Going to court for Post Separation Support

[tyandi]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

I would like your advice because tomorrow i am going to court to decide on post separation support. My wife is sueing me for $1500 a month support.

My question: At the end of every month I am barely making rent, payments etc.. I have had to put some living expenses on my credit card. I am paying our marital debt on our credit cards, and only net $2200 / month. Here is the kicker, she has not worked in 6 months, her parents are giving her money, she bought a $1800 labradoodle puppy, spent $3500 in three weeks while living in Naples Florida for two months on fine dining, clothes, and hair.
She is 34, we have no kids, she is a very healthy non smoker, we have been married 15 years.

Tell me, what kind of negotiations will I expect tomorrow? I literally have nothing to give her at the end of the month?
Please help.

tyandi

 

[nextwife]

She has ONLY not worked for six months?

Why does she need alimony if she has current job skills?

 

[tyandi]

She has worked

She has barely worked through 15 years of marriage, but she had a job but quit it 6 months ago.

She helped me in my business from time to time. She has never had a full time job.

Niether of us have collage educations

 

[Bali Hai]

She has barely worked through 15 years of marriage, but she had a job but quit it 6 months ago.

She helped me in my business from time to time. She has never had a full time job.

Niether of us have collage educations

The judge will see that as your fault.

You should have dumped her lazy @ss years ago.

 

[tyandi]

Watch your mouth

Please keep this professional, perhaps you need to read my thread a little closer.

 

[IrishLady47]

Since she is not working by CHOICE, you should certainly request an income be imputed to her. Based on her prior work experience, what could she make if working full-time? If there still is a large difference between what she could make and what you are currently making, please don't forget to factor in that YOU are paying all the marital debt, 50% of that is also her responsibility. Do you have an attorney or are you representing yourself?

Personally, I think a healthy, 34 yo woman should not get ANY spousal support, and should have the self-respect not to even want it. But, stick to the facts when presenting your case.

 

[nextwife]

Since she is not working by CHOICE, you should certainly request an income be imputed to her. Based on her prior work experience, what could she make if working full-time? If there still is a large difference between what she could make and what you are currently making, please don't forget to factor in that YOU are paying all the marital debt, 50% of that is also her responsibility. Do you have an attorney or are you representing yourself?

Personally, I think a healthy, 34 yo woman should not get ANY spousal support, and should have the self-respect not to even want it. But, stick to the facts when presenting your case.

No arguement from me. I mean, what would she have done if HUBBY became ill, disabled, and now he needed HER to get out there and support HIM? My sis went out and got TWO masters' degrees after age 34, alone, with nobody supporting her, and no parent/boyfriend/husband paying any tuition for her. So it ticks me off when healthy women act like it's outrageous to expect them to be capable of accomplishing self-sufficiency at the tender age of only 34 years old!

 

[Bali Hai]

No arguement from me. I mean, what would she have done if HUBBY became ill, disabled, and now he needed HER to get out there and support HIM? My sis went out and got TWO masters' degrees after age 34, alone, with nobody supporting her, and no parent/boyfriend/husband paying any tuition for her. So it ticks me off when healthy women act like it's outrageous to expect them to be capable of accomplishing self-sufficiency at the tender age of only 34 years old!

You and the other lady express your opinions here about how it "ticks" you off when women act like they deserve alimony at 34. Now do something about it and vote the idiots out of office who dreamed up and apply those laws.

 

[IrishLady47]

You and the other lady express your opinions here about how it "ticks" you off when women act like they deserve alimony at 34. Now do something about it and vote the idiots out of office who dreamed up and apply those laws.

And, most of those idiots in office are men, look it up. Further, just because she has asked for spousal support doesn't mean it will be awarded. Especially the amount she requested based on what he says his income is. My SO's ex also asked for $1,200 a month, she was 53 and had hardly worked in the 20 years they were married. She was awarded $100 a month plus her share of the property.

Just because you feel you were screwed in your divorce, the laws are genderless. I worked for the military and, believe me, I've seen plenty of men who want their share of their female soldier spouse's military pension.

 

[Bali Hai]

And, most of those idiots in office are men, look it up.

I'm aware of this and also am aware that those in office vote and enact laws based on the wishes of the people who put them there.

Further, just because she has asked for spousal support doesn't mean it will be awarded.

A woman in her position shouldn't even have the lawful right to have the court give consideration for alimony.

Especially the amount she requested based on what he says his income is. My SO's ex also asked for $1,200 a month, she was 53 and had hardly worked in the 20 years they were married. She was awarded $100 a month plus her share of the property.

I'm sure her "equitable" share of the property took care of any higher alimony amount considered by the court.

Just because you feel you were screwed in your divorce, the laws are genderless.

That's true. The discretion used by the courts are not.

I worked for the military and, believe me, I've seen plenty of men who want their share of their female soldier spouse's military pension.

Absolutely. Split things up 50/50. You go your way and I'll go mine, just like it was before the marriage. See you in church.

 

[IrishLady47]

None of this helps the OP who has to deal with the current laws (and judges) in his state. And, feelings about the rightness or wrongness of spousal support won't help him in negotiations. He needs facts such as what kind of income could be imputed to his spouse based on her work experience. Proof of his income, joint debts and itemized expenses.

For Bali Hai - just for the record, her equitable distribution of their property was 37.5% of his military pension AFTER waiver for VA disability. About $320 a month. And, it was considered by the judge who felt another $100 was as much as she needed and eliminated any great disparity in their incomes. There was no real estate or savings to split, she'd always spent every cent he made as fast as he made it. So, she only got 1/3 of what she asked for. Actually--even less--because she asked for 50% of his pension + $1,200 spousal support.

 

[tyandi]

Update - Continuance !!!!

Strange, but her and her lawyer have filed for a continuance? They have had this case for 6 weeks now??

But any way, yes I have a lawyer, $5000 worth of one. I agree, I feel she is just trying to hurt me in any way she can, but honestly, I can't imagine how a judge can slap me with a huge support payment when she is not working.

Also, one of you said something that my lawyer also said, that is that I am paying all our credit card debt. I literally have no money to give her.

Can she stop this law suit? I wonder if her attorney is telling her she has a weak case? Could this be why they requested a continuance? We only have 2 months until our year is up and we can obtain a divorce. It just doesn't make sense why she waited so long in the first place, and now she is delaying if she was destitute?

 

[tyandi]

Why did she do this?

Anyone have a clue why she and her attorney put in for a continuance? Our divorce is final in two months. I wonder if her attorney has realized her case is weak? On paper she has more money in the bank, and has less bills.

If we did go to court and the judge awarded her nothing for the time being (because i have no money, and i pay our marital CC debt) would that set a precedent for the amount of alimony I would pay?

 

[weenor]

Anyone have a clue why she and her attorney put in for a continuance?

No one here can say as we're not mind readers. Attorney could be taking his/her kids to Disneyland that week or he/she may have an older case set for trial the same day, or he/she may need additional time to build a case against you....get my point?

 

[tyandi]

Got it

Yes, I get it. However, her and her lawyers claim is that I am substantially in a position to support her, and has made it seem like that she is destitue?? If she was, why #1 wait for 9 months to file for Post separation support? #2 Why get a continuance if she is destitute?

What kind of case would there be against me. I net $2200 / mo, I have our CC debt, have to pay rent, at the end of every month I barely make it. I have to put food and gas on credit. All this while she receives 11k from her parents, does'nt work, we have no kids, she bought a $1500 labradoodle (designer dog), receives countless $$ under the table from her parents, is only 34, and drives around a 2004 Volkswagon passat.

Jeez,