Fiance threatened to "take me before a judge" during an argument over money. Bluff?

[lexiedavid99]

You are absolutely correct. I'm going to get out. I will do all that was posted here to take precautions. I just wonder what is wrong with me internally that allows me to have these reservations. It seems so easy to those on the outside.... but it seems so hard and impossible for me.
What's wrong with me?

And that is all part of the abuse. Of course he hates it when you go to the therapist - you might learn that you're not the one at fault and that he is.

You have your legal answers. I can't make you follow the advice but there's really no point taking this any further if you're just going to ignore them.

Personally, I'd rather be alone than in a relationship that makes me question my own worth.

 

[LdiJ]

You are absolutely correct. I'm going to get out. I will do all that was posted here to take precautions. I just wonder what is wrong with me internally that allows me to have these reservations. It seems so easy to those on the outside.... but it seems so hard and impossible for me.
What's wrong with me?

It IS often very hard. Its often hard because when its good with those people it can be VERY good. However, nine times out of ten its due to low self esteem, and getting yourself into counseling to understand WHY its hard for you, specifically is a good way to resolve the problem and make better choices going forward.

One of the most difficult situations is the man or woman who just won't go. Maybe you have children together and you are afraid of the future, maybe the only way to get them out is an eviction or a restraining order and you hesitate to mess up their life with one of those.

However, in your case its appears that you have little excuse. You are perfectly capable of supporting yourself, you do not share any children with him and you sure as heck don't need him for ANYTHING.

Get out and get counseling so that you are not tempted to go back again.

 

[cbg]

I'm glad to hear it! Lexie, let us know how it goes. As I said earlier - we do care. I accept PM's if you don't want to post publicly.

 

[cbg]

It IS often very hard. Its often hard because when its good with those people it can be VERY good. However, nine times out of ten its due to low self esteem, and getting yourself into counseling to understand WHY its hard for you, specifically is a good way to resolve the problem and make better choices going forward.

One of the most difficult situations is the man or woman who just won't go. Maybe you have children together and you are afraid of the future, maybe the only way to get them out is an eviction or a restraining order and you hesitate to mess up their life with one of those.

However, in your case its appears that you have little excuse. You are perfectly capable of supporting yourself, you do not share any children with him and you sure as heck don't need him for ANYTHING.

Get out and get counseling so that you are not tempted to go back again.

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[Shadowbunny]

I apologize, I know this is for a relationship forum which this IS NOT. But, how does one do this--when part of them wants to stay....worries they won't find anyone else better...and will regret leaving?

I have gone to a therapist...of course HE hates when I go... because he knows I get advice. He says if "she only had 5 min with me she would know how impossible youare ...or why all of this happened... you are a professional storyteller/sob story queen"

So ... I haven't gone in awhile and I do question if I have fault here...maybe it can be fixed. He sure as heck thinks it's me....

I know it's not easy. But you do it by simply doing it.

And being by yourself is INFINITELY better than being with someone who treats you like crap. Someone who steals from you, gaslights you, puts you down, and makes you doubt your own self worth.


You may not find anyone else better -- but you'll never know if you don't get away from him.

You've been given solid advice here, and (hopefully) by your therapist. But no one can make you follow that advice.

I wish you the best.

 

[Just Blue]

I know it's not easy. But you do it by simply doing it.

And being by yourself is INFINITELY better than being with someone who treats you like crap. Someone who steals from you, gaslights you, puts you down, and makes you doubt your own self worth.


You may not find anyone else better -- but you'll never know if you don't get away from him.

You've been given solid advice here, and (hopefully) by your therapist. But no one can make you follow that advice.

I wish you the best.

She could likely find someone better in a heartbeat. Bet you dollars to doughnuts that the current bf will start to beat her within the year.

 

[gryndor]

She could likely find someone better in a heartbeat. Bet you dollars to doughnuts that the current bf will start to beat her within the year.

This. I lived it OP, and getting out was hard but I am SO glad I’m out of that miserable situation. Did you say you had a kiddo? Because this WILL escalate to physical violence and do you really want this person taking money away from your little one? Do you really want that kid to see him smacking you around? Because that’s your future with this guy. Once he can’t control you any other way, he will use the kid against you...

Do it for your kiddo if you can’t do it for yourself.