happened today, very frustrated

[newmommy20]

Florida sorry so long just wanted to give backround


Very reluctantly i agreed to bring son to see father at his parents house(claims he couldnt go anywhere but wanted to see him,i was in the area waiting for prescription to be filled anyway) I asked if we could sit and wayne started to bring us inside, his father stopped us and said you can sit there and we were made to sit outside on the chattahoochee porch floor (floor composed of lots of little pebbles, not very comfortable). His father stayed w/ us the whole time standing over us like a warden or something, and again continued comparing my son to his other grandson junior. I was ready to go but ncp was playing w/ son and i figured id grin and bear it maybe he will bond and help w/ baby instead of doing nothing. His mother refused to see baby because she was "busy w/ her grandson" which i assume is refering to her comment that "my son is not her grandson she has the only 2 she needs." We stayed for an hour during which dad asked when babys meds would be ready for pick up like 4 times, i guess implying when are we leaving. I replied 2 hrs. but if you want us to leave just say so you know im not comfortable here anyway. He gave no answer so I figured after dad was finished feeding baby (I finaly pumped enough for 1 feeding). We (dad and I) joked around and played w/ baby together till his father shot ncp a dirty look. I whispered to ncp this will not happen again if you want to see him we can meet at a park he said ok. He then said "well im tired I was out till 4 in the morning last night so im going to bed, go to mommy, ill see you guys later" I said hey can i get like 5$ to help out w/ his meds" and again he said "i have no money" (although he was out all night and got in a fender bender and replaced the emblem on his precious car). I was tempted to say well I guess since I have no money either I guess hell just walk round naked and pee all over and not get his meds (refering to buying clothes, diapers etc..) because thats his attitude I have no money so not my problem I kept my cool however and said goodbye and drove away. Both NCP and his dad reaked of alcohol and cigaretes although to his credit he didnt smoke while we were there. Dad also agreed to sign a paternity acknowledgment form. Now does that mean he is now obligated to support or does there have to be an order? What rights does he have if he signs the form? Is it in the best interest to let him sign one now?

 

[tigger22472]

You have been told a hundred times that dad is not obligated to pay support until there is a court order.. what part of that do you not understand. Florida may or may not let him sign the AOP and it stand in court. Generally those are done IN the hospital with witnesses, not after. Generally after there would have to at the very least acknowledgment in front of a judge.

You have whined and cried about things since before this child was born, coming here every few days with another story, yet you obviously have done nothing to fix it. No one here is going to A. Walk you through everything that needs to be done (you've been told the specifics) or B. pick your butt up and drive you to where you need to go.

Once paternity is established dad can file for visitation and will have the ability to come get the child according to the court order for his visitation. Oh, and before you ask, if he is to be there at 6 on Friday but wants to get him at 10 on Saturday... or even Saturday night instead... Yes you have to leg him have the child. Depending on how your state works they may still have 'tender years' in their guidelines so that would depend on the overnights in the beginning.

Being a custodial parent is much more than sitting back and simply caring for the child and collecting child support. It's about attempting to foster a relationship between the child and the other parent as well as always having the child available for court ordered visitation whether they show up or not.

 

[Zephyr]

there would still need to be an order for child support, his signing only says that he agrees that he is the father of this child

 

[casa]

Florida sorry so long just wanted to give backround


Very reluctantly i agreed to bring son to see father at his parents house(claims he couldnt go anywhere but wanted to see him,i was in the area waiting for prescription to be filled anyway) I asked if we could sit and wayne started to bring us inside, his father stopped us and said you can sit there and we were made to sit outside on the chattahoochee porch floor (floor composed of lots of little pebbles, not very comfortable). His father stayed w/ us the whole time standing over us like a warden or something, and again continued comparing my son to his other grandson junior. I was ready to go but ncp was playing w/ son and i figured id grin and bear it maybe he will bond and help w/ baby instead of doing nothing. His mother refused to see baby because she was "busy w/ her grandson" which i assume is refering to her comment that "my son is not her grandson she has the only 2 she needs." We stayed for an hour during which dad asked when babys meds would be ready for pick up like 4 times, i guess implying when are we leaving. I replied 2 hrs. but if you want us to leave just say so you know im not comfortable here anyway. He gave no answer so I figured after dad was finished feeding baby (I finaly pumped enough for 1 feeding). We (dad and I) joked around and played w/ baby together till his father shot ncp a dirty look. I whispered to ncp this will not happen again if you want to see him we can meet at a park he said ok. He then said "well im tired I was out till 4 in the morning last night so im going to bed, go to mommy, ill see you guys later" I said hey can i get like 5$ to help out w/ his meds" and again he said "i have no money" (although he was out all night and got in a fender bender and replaced the emblem on his precious car). I was tempted to say well I guess since I have no money either I guess hell just walk round naked and pee all over and not get his meds (refering to buying clothes, diapers etc..) because thats his attitude I have no money so not my problem I kept my cool however and said goodbye and drove away. Both NCP and his dad reaked of alcohol and cigaretes although to his credit he didnt smoke while we were there. Dad also agreed to sign a paternity acknowledgment form. Now does that mean he is now obligated to support or does there have to be an order? What rights does he have if he signs the form? Is it in the best interest to let him sign one now?

Yes, have Dad sign the AOP. Then take that to Child Support Enforcement & get an order for child support.

If Dad wants a court order for visitation- he can file in court for it.

 

[newmommy20]

You have been told a hundred times that dad is not obligated to pay support until there is a court order.. what part of that do you not understand. Florida may or may not let him sign the AOP and it stand in court. Generally those are done IN the hospital with witnesses, not after. Generally after there would have to at the very least acknowledgment in front of a judge.

You have whined and cried about things since before this child was born, coming here every few days with another story, yet you obviously have done nothing to fix it. No one here is going to A. Walk you through everything that needs to be done (you've been told the specifics) or B. pick your butt up and drive you to where you need to go.

Once paternity is established dad can file for visitation and will have the ability to come get the child according to the court order for his visitation. Oh, and before you ask, if he is to be there at 6 on Friday but wants to get him at 10 on Saturday... or even Saturday night instead... Yes you have to leg him have the child. Depending on how your state works they may still have 'tender years' in their guidelines so that would depend on the overnights in the beginning.

Being a custodial parent is much more than sitting back and simply caring for the child and collecting child support. It's about attempting to foster a relationship between the child and the other parent as well as always having the child available for court ordered visitation whether they show up or not.

hey genius, I have gone out of my way to foster a relationship, I bust my butt to care for my son and I have filled w/ cs but it takes a yr down here according to them and im sorry but im not gonna bust my ass for his father to be lazy i have been more than gracious to NCP and still no concern, or any show of responsibility im tired of going out of my way! so take your sorry, disgrunttled self and your stupid comments that have nothing to do w/ my question and shove it!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO FIX IT? If I wasnt trying to fix it I wouldnt be on here so dont you dare call me lazy or a bad parent! (what are you talking about having him available? there IS NO ORDERED ANYTHING!! until you know what youre talking about BYE!!!)

 

[tigger22472]

hey genius, I have gone out of my way to foster a relationship, I bust my butt to care for my son and I have filled w/ cs but it takes a yr down here according to them and im sorry but im not gonna bust my ass for his father to be lazy i have been more than gracious to NCP and still no concern, or any show of responsibility im tired of going out of my way! so take your sorry, disgrunttled self and your stupid comments that have nothing to do w/ my question and shove it!!!! (what are you talking about having him available? there IS NO ORDERED ANYTHING!! until you know what youre talking about BYE!!!)

Oh.. little missy.. I DO know what I'm talking about.

I attempted to foster a relationship between a father and his children for over 3 years to someone who WAS obligated to pay support and DID have a court order for visitation. Your measly few months ain't nothing!!

I know there's nothing court ordered anything and if you weren't illiterate and knew how to read you would see where I told you after visitation is ordered.

My heart is just bleeding for you that you are tired of going out of your way. Welcome to parenthood. Little girl, the stuff you come here and complain about isn't crap compared to what could be going on and you had better wrap your head around it.

Your child is what? 3 months old now? You have been whining and complaining about child support and him being or not being around you since long before this child was born. You have 18 years of it so get used to how the way things are and do what you have to in order for it to be better.

Also get used to the fact that if 5 years down the road dad decides he wants to grow up also (since you BOTH have a long way to go) and get visitation if he hasn't already or utilize visitation if it's already ordered he'll be able to. At the very least there will be a transition period. But sweetie, you chose to lay down with this guy, you're now stuck with him.

 

[newmommy20]

Thank you

Thank you zephyr and casa for providing and answer PERTAINING TO MY QUESTION Your advice is greatly valued. again thank you

 

[newmommy20]

Oh.. little missy.. I DO know what I'm talking about.

I attempted to foster a relationship between a father and his children for over 3 years to someone who WAS obligated to pay support and DID have a court order for visitation. Your measly few months ain't nothing!!

I know there's nothing court ordered anything and if you weren't illiterate and knew how to read you would see where I told you after visitation is ordered.

My heart is just bleeding for you that you are tired of going out of your way. Welcome to parenthood. Little girl, the stuff you come here and complain about isn't crap compared to what could be going on and you had better wrap your head around it.

Your child is what? 3 months old now? You have been whining and complaining about child support and him being or not being around you since long before this child was born. You have 18 years of it so get used to how the way things are and do what you have to in order for it to be better.

Also get used to the fact that if 5 years down the road dad decides he wants to grow up also (since you BOTH have a long way to go) and get visitation if he hasn't already or utilize visitation if it's already ordered he'll be able to. At the very least there will be a transition period. But sweetie, you chose to lay down with this guy, you're now stuck with him.

Well little miss smarty obviously there is no issue w/ dad visiting baby, I TAKE BABY TO SEE HIM duh!!! sounds to me your just pissed cuz u got a ****ty hand and youre the one that needs to get over it! On top of the fact that im not complaining I was engaged and had a baby w/ who I did and thats my problem and my perogative (oh wait im illiterate, my choice) thats not the issue but it seems to be yours so again goodbye

 

[Just Blue]

hey genius, I have gone out of my way to foster a relationship, I bust my butt to care for my son and I have filled w/ cs but it takes a yr down here according to them and im sorry but im not gonna bust my ass for his father to be lazy i have been more than gracious to NCP and still no concern, or any show of responsibility im tired of going out of my way! so take your sorry, disgrunttled self and your stupid comments that have nothing to do w/ my question and shove it!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO FIX IT? If I wasnt trying to fix it I wouldnt be on here so dont you dare call me lazy or a bad parent! (what are you talking about having him available? there IS NO ORDERED ANYTHING!! until you know what youre talking about BYE!!!)

nm20...You are out of line on this...tigger is right...Try not to be so defensive and read what she said...
Until a court ORDERS it...daddy doesn't have to do jack..if you want child support you need to go and file for it...

I know you are upset that daddy and his family aren't gaga over the baby...I can understand that...but the fact is he doesn't have to have a relationship with the child and neither does his family...That is a sad fact...

 

[newmommy20]

nm20...You are out of line on this...tigger is right...Try not to be so defensive and read what she said...
Until a court ORDERS it...daddy doesn't have to do jack..if you want child support you need to go and file for it...

I know you are upset that daddy and his family aren't gaga over the baby...I can understand that...but the fact is he doesn't have to have a relationship with the child and neither does his family...That is a sad fact...

That was the question i had, if He signs an AOP does there still need to be an order. I thought so but I was unsure thats why i asked, I highly doubt tigger was stating that innocently, a while back we got into it bad so there is previous animosity. If tiggers goal was to provide an answer and only that intead of berating me then i wouldnt have been so upset but naturally i dont take kindly to being called a lazy bum and a bad mother, or being accused of preventing a relationship between baby n ncp when i have done nothing but the opposite. I do appoligize for letting my anger out in my post but I do think i shouldve defended myself, maybe not so harshly so i appoligize if my question was missunderstood or i missunderstood tiggers intent

 

[NotSoNew]

its not his problem, because you are the CP, its your problem. if you want it to be his problem and you dont want the financial responsibilty hand your son over to him and let him sue you for CS.

 

[newmommy20]

oh and by the way bay, I have lots of respect for you, You always post politely and in a non-abbrasive manner no matter your personal experience or oppinion. You give the answer needed and eventhough it may not be good news you are never rude, Thank- you

 

[tigger22472]

nm20...You are out of line on this...tigger is right...Try not to be so defensive and read what she said...
Until a court ORDERS it...daddy doesn't have to do jack..if you want child support you need to go and file for it...

I know you are upset that daddy and his family aren't gaga over the baby...I can understand that...but the fact is he doesn't have to have a relationship with the child and neither does his family...That is a sad fact...

Bay, this poster has asked a multitude of questions... a lot of which she had deleted in the beginning, starting several months before the child was born. In one thread now deleted, she was asking about a b/f adopting the child. She denies this, however, both Stealth and I remembered this. When she got called out on it she started deleting threads pertaining to why dad wasn't paying for a crib and baby supplies for a child that was not born yet.

Then her complaints went to his family... then all of a sudden he was an acoholic and his mother was a drug addict who was never home but amazingly enough can sell from her home and constantly listen in on phone conversations.

This is all about control and what she can do. This isn't about the child. Every week while she was still pregnant she was here complaining that dad wouldn't communicate with her or support her or whatever. She's been told for months what she needs to do and how to do it.. so to ask if him signing the AOP means he now owes support is/was the last straw with me. Like many posters that come here, this one continues to ask the same questions over and over until she gets an answer she likes or wants to hear.

 

[tigger22472]

That was the question i had, if He signs an AOP does there still need to be an order. I thought so but I was unsure thats why i asked, I highly doubt tigger was stating that innocently, a while back we got into it bad so there is previous animosity. If tiggers goal was to provide an answer and only that intead of berating me then i wouldnt have been so upset but naturally i dont take kindly to being called a lazy bum and a bad mother, or being accused of preventing a relationship between baby n ncp when i have done nothing but the opposite. I do appoligize for letting my anger out in my post but I do think i shouldve defended myself, maybe not so harshly so i appoligize if my question was missunderstood or i missunderstood tiggers intent

I never called you a lazy bum or a bad mother. I have however called you controlling and illiterate because you only see what you want to see, not what the law is and what is morally right for your child. You want what you want... plain and simple.

 

[newmommy20]

its not his problem, because you are the CP, its your problem. if you want it to be his problem and you dont want the financial responsibilty hand your son over to him and let him sue you for CS.

Oh so since baby lives w/ me he is not responsible? No one said anything about not wanting the financial responsibility.... im not wasting my time w/ you its stupid oppinions like yours that lead ncps to believe children are property you pay for and take on the weekends like child rental. Having a child is much more involved than that