Father Needs Help

[taffies]

Yes

What's more important? Your son getting to go to this school...this coming school year, or you getting primary custody?

Because at this point...since you didn't start the case months ago, you really don't have the time to push through a full fledged custody case. Your best hope is to get mom to agree to something in mediation. She is NOT going to agree to give you primary custody. You already know that.

So....you file for primary custody and then negotiate it down to 50/50.

Okay that sounds good , could I ask for him to be with me during school yr and summer she gets him and say while in mediation in front of everyone if she really cares she should want him to attend a good school?

 

[LdiJ]

Okay that sounds good , could I ask for him to be with me during school yr and summer she gets him and say while mediation in fron ot everyone if she really cares she should want him to attend a good school?

You can of course try....but after that scene she raised before I sincerely doubt that you will get her to agree.

 

[stealth2]

If he lives with Mom (see LDi's post above), you will still owe support. As for tuition - I am assuming he currently attends a public school. That's the status quo. If you decide to send him to private school and Mom doesn't agree, it is entirely likely that the burden of tuition will be on you. If she chose to send him to private school and you didn't agree, it would be on her.

 

[taffies]

Okay?

You can of course try....but after that scene she raised before I sincerely doubt that you will get her to agree.

So I should just really try to show how good the school will be for him and that he wants to attend the school aslo?

 

[stealth2]

Okay that sounds good , could I ask for him to be with me during school yr and summer she gets him and say while in mediation in front of everyone if she really cares she should want him to attend a good school?

And that would be purely your opinion. Has your son been raised in the Catholic Church? She may have perfectly valid objections that she'll raise in mediation as well. So far, I haven't seen a great deal that makes this a slamdunk.

 

[taffies]

Both

If he lives with Mom (see LDi's post above), you will still owe support. As for tuition - I am assuming he currently attends a public school. That's the status quo. If you decide to send him to private school and Mom doesn't agree, it is entirely likely that the burden of tuition will be on you. If she chose to send him to private school and you didn't agree, it would be on her.

Before the test we both agreed this school ws good but now of course things are different but ok I understand I guess really its a no win situation really for men but I'm going to try for my son...

 

[taffies]

To Be Honest

And that would be purely your opinion. Has your son been raised in the Catholic Church? She may have perfectly valid objections that she'll raise in mediation as well. So far, I haven't seen a great deal that makes this a slamdunk.

You have been knocking down everything I have said, he has no religion, what can I say in there that will be valid raise something.... is there anything I can say? So the way your saying it I don't see a slam dunk either if there is nothing that will be listened to in there but as I said I'm going for this for my son....no matter what...

 

[stealth2]

Well, you can expect Mom to knock down everything you say, as well - you may as well come up with ways to counter it here rather than in court or mediation.

 

[Zephyr]

stealth isn't knocking down what you're saying to be nasty, mom is going to say all of that and more, it's called going in with your eyes open

 

[taffies]

Thank you

stealth isn't knocking down what you're saying to be nasty, mom is going to say all of that and more, it's called going in with your eyes open

Your right I'm just so upset about it all

 

[taffies]

Your right

Well, you can expect Mom to knock down everything you say, as well - you may as well come up with ways to counter it here rather than in court or mediation.

Thank you any suggestions?

 

[BL]

Thank you any suggestions?

Proof is in the pudding , or um Facts . and who is most respectable in the Court House . Dude settle a good deal , that you can stick to . If Mom retains Custody , pay the Court Ordered bills , and what ever else you want to .

Let me tell ya a story !! My X wanted " total " custody . Wanted All the abusers to adopt my Children , and marry them ( yes one after the other ) . She ( no animosity toward the either male nor female ) , took off and absconded with my Kids against me , Too bad I didn't know the federal Laws then . Missed growing up with my children from a young age .

 

[stealth2]

Figure out what it is that is the most important to you/your son's welfare. I'd focus on the educational advantages the new school offers, as well as the possibility to play in a top sports program which may provide opportunities for him after HS (college scholarships!). That the change will also remove him from the element which led him to get into trouble. His mother's use/non-use is moot since you have no proof. Suggest the week on/week off arrangement as a boy that age needs an involved father and you'd like to provide that more consistently w/o taking him away from Mom. Focus on how you would like to work WITH Mom to keep your son on the right track through his teen years.

 

[taffies]

Hello

Figure out what it is that is the most important to you/your son's welfare. I'd focus on the educational advantages the new school offers, as well as the possibility to play in a top sports program which may provide opportunities for him after HS (college scholarships!). That the change will also remove him from the element which led him to get into trouble. His mother's use/non-use is moot since you have no proof. Suggest the week on/week off arrangement as a boy that age needs an involved father and you'd like to provide that more consistently w/o taking him away from Mom. Focus on how you would like to work WITH Mom to keep your son on the right track through his teen years.

Thank you very much ...

 

[casa]

Proof is in the pudding , or um Facts . and who is most respectable in the Court House . Dude settle a good deal , that you can stick to . If Mom retains Custody , pay the Court Ordered bills , and what ever else you want to .

Let me tell ya a story !! My X wanted " total " custody . Wanted All the abusers to adopt my Children , and marry them ( yes one after the other ) . She ( no animosity toward the either male nor female ) , took off and absconded with my Kids against me , Too bad I didn't know the federal Laws then . Missed growing up with my children from a young age .

Wow. Did you eventually get to have at least joint custody of your children?