Got a response to my proposal

[ProSeDadinMD]

LdiJ, which points are you unclear on? here is the basics up untill now:
Filed in November for Mod of Visitation/Custody, specifically stating vacation/holidays/make-up days/birthdays should be added to our agreement with no other cahnge.

Had ...her ... served, waited more than 30 days for her to respond. Filed a Ord of Default and an "amended" petition for 50/50 in January, the day before our scheduling hearing.

At scheduleing hearing, ...she ... shows up, with lawyer in tow, and files a Motion to Dismiss my petition, and her own petition, which boils down to her wanting to take my midweek overnight away because it is "adversly affecting" my daughters schoolwork.

I emailed teacher(who replied from her Montgomery Co Public Schools "official" email) that afternoon, requesting any information that she had about such an adverse affect, and she said she is coming along nicely and showing improvement. ...She ... has also said things along the same lines(see post above, from her work email at a government office)

We are currently in the discovery phase(meaning I have her request, and they now have mine).

casa, this is her second grade teacher, so I don't think she would be aware of any pattern from prior years. I hadn't thought about simply asking her about testifying. I've read the MD statutes on Lexis Nexis.

waitinMd, I've checked that site. It does show that the "amended" petition was dismissed. Like I say, I have to go to the courthouse and get a copy of the letter, which I never received.

 

[GrowUp!]

Just an FYI...since there have been suggestions to subpoena the teacher, you might not be able to DIRECTLY subpoena her. You might need to go through the Principal and/or the Board of Education. Be sure to check up on that IF you plan to go that route.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ, which points are you unclear on? here is the basics up untill now:
Filed in November for Mod of Visitation/Custody, specifically stating vacation/holidays/make-up days/birthdays should be added to our agreement with no other cahnge.

Had ...her ... served, waited more than 30 days for her to respond. Filed a Ord of Default and an "amended" petition for 50/50 in January, the day before our scheduling hearing.

At scheduleing hearing, ...she ... shows up, with lawyer in tow, and files a Motion to Dismiss my petition, and her own petition, which boils down to her wanting to take my midweek overnight away because it is "adversly affecting" my daughters schoolwork.

I emailed teacher(who replied from her Montgomery Co Public Schools "official" email) that afternoon, requesting any information that she had about such an adverse affect, and she said she is coming along nicely and showing improvement. ...She ... has also said things along the same lines(see post above, from her work email at a government office)

We are currently in the discovery phase(meaning I have her request, and they now have mine).

casa, this is her second grade teacher, so I don't think she would be aware of any pattern from prior years. I hadn't thought about simply asking her about testifying. I've read the MD statutes on Lexis Nexis.

waitinMd, I've checked that site. It does show that the "amended" petition was dismissed. Like I say, I have to go to the courthouse and get a copy of the letter, which I never received.

Ok...its sounds to me like she wasn't going to fight you on your petition for holidays etc and was therefore going to allow it to go through by default. However, when you added in the 50/50, the day before the scheduled hearing, that changed her position. (and it was pretty much guarantee to do so). She asked for your petition for 50/50 to be dismissed, most likely because you did not provide proper service with enough notice. I suspect that is why the petition has been dismissed. I could be wrong, but that's my best guess. You will find out for certain when you get the paperwork.

Now you are probably dealing with your original motion (for the holidays etc.) and hers to take away your midweek visit.

Have you been ordered to mediation? That is usually a first step. It is not your job to prove that your midweek visit is NOT disrupting the child's schooling....its her job to prove that it IS disrupting the child's schooling. It your job to prove that the changes YOU want are in the best interest of the child.

Odds are that if this isn't resolved in mediation, that you won't lose your midweek and that you will get close to what you want on the holidays etc. (I don't know the details about what you asked for so I can't comment in full on that).

Your original petition was something that you could handle on your own fairly easily, because its very common and standard stuff that really should have been addressed the first time around. However, again I don't know the details so I don't know if you threw anything in there that might have been controversial. However, petitioning for 50/50 changes the entire nature of what you were attempting to do, and that's a much harder thing to try without an attorney.

I'd recommend that you nail down what you want on the holidays etc. now....and put the idea of 50/50 in reserve until you are in a position to hire an attorney.

 

[Southern Softie]

This may seem petty but could you just please stop putting the rolling-eyes face every single time you say "she" or "her"? It's gotten really annoying and, frankly, it looks a little childish. I know it has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but it's starting to grate on my nerves.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ok...its sounds to me like she wasn't going to fight you on your petition for holidays etc and was therefore going to allow it to go through by default. However, when you added in the 50/50, the day before the scheduled hearing, that changed her position. (and it was pretty much guarantee to do so). She asked for your petition for 50/50 to be dismissed, most likely because you did not provide proper service with enough notice. I suspect that is why the petition has been dismissed. I could be wrong, but that's my best guess. You will find out for certain when you get the paperwork.

LdiJ, her motion to dismiss was strictly on my original motion. She was unaware of the "Amended" motion untill we went into our scheduling hearing(although I had performed proper service by mailing it to her per the service guidelines). ...Her ... motion to dismiss starts with the line that "Plaintiff denies that a change of circumstance exists by virtue of a lack of a specific vacation schedule in the Consent order of May 6, 2002", and "Defendant has failed to allege sufficient facts which would, if prove, legally justify a modification of the above-referenced consent order".

Here is what I am specifying for a change from what we have, and that I sent to them:

Both parties will be entitled to 4(four) weeks of vacation or uninterrupted parenting time, as they prefer, with 2(two) weeks of said parenting time to be taken during the summer months when ****** is on summer break. The remaining 2(two) weeks may be taken at each parents discretion at any time during the year, providing that it does not interfere with ******'s school schedule, or the following holiday schedule. A minimum of 30 days notice will be given for all vacation or uninterrupted parenting time to be taken.

Holiday(excluding school breaks, which are listed separately as follows) custody shall belong to whichever parent is in "possession" of ****** on the morning of said holiday with the following exceptions: a) Mothers Day(including the night of, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said holiday falls during the Fathers parenting time) shall revert to the Mother and Fathers Day (the night of, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said holiday falls during the Mothers parenting time) to the Father. b) Each parent shall have Deanna on the day(or evening, depending on whether or not said birthday falls on a weekday or weekend day) of their respective birthdays(including the night of said birthday, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said birthday falls during the other parents parenting time). c) For ******'s birthday, the parents shall alternate, with the Mother having odd years and the Father even years, the day(from 10am including the night of, if said birthday falls on a weekend) or evening(from pick-up at daycare/school until the following morning if said birthday falls during a weekday) of ******'s birthday. d) For both Winter(Christmas) Break and Spring Break, both parents shall have half of each break, alternating first half(from pick-up after the last day of school prior to the break through 9am or morning drop-off at daycare Wednesday) and second half(from 9am Wednesday morning, or pick-up at daycare through the morning of the next school day), with Mother having first half on odd years and Father having the first half on even years. e) The Thanksgiving holiday weekend will be alternated, with ****** being in possession of Mother on odd years and Father even years. f) If the parent with custody on Christmas(depending on when in the Winter Break Christmas occurs) is within a reasonable driving distance(25 miles), ****** will spend from 5pm on Christmas Eve through 1pm on Christmas day with the non-custodial(for that portion of the break) parent. If Christmas occurs on a Wednesday, ****** will be returned to the parent maintaining custody for the second half of the break no later than 1pm.

Whichever parent is in possession of ****** on the morning of a day that ****** is ill, and unable to attend school, shall be responsible for her care on that "sick" day.

If, for a reason beyond either parents control, either parent is unable to complete their parenting time, they shall contact the other parent at least 4 hours prior to the expected pick-up time, and shall be entitled to a make-up day(to be performed within 2 weeks of the date of the interruption).

Child support shall be according to the current Guidelines for Child Support in Maryland, subject to income verification pursuant to §12-203 of The Child Support Guidelines of Maryland Law, as of whatever date we come to an agreement.

No Mediation has been ordered.

Southern Softie, it's either ...her ... or "Mommy", and Ohiogirl said that was "creepy"

 

[Southern Softie]

Well, "mommy" is creepy and is irritating. How about just plain "her"? Or maybe "The B.O.W." (B***h On Wheels)

 

[stealth2]

Why not just say "the ex" like most normal posters do?

 

[fairisfair]

This may seem petty but could you just please stop putting the rolling-eyes face every single time you say "she" or "her"? It's gotten really annoying and, frankly, it looks a little childish. I know it has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but it's starting to grate on my nerves.

Pro Se has been referring to her this way for a very long time, those of us who are quite familiar with him, are well aware of the story behind referring to her this way. if you don't like how the thread appears, you are certainly free to read others.

 

[CJane]

Southern Softie, it's either ...her ... or "Mommy", and Ohiogirl said that was "creepy"

Nuh uh! CJane did.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Nuh uh! CJane did.

Dang....My apologies Ms. Jane

 

[Southern Softie]

if you don't like how the thread appears, you are certainly free to read others.

Well, yes, fairisfair, I certainly am free to read other threads. I am also certainly free to make a polite request of the OP if I choose to do so, as I did.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ, her motion to dismiss was strictly on my original motion. She was unaware of the "Amended" motion untill we went into our scheduling hearing(although I had performed proper service by mailing it to her per the service guidelines). ...Her ... motion to dismiss starts with the line that "Plaintiff denies that a change of circumstance exists by virtue of a lack of a specific vacation schedule in the Consent order of May 6, 2002", and "Defendant has failed to allege sufficient facts which would, if prove, legally justify a modification of the above-referenced consent order".

That's odd...because its apparently your motion for 50/50 that has been dismissed. That couldn't have happened unless one of the parties moved for it to be dismissed.

Here is what I am specifying for a change from what we have, and that I sent to them:

That was tough to read, but it looks pretty normal. The language on Christmas needs to be clarifed a little better in my opinion.

The only thing that is a bit odd, is the makeup time. Generally makeup time is given when the other parent has something that interferes with your parenting time, not when you can't exercise your parenting time. In other words, if your ex causes you to lose parenting time, you get makeup time...but when you are the cause yourself, you don't. One of the reasons for that is because you could literally make any fixed schedule invalid, by not taking your scheduled time and then taking makeup time instead. I am not saying that you would do that...but there are some parents out there who would and have.

No Mediation has been ordered.

Its likely to get eventually ordered.

Southern Softie, it's either ...her ... or "Mommy", and Ohiogirl said that was "creepy"

It does make your posts harder to read.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Here is the final draft of what I sent to …her … last Thursday.

********,

I am sending this to you per your lawyers request.

The only possible change that I would be willing to make, which would be contingent on you providing me with compelling evidence of how or where the Wednesday night overnight is "adversely affecting" ******’s schoolwork(which I have asked for in the past via email, and which has not been provided), or is otherwise not in ******'s best interest, would be a change from every Wednesday night to every other Friday night(so as not to adversely affect said schoolwork, if this is in fact the case), as well as the retention of every other weekends as it stands now, and with the addition of 30 days of uninterrupted parenting time during the summer. I also feel that points 4, 5, 6, and 7 of my proposal dated 3/6/07 are reasonable, and that we would all 3 benefit from these additions.

On the subject of ******'s relationship with her sister, I have consistently done whatever I could to foster a strong relationship between them, as evidenced by the fact that you and I had previously come to an understanding with regards to the night of weeknight visitation. As I stated in my email of 11/1/2006, "Since "we" have apparently decided that we are following the consent order from May 2002 exclusively, I think that it would be in both of our best interest to return to the correct schedule for weekly overnight visitations, which would be Wednesdays, rather than alternating Tuesdays and Thursdays(per your verbal request). .... I know that we have been doing this in an effort to permit the children to be away the same evening for visitation, and I have no problems with this. But as you have pointed out to me, ***** does not generally pick ****** up for those evenings. That being the case, I feel it would be best to return to overnights every Wednesday in an effort to keep the number of "violations" to our order to a minimum". I fail to see, and have found no precedent stating such, how fostering a relationship with her sister is considered more important than her fostering a relationship with her father. I also fail to see a legitimate reason why ****** should be penalized by losing time with me simply because ***** fails to accomplish his visitation with ******. That would not be taking ******'s best interest into account. Conversely, if ***** were to begin, or has begun, utilizing his visitation with ****** again, I would have no problem with returning to the Tuesday/Thursday overnight schedule that we had agreed to in the past, upon suitably amending our order.

Again, the only way I would possibly be willing to even consider such a change is if you can provide me the compelling evidence of an adverse affect due to the Wednesday overnights. I retain the hope that we can come to a mutually agreeable understanding on this..

****** *********

Here is the response that I got this morning.

I am not trying to down play your relationship with ******. I feel it is very important that you maintain a relationship with her. I have always tried to foster your relationship with her and have never tried to interfere or discourage with it in any way, shape or form. However, I do agree with ******* that there is a huge difference between just having time with ****** and building a strong relationship with her.

If you agree to remove the Wednesday overnight then we can move forward and start discussing a summer schedule. As for winter and spring break, I do not think that splitting the weeks in half will work. I think that ****** should spend winter break w/one and spring break w/ the other. Otherwise, neither of us will be able to take vacations w/ her during that time. Also, every other Friday is not going to work because I will not be able to take ****** away for weekends or make plans that span the entire weekend like you will. Let me know if you agree on Wednesday’s so we can start on the summer schedule.

******** *****

The person that ...she ... agrees with in her first paragraph is her lawyer. My problem with this is that she does not, in any way, address what I asked her regarding why I should “agree to remove” Wednesdays.

P.S. I will be posting later today, and soliciting opinions, about why my “amended” motion was dismissed(it was done in error based on the info I have).

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

My unsent reply to the above....

********,

I appreciate your response. However, you have not provided me with the information that I have requested with regards to a valid reason for ****** and I to lose our midweek visitation. Without that, I still don't see how that would be in ******'s best interest with regards to her maintaining a meaningful relationship with me. Once you have forwarded this information to me, I will reconsider a change from the current schedule.

**** *********

 

[fairisfair]

The person that ...she ... agrees with in her first paragraph is her lawyer. My problem with this is that she does not, in any way, address what I asked her regarding why I should “agree to remove” Wednesdays.

P.S. I will be posting later today, and soliciting opinions, about why my “amended” motion was dismissed(it was done in error based on the info I have).

I am still incredibly interested in what that "huge difference" is?? What the he11, do they think that you have to have specific plans and an itinerary for your time with your child to matter? Does mom have every minute of their time together planned? What is wrong with just hanging with your kid, talking, walking, swinging, whatever???