Giving up parental rights

[HFD35761]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I became a parent when I was a teenager. Young lust. Same song and dance.
Mother has primary custody. I have seen the child on occasion, who is now 11, though not very often due to my work, and most recently because of National Guard deployment in Iraq. I have been home from the Middle East for 5 months now.

The child's mother has since gotten married and now her and her husband want full custody. I have received a legal letter asking for me to give up parental rights or release me from any further support payments...etc

I owe a few grand in back support. The papers I was served made no mention of release from back support money due, just future support. I am seriously considering releasing my rights, as I do think it would be better for the child, and yes I'll say, myself as well.

The Question: Since there was no mention of release from back outstanding support, should I presume that money will still be owed if I was to give up parental rights?


Thanks for any advice-

 

[stealth2]

Yep - back support will still be owed. Future support (as of the official adoption date) won't.

 

[MrsK]

Yep - back support will still be owed. Future support (as of the official adoption date) won't.

Since mom wants him to let stepdad adopt, you COULD consider telling mom you'll sign the papers if she forgives these arrears. Unless she was on welfare (because then you may owe the state) she should be able to do this, and then you should have no future support payments, no arrears, and no rights to the child.

Good luck.

 

[ceara19]

Since mom wants him to let stepdad adopt, you COULD consider telling mom you'll sign the papers if she forgives these arrears. Unless she was on welfare (because then you may owe the state) she should be able to do this, and then you should have no future support payments, no arrears, and no rights to the child.

Good luck.

Are you suggesting that he SELL his child?

 

[justalayman]

Are you suggesting that he SELL his child?

Effectively, yes, but what is truly wrong with this. Ultimately all win in this situation. The two bio parents will never have to have any dealings with each other again, isn;t that worth the forgiveness of a couple bucks??

The lack of tension winthin the childs home would be worth it to me. While the OP really should pay the cash, I believe the best interests of the child would be better served by the forgiving of the back support if it will expedite the adoption.

 

[sebrun]

I would have to agree if the father does not want to be a dad to the child and there is a person who does then get the papers signed already, and chances are he would never pay the arrears anyway or he woulda paid them to begin with - so just tell your babies momma you'll sign if they add the arrears, but as the other person said if she was getting welfare or tanif then you owe the state and they will get their money, i hear they can squeeze blood out of a turnip in some states

 

[ceara19]

Effectively, yes, but what is truly wrong with this. Ultimately all win in this situation. The two bio parents will never have to have any dealings with each other again, isn;t that worth the forgiveness of a couple bucks??

The lack of tension winthin the childs home would be worth it to me. While the OP really should pay the cash, I believe the best interests of the child would be better served by the forgiving of the back support if it will expedite the adoption.

It's not the act of forgiving the arrears that bothers me. If MOM makes this offer, the OP should jump on it if that is what he wants. But DAD has no right to try and blackmail mom.

 

[justalayman]

It's not the act of forgiving the arrears that bothers me. If MOM makes this offer, the OP should jump on it if that is what he wants. But DAD has no right to try and blackmail mom.

I understand your point of view. With all of the things that go on in the world, I just feel this is not that big of a deal and, as I posted earlier, may expedite the child adoption. This should be the main goal of all concerned.

I agree that if it comes down to a " forgive the debt or I will not sign" thing, it is a sign of a greedy good for nothing, have no respect for your child, money is everthing and my child is actually meaningless, SOB that needs his rear kicked, and he would definately be in the wrong.

Better??

I am just for the quickest way to effect the transfer of parentage, especially at the age of 11. The child, if this is eventually going to happen, would be best served if it happened ASAP. Two grand is not enough money for me to put my child through anything uneccessary that could concievably be damaging to them.

I have no real problem with dad asking, but I would have a problem with dad insisting.

 

[Halls]

It's not the act of forgiving the arrears that bothers me. If MOM makes this offer, the OP should jump on it if that is what he wants. But DAD has no right to try and blackmail mom.

I actually agree and I know that here in Texas arrears going through the AOG's office do not have to be forgiven if a steparent adopts the child. I'm not sure what it is like in every state, but I think arrears should be paid regardless.

 

[stealth2]

I actually agree and I know that here in Texas arrears going through the AOG's office do not have to be forgiven if a steparent adopts the child. I'm not sure what it is like in every state, but I think arrears should be paid regardless.

They don't HAVE to be forgiven in any state.

 

[GrowUp!]

It's not the act of forgiving the arrears that bothers me. If MOM makes this offer, the OP should jump on it if that is what he wants. But DAD has no right to try and blackmail mom.

"Blackmail"?? C'mon Ceara...you're smarter than that. Unfortunately, the whole "system" is about bargaining.

 

[ceara19]

"Blackmail"?? C'mon Ceara...you're smarter than that. Unfortunately, the whole "system" is about bargaining.

There's a difference between bargaining and assigning an actual dollar amount to your child. If the OP wants nothing to do with his child from this point on, so be it. But he doesn't have the right to try and demand that the arrears be erased in exchange.

 

[JenniK]

Arrears

In most states, if the court ordered child support, you must pay it. In arrears or not. If/when the adoption goes through, you no longer have to pay child support. But if you want to be 'pardoned' for the arrears, you most likely will have to get an attorney. Usually when there are court ordered payments, in arrears or not, you have to appeal to the court to get them stopped or the 'arrears excused'. Whether or not the mother has been or is on tanif or any kind of state aid.
I don't know about the laws in your state, but for Nebraska and Montana, the arrears is still owed unless the court decides 'not'. I didn't want anything from my little girls father, but once it was ordered from the court, there is no way the payments stop until she turns 18. He has no contact with her, by his choice, but the child support continues. But by the time she is 18, she will have enough for college. After all, it's her money.
Good luck with your situation.

 

[ceara19]

In most states, if the court ordered child support, you must pay it. In arrears or not. If/when the adoption goes through, you no longer have to pay child support. But if you want to be 'pardoned' for the arrears, you most likely will have to get an attorney. Usually when there are court ordered payments, in arrears or not, you have to appeal to the court to get them stopped or the 'arrears excused'. Whether or not the mother has been or is on tanif or any kind of state aid.
I don't know about the laws in your state, but for Nebraska and Montana, the arrears is still owed unless the court decides 'not'. I didn't want anything from my little girls father, but once it was ordered from the court, there is no way the payments stop until she turns 18. He has no contact with her, by his choice, but the child support continues. But by the time she is 18, she will have enough for college. After all, it's her money.
Good luck with your situation.

The court doesn't decide whether or not to forgive the arrears. That is at the complete discression of the parent owed the support.

 

[JenniK]

I guess it depends on which state you live in. I didn't want it from my ex, and was told it wasn't up for me to decide. It was my childs money, not mine. I even tried to fight it. But there was nothing I could do, and it was up to the court to decide if he had to pay the arrears....which they still made him pay.

The court doesn't decide whether or not to forgive the arrears. That is at the complete discression of the parent owed the support.