Guardian Ad Litem

[not2cleverRed]

OG, Please comment on the bolded. This seems like an unusual reason to deny contact to a parent; I would expect the denied parent to have committed some offense that makes him a danger to the child.

Perhaps prior to the CPO the child was not happy and well adjusted, due to whatever Dad did that merited a 5 year CPO.

Perhaps it is none of our business what the specific offense was that resulted in a 5 year CPO that included not just the Mom, but the child as well.

You read between the lines and see that Mom is being difficult, because you believe that all adults should be reasonable and work together.

I read between the lines and suspect that Mom would rather not share all the gory details about what Dad has done to the family. Some things break a family up so bad that it's an insult to suggest that it be patched together and everyone smile and play nice.

There is a 5 year protection order...

It's t. She always thinks everyone should play nice, and that there's something wrong with you if you can't play nice.

 

[t74]

There is a 5 year protection order...

Then that should have been the reason stated.

 

[Just Blue]

Then that should have been the reason stated.

Are you being obtuse on purpose or did you hit you head on a cement slab lately?

Dad did something so heinous to the child in question, that the court slapped him with a FIVE YEAR RO. The child is now, after two years, feeling safe, secure and happy. Now Dad is trying to gain custody/visitation. Mom's reason stated is appropriate given the background.


Honestly T ....sometimes it's in the childs best interest to have no contact at all with their father/mother. Stop pushing your Father bias on this forum...between you and LD it's annoying and inappropriate.

 

[t74]

Perhaps prior to the CPO the child was not happy and well adjusted, due to whatever Dad did that merited a 5 year CPO.

Perhaps it is none of our business what the specific offense was that resulted in a 5 year CPO that included not just the Mom, but the child as well.

You read between the lines and see that Mom is being difficult, because you believe that all adults should be reasonable and work together.

I read between the lines and suspect that Mom would rather not share all the gory details about what Dad has done to the family. Some things break a family up so bad that it's an insult to suggest that it be patched together and everyone smile and play nice.



It's t. She always thinks everyone should play nice, and that there's something wrong with you if you can't play nice.

Good grief. Warring parents are far more damaging to children than parents who stick similes on their faces and work with the other parent even though they hate each other. How does it help a child to be told via words and action that the other parent - and then half of the child - is a jerk or worse. I detest several of my close family members for what they have done but can manage to find something nice to say about them and avoid discussing my reasons for distancing myself from them to the children in the family.

My question for OG was due to the comment being unexpected from a GAL. Perhaps OP was not accurate in relating the comment. The comment implied to me that the other parent should never be involved in the child's life as long as the child is happy. That imples that when a teen gets crosswise and unhappy with the CP that the GAL would recommend that the custody of the child be changed.

And yes, there is something very wrong with an adult if they cannot "play nice" when minor children are involved. Children need to feel good about themselves and where they came from. That person needs to seek counseling.

 

[Just Blue]

Good grief. Warring parents are far more damaging to children than parents who stick similes on their faces and work with the other parent even though they hate each other. How does it help a child to be told via words and action that the other parent - and then half of the child - is a jerk or worse. I detest several of my close family members for what they have done but can manage to find something nice to say about them and avoid discussing my reasons for distancing myself from them to the children in the family.

My question for OG was due to the comment being unexpected from a GAL. Perhaps OP was not accurate in relating the comment. The comment implied to me that the other parent should never be involved in the child's life as long as the child is happy. That imples that when a teen gets crosswise and unhappy with the CP that the GAL would recommend that the custody of the child be changed.

And yes, there is something very wrong with an adult if they cannot "play nice" when minor children are involved. Children need to feel good about themselves and where they came from. That person needs to seek counseling.

THE FATHER DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE!!! Do you get that?? Your many-times-regurgitated comments do NOT apply to this situation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Good grief. Warring parents are far more damaging to children than parents who stick similes on their faces and work with the other parent even though they hate each other. How does it help a child to be told via words and action that the other parent - and then half of the child - is a jerk or worse. I detest several of my close family members for what they have done but can manage to find something nice to say about them and avoid discussing my reasons for distancing myself from them to the children in the family.

My question for OG was due to the comment being unexpected from a GAL. Perhaps OP was not accurate in relating the comment. The comment implied to me that the other parent should never be involved in the child's life as long as the child is happy. That imples that when a teen gets crosswise and unhappy with the CP that the GAL would recommend that the custody of the child be changed.

And yes, there is something very wrong with an adult if they cannot "play nice" when minor children are involved. Children need to feel good about themselves and where they came from. That person needs to seek counseling.

My aunt tried to "play nice" with 1st husband that molested 3 out of 4 of their children. Those 3 were/are really screwed up.

The GAL has been talking to doctors. Process that. Doctors. Plural. I can't imagine a GAL talking to the doctors (plural) regarding a child custody/visitation case, unless there was something medically/psychologically relevant.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

OG, Please comment on the bolded. This seems like an unusual reason to deny contact to a parent; I would expect the denied parent to have committed some offense that makes him a danger to the child.

He is a danger. And absent for 10 yrs. I have a CPO against him for a reason. We have both received mental evals and he is not right in the head.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

THE FATHER DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE!!! Do you get that?? Your many-times-regurgitated comments do NOT apply to this situation.

Thank you. He has done bad things. Not discussed on here. And my son is extremely happy, is a straight A student and involved with many extracurricular activities.

 

[stealth2]

Then that should have been the reason stated.

t, hon... the RO was mentioned. Not rocket science to connect the dots. Move along.

 

[stealth2]

I detest several of my close family members for what they have done but can manage to find something nice to say about them and avoid discussing my reasons for distancing myself from them to the children in the family.

By the same token - if YOU distance yourself, why would you not do the same wrt your own children, rather than bringing them around said toxic person? There is a vast difference between "saying something nice" and subjecting your kids to them. Especially in light of an RO. OP never said (that I recall) that she says terrible things about Dad to the kid. Stop projecting.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

By the same token - if YOU distance yourself, why would you not do the same wrt your own children, rather than bringing them around said toxic person? There is a vast difference between "saying something nice" and subjecting your kids to them. Especially in light of an RO. OP never said (that I recall) that she says terrible things about Dad to the kid. Stop projecting.

Thank you. I have never said anything bad about his father to him, which is why he requested a GAL to make sure, and I I am clear of any allegations of that. I even tell my son not to speak I’ll of him. And yes, it takes all my power to not say anything or tell my son not to say anything.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG, Please comment on the bolded. This seems like an unusual reason to deny contact to a parent; I would expect the denied parent to have committed some offense that makes him a danger to the child.

There is a 5 year CPO protecting the child from the Father. That is enough to deny him contact.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

My aunt tried to "play nice" with 1st husband that molested 3 out of 4 of their children. Those 3 were/are really screwed up.

The GAL has been talking to OP's son's doctors. Process that. Doctors. Plural. I can't imagine a GAL talking to the doctors (plural) of a child regarding a child custody/visitation case, unless there was something medically/psychologically relevant.

My son doesn’t see doctors, he is very happy and healthy. I don’t know who these doctors are and they have never met my son. That is why I am so confused.

 

[t74]

There is a 5 year CPO protecting the child from the Father. That is enough to deny him contact.

OG,

My comment to you was not intended for the specific case but the highlighted comment reported to be by the GAL that the reason for the custody arrangement was that the "child was happy". I would not have believed that "happy" would be the determining factor. A child would be happier with a parent who lets a 4 yo eat ice cream and cookies at every meal, allows a preteen play video games rather than go to school, or gives a teen a car, credit card and no rules.

What specific credentials or training is expected for a GAL? Are there state or federal requirements or possible certifications? Being an attorney or social worker or educator without additional specialized training seems inadequate. Negotiations regarding a child are far more sensitive than a business deal. I know a lot of people in these professions I would not trust to care for my dog much less make such critical recommendations about a vulnerable child. Some do not have the common sense of a chicken.; and that is an insult to many chickens (I have more than one of those in my family with advanced degrees in these fields!) A poor GAL could escalate a bad situation thus endangering the child.

When a GAL is to be appointed, what should a parent look for to insure that the GAL is well qualified? When should a parent become concerned about a GAL's conduct?