Grounds to go from 50-50 to standard?

[LdiJ]

Again.. clearly your focus is "sticking it to Dad"..if you dont want the responsibilities and only the fun, give Dad full custody.. stepmum is not overstepping here, Dad cannot stand up to her, that is Dad's problem not hers.

Sorry, but I disagree. She is absolutely overstepping. I agree that its also dad's problem because he won't stand up to her, but that does not take away the fact that she is absolutely overstepping.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Sorry, but I disagree. She is absolutely overstepping. I agree that its also dad's problem because he won't stand up to her, but that does not take away the fact that she is absolutely overstepping.

Profmum, if you care to learn more about me, you will clearly see I have no interest in sticking it to anyone, and have long been an advocate of equal rights for fathers.
But I digress.

 

[profmum]

Sorry, but I disagree. She is absolutely overstepping. I agree that its also dad's problem because he won't stand up to her, but that does not take away the fact that she is absolutely overstepping.

And legally how is this going to play out?
Court: Dad why are you not taking the kids to these activities
Dad: Because SMum said I could not
Court: oh I see, SMum is thereby ordered not to tell Dad that he cannot take the kids to their activities.

seriously??

 

[Ohiogal]

There are constantly posts on here reminding us that over-stepping stepmoms can cause a lot of legal hotwater. Is that not the case here?
I will continue to take the kids to their activities, because this is certainly not their fault. Ex is getting his cake and eating it too, though. He has no responsibilities and all the fun.

File to modify regarding extracurriculars.

 

[Ohiogal]

And legally how is this going to play out?
Court: Dad why are you not taking the kids to these activities
Dad: Because SMum said I could not
Court: oh I see, SMum is thereby ordered not to tell Dad that he cannot take the kids to their activities.

seriously??

Try:

Court: Why are you not taking the kids to these activities?
Dad: Because Smum said I could not
Court: you dont' have a problem with the children in the activities and they have been in them for three years?
Dad: Yes they have been in them for three years and I had no problem except smum says I can't take them.
Court: Then this Court ORDERS that you will take the children to the activities on your time. The Court overrules Smum.

 

[CJane]

While I'll certainly agree that the courts CAN be capricious, I DO think that you have status quo on your side. This habit of Dad's is relatively new and perhaps if it was court ordered that he provide transportation for extra curricular activities, he'd find his balls.

 

[profmum]

Try:

Court: Why are you not taking the kids to these activities?
Dad: Because Smum said I could not
Court: you dont' have a problem with the children in the activities and they have been in them for three years?
Dad: Yes they have been in them for three years and I had no problem except smum says I can't take them.
Court: Then this Court ORDERS that you will take the children to the activities on your time. The Court overrules Smum.

Except Mum wants to modify custody based on this. I personally would not pick this battle if it were my ex and the court's ruling in Mum's favor is NOT slam dunk! But a more reasonable option if Mum is insisting on litigating this is what you suggest.
After 3 years of litigation with my ex, in a 50-50 schedule where I do all of the parenting related responsibilties that go beyond the doors of his house (school related, medical etc) including picking up DD halfway on certain mornings for school, things are so much peaceful now that I have learnt to let go. Anyways, letting go took me years to learn, so it not for everyone!

My peace of mind and a reasonable relationship with DD's Dad even if it includes my pulling more than my 50% share of parenting is worth a lot to me.

 

[CJane]

Except Mum wants to modify custody based on this.

Actually, this is being misstated by OP and that has carried through.

She wants to modify PARENTING TIME which is NOT the same thing. A change in parenting time generally only requires a showing of best interests, not change in circumstances.

 

[gr8rn]

There are constantly posts on here reminding us that over-stepping stepmoms can cause a lot of legal hotwater. Is that not the case here?
I will continue to take the kids to their activities, because this is certainly not their fault. Ex is getting his cake and eating it too, though. He has no responsibilities and all the fun.

It doesn't sound like Dad is having much fun with all this. Kids are the ones who stand to lose. Why chance it. You have them in the activites they want, so why not just take them. It's a win win situation for the kids. They get to do every extracurricular activity that they want and they get to see that Mom will go the extra mile to make sure they get there.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Well how does this grab you? I took my daughter to her dance class. Returned her to dad's after. Standing on the doorstep when stepmom flies out of the house, screams in my face and shoves me. She pushed me. My son saw the ewhole thing and was hysterical. He had been trying to call me and she would not allow him to. While with my daughter at dance class, my cell phone would ring, I would hear my son sobbing, and then the phone would hang up. THis happened three times. When I got to the house to return my daughter, dad answered teh door. I asked to see my son. Stepmom went ape****.
Police are on the way, I will be filing assault charges and going to a lawyer tomorrow.
Oh and dad? He stood there and watched it all happen.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Well how does this grab you? I took my daughter to her dance class. Returned her to dad's after. Standing on the doorstep when stepmom flies out of the house, screams in my face and shoves me. She pushed me. My son saw the ewhole thing and was hysterical. He had been trying to call me and she would not allow him to. While with my daughter at dance class, my cell phone would ring, I would hear my son sobbing, and then the phone would hang up. THis happened three times. When I got to the house to return my daughter, dad answered teh door. I asked to see my son. Stepmom went ape****.
Police are on the way, I will be filing assault charges and going to a lawyer tomorrow.
Oh and dad? He stood there and watched it all happen.

Wow just wow....Why was she so pissed? Any clue?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Hmmmm .... no third party interference clause?

 

[kimberlywrites]

Wow just wow....Why was she so pissed? Any clue?

BEcause I demanded to know what happened to make my son cry and call me, and why they took the phone away from him. I demanded to see him when I dropped my daughter off from hiphop.
She flew at my face and screamed they were HER kids because they were on HER time and that I was interfering. I told her they are not her kids, ever. I tried to get around her to see my son, who was standing in the door crying. She shoved me.
My son ran out the door in his bare feet. I got him into the truck. My daughter came running out with their backpacks. And now we're at my house.
It's dads time. So I'm worried about that. Fortunately our decree isn't specific to dates, it just says alternating weeks.
God what a mess.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Hmmmm .... no third party interference clause?

Nope!
Everything was roses and sunshine until she came along. I spent months encouraing my kids to work it out. I helped out by taking them to their stuff while my ex told me "it's just growing pains of a new family. It will get better."
Yeah, no. It's much worse. Enough is enough.

 

[kimberlywrites]

What's my next step? Do I call a lawyer in the morning and try to get in like right away...? I don't know what to do. Can I ask for a restraining order against her? Do I take my police report with me to the lawyer?
The kids right now seem to be happy. THey are happy to be here. I wish they hadn't seen that.