I know mom is not going to get him to the school she give him money for token when she feels like it he can't walk to this new school and the walk to his old school is far but he does it at times...

 

[LdiJ]

Yes he does want to go to this school...physical meaning he may not be able to live with me? Even though I know mom is not going to get him to the school she give him money for token when she feels like it he can't walk to this new school and the walk to his old school is far but he does it at times...

You are simply making this too hard for us. You aren't giving the information that you need to give.

Exactly how far is your home from mom's home? (miles?). Exactly how far is this school from mom's home? (miles)

When you are talking about "tokens" are you talking about public transportation tokens? Could your son live at mom's and go to this school if someone provides him with transportation tokens?

Please just tell us the entire story, with details, so that you can get decent advice....stop making us pull all of the information out of you.

 

[taffies]

Yes

Also - what are the advantages to the new school? Are you legally the father?

I am the legal father test taken at birth. advantages are its a great school and they have a great basketball and football team that he wants to play on...he has passed the test for the school and has been accepted already for next yr....

 

[Zephyr]

The child's education could be a reason. The child getting into trouble and the benefits of changing his environment could also be a reason.

I totally agree with this, but mom could just as easily say all teenagers go through their rebellion and experiments, he's been good since.

I am thinking the "new school" is probably pretty close to dad.

 

[stealth2]

I am the legal father test taken at birth. advantages are its a great school and they have a great basketball and football team that he wants to play on...he has passed the test for the school and has been accepted already for next yr....

Did anyone discuss this with Mom prior to applying?