My parents do see the kids a few times a year (They always come down near Christmas, usually in October, and again in February, in addition to seeing them for the two weeks every summer....and they always have had that summer visit, even while we were married). They also make an effort to stay in touch. They send cards, letters back and forth, skype at least weekly, and talk on the phone a few times a week. They play games online a lot together (on pogo) and in general do their best to maintain a relationship. All those things are available to the kid's father, and he chooses not to use them. Not that it matters much, but I don't actually get along all that well with my mom. She was angry when I moved here (I have other family in this area) instead of back to Ohio, but even though we disagree, I am able to see that it benefits the KIDS to have a relationship with her. I feel the same way about their father.
I would not have been asking for a reintroduction just because he went away for a year on military duty. Yes, he is deployed now, but chose not to have contact with the kids for the two years prior to that while he was in the states. The last time he saw them, as we were leaving, he told the kids that they wouldn't be seeing him again because he didn't want to deal with me. (We had exchanged words on the phone prior to me coming to get them because it messed up my schedule to have to come get them so soon...I missed class, and I missed work) and he proceeded to change his phone number, and mostly ignore emails for that two years. The parts about him being a soldier and being deployed were just because I wanted to demonstrate that the kids really had not spent much time with him, even before his voluntary absence, and it was unreasonable to expect especially the youngest to feel comfortable on a 6 week visit in a strange place, with someone they barely know.
I heard back from him though, and he says that his visit with his mom is only going to overlap by the first two days the kids are there. I am afraid if I allow him those days, he will leave the kids with his mother, and then I would probably have to take an extra trip to Ohio to retrieve them, so that my mom could see them. So at this point I am unsure how to approach this. We had been planning on arranging with his mom like we did last year, for her to visit a few days in my moms home. Like I said, he cut off contact with her while we were married (oddly enough because he felt like she wasn't making an effort to be a part of the kid's lives) and so last summer was the first time they had seen her at all since 2005. I don't think letting her have a week of the two weeks is fair, especially since my mom is paying the cost of bringing them up and returning them. After this summer, he gets the same amount of summer time I do, and if he wants her to have them for a week, I think he should arrange that on his own, and not expect my family to foot the bill for it.
I would not have been asking for a reintroduction just because he went away for a year on military duty. Yes, he is deployed now, but chose not to have contact with the kids for the two years prior to that while he was in the states. The last time he saw them, as we were leaving, he told the kids that they wouldn't be seeing him again because he didn't want to deal with me. (We had exchanged words on the phone prior to me coming to get them because it messed up my schedule to have to come get them so soon...I missed class, and I missed work) and he proceeded to change his phone number, and mostly ignore emails for that two years. The parts about him being a soldier and being deployed were just because I wanted to demonstrate that the kids really had not spent much time with him, even before his voluntary absence, and it was unreasonable to expect especially the youngest to feel comfortable on a 6 week visit in a strange place, with someone they barely know.
I heard back from him though, and he says that his visit with his mom is only going to overlap by the first two days the kids are there. I am afraid if I allow him those days, he will leave the kids with his mother, and then I would probably have to take an extra trip to Ohio to retrieve them, so that my mom could see them. So at this point I am unsure how to approach this. We had been planning on arranging with his mom like we did last year, for her to visit a few days in my moms home. Like I said, he cut off contact with her while we were married (oddly enough because he felt like she wasn't making an effort to be a part of the kid's lives) and so last summer was the first time they had seen her at all since 2005. I don't think letting her have a week of the two weeks is fair, especially since my mom is paying the cost of bringing them up and returning them. After this summer, he gets the same amount of summer time I do, and if he wants her to have them for a week, I think he should arrange that on his own, and not expect my family to foot the bill for it.
