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[kim123]

What is the name of your state? PA


Hi there, I am writing here because I have no idea what to do in the situation. My fiance has a 7 year old son, he went from seeing him every weekend two years ago to seeing him once a year if we are lucky for the past year. His ex-girlfriend refuses to let him see his son. He calls all of the time and leaves messages. He either gets no response or a call at some ungodly hour of the night. Her boyfriend gets on the phone and threatens him. I have no idea why this guy thinks he has any say in what happens with their son. His ex and her boyfriend are constantly bad mouthing my fiance, we 100% believe that they are doing this in front of the kids too (she has 2 daughters from a previous relationship). When my fiance does actually get to talk on the phone she is always sceaming into the phone, he rarely has a chance to speak or give input. She even went to say that he is nothing but a sperm donor. My fiance loves his son, he pays child support and requests to see his son frequently. This to me does not say dead beat dad or sperm donor. He clearly wants to be involved. She allows his mom to have his son on over night visits but when she finds out that he has seen his son she flips out as if he is unfit or has no rights to see his son. There is nothing in writing that proves him to be a bad father or not permitted to see his son. It has been a long road for him and we pray everyday that one day we will have his son in our home on a regular basis. Does anyone have any advice for us? Maybe someone out there is going through a similar situation. Thanks anyhow for letting me tell someone about this.

 

[Silverplum]

Does he have COURT-ORDERED parenting time/visitation? If so, he must file contempt against Mom for denying court-ordered time. If not, he must go to court and get that order.

 

[jaxpink]

{I have no idea why this guy thinks he has any say in what happens with their son. His ex and her boyfriend are constantly bad mouthing my fiance} QUOTE

they all do-

since your fiance and her were never married he will have to file for visitation or even custody to see his son- A man or woman can pay child support and not have visitation-
Does he even have any visitation or custody ordered? Im thinking No but this would help answer your question.

 

[Silverplum]

Is there an echo in here?

 

[jaxpink]

Is there an echo in here?

sorry i was typing in between calls and you popped up while i was-

 

[kim123]

Unfortunately we do not have anything in legal documentation of visitation or custody. I am aware though that this is a seperate issue than child support. But since you brought it up she is super greedy, he just switched jobs and she did not get a payment, boy was she quick to get on the phone and threaten him about it. He make $14 an hour and is paying over $500 a month for one child. Maybe I am out of the loop but that sure seems like alot.

 

[CJane]

Unfortunately we do not have anything in legal documentation of visitation or custody. I am aware though that this is a seperate issue than child support. But since you brought it up she is super greedy, he just switched jobs and she did not get a payment, boy was she quick to get on the phone and threaten him about it. He make $14 an hour and is paying over $500 a month for one child. Maybe I am out of the loop but that sure seems like alot.

That's around 20% which is relatively standard. Especially if there are arrears owed.

And w/out court orders, all that your fiance can do is file for visitation orders. He should probably seriously consider hiring an attorney - or, at the very least, getting a consult.

 

[Silverplum]

Unfortunately we do not have anything in legal documentation of visitation or custody.

She has custody. He needs to file in the child's state to obtain visitation and perhaps joint legal custody.

Has he legally been declared the father? Is he on the birth cert? Did he sign an affadavit of parentage or something like that? Is he court-ordered to pay support? If so, he's legally been declared Dad. He can't file for parenting time without that.

I am aware though that this is a seperate issue than child support. But since you brought it up she is super greedy, he just switched jobs and she did not get a payment, boy was she quick to get on the phone and threaten him about it. He make $14 an hour and is paying over $500 a month for one child. Maybe I am out of the loop but that sure seems like alot.

Is the CS COURT-ORDERED?? Very important to know the answers to these questions in order to give valid advice/info.

 

[kim123]

Yes, I believe that the Child Support is in fact court ordered. I know that he is listed as dad on the birth certificate too.

Ok so the child Support is about right then. I am just learning, but eager to do so to help him in this situation.

We cannot afford a lawyer, we had one and he did nothing. So I guess we can go to the courthouse and file for a court date to set specific visitation.

Do we have to do this in the county that she resides in or can we do this in the county we live in?

Thanks for your help too!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? PA


Hi there, I am writing here because I have no idea what to do in the situation.

Okay.

My fiance has a 7 year old son,

DANGER WILL ROBINSON -- WARNING WARNING. Okay here is the thing -- the rest of your post should not contain the words "we", "us" or bio mom.

he went from seeing him every weekend two years ago to seeing him once a year if we are lucky for the past year.

Apparently too late on that warning. You are a legal stranger.

His ex-girlfriend refuses to let him see his son.

Is there a court order for visitation? Did dad establish paternity? And no being on the birth certificate doesn't count.

He calls all of the time and leaves messages. He either gets no response or a call at some ungodly hour of the night.

OKay.

Her boyfriend gets on the phone and threatens him. I have no idea why this guy thinks he has any say in what happens with their son.

Why do YOU use the word "we"?

His ex and her boyfriend are constantly bad mouthing my fiance, we 100% believe that they are doing this in front of the kids too (she has 2 daughters from a previous relationship).

You know that they are bad mouthing your fiance and yet "we"... You can believe whatever you want but dad has to prove it!

When my fiance does actually get to talk on the phone she is always sceaming into the phone, he rarely has a chance to speak or give input. She even went to say that he is nothing but a sperm donor. My fiance loves his son, he pays child support and requests to see his son frequently. This to me does not say dead beat dad or sperm donor.

Is there a court order for child support? What it says to you does nto matter. Has dad petitioned the court?

He clearly wants to be involved.

Then has he petitioned the court for custody/visitatioN? If not why not? Because quite frankly he doesn't clearly want to be involved if he has not made moves to do it legally.

She allows his mom to have his son on over night visits but when she finds out that he has seen his son she flips out as if he is unfit or has no rights to see his son.

Without a court order he technically does not have any rights to see his son.

There is nothing in writing that proves him to be a bad father or not permitted to see his son.

Anything in writing permitting him time with his son? If not then mom has complete and total say.

It has been a long road for him and we pray everyday that one day we will have his son in our home on a regular basis. Does anyone have any advice for us?

WE are not a party to this> You are a legal stranger and always will be. Dad needs to go to court and do the right thing.

 

[Ohiogal]

Unfortunately we do not have anything in legal documentation of visitation or custody. I am aware though that this is a seperate issue than child support. But since you brought it up she is super greedy, he just switched jobs and she did not get a payment, boy was she quick to get on the phone and threaten him about it. He make $14 an hour and is paying over $500 a month for one child. Maybe I am out of the loop but that sure seems like alot.

How much is daycare? How much is in arrears? When was the last time it was modified? No legal documentation means no visitation. Super greedy? How long did it take before dad started paying?

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, I believe that the Child Support is in fact court ordered.

Believing is NOT knowing.

I know that he is listed as dad on the birth certificate too.

How was he put on the birth certificate? Did he sign the AOP or was he adjudicated through genetic testing?

Ok so the child Support is about right then. I am just learning, but eager to do so to help him in this situation.

No one knows.

We cannot afford a lawyer, we had one and he did nothing

WE did NOT have an attorney.

So I guess we can go to the courthouse and file for a court date to set specific visitation.

NO we cannot. Dad can file a motion asking for custody/visitation.YOU can NOT unless you are an attorney.

Do we have to do this in the county that she resides in or can we do this in the county we live in?

The county she resides in.

 

[Silverplum]

Kim, before you get all offended or whatever...you have just been answered by a family law attorney. She goes flying through, between cases and hearings and general wildness, and answers lots of questions before it's time for her to go flying back to wherever she's next scheduled to be.

Be glad.

 

[kim123]

help

Thanks.
I say "we" because the ex yells so loud that I hear it across the room. Legal stanger yes. Concerned for the welfare of his son very much so. You make a lot of sense and that is what I need. My fiance has tried petitioning in court, apparently he went to the wrong court and he was told by the judge that he would get in contact with him, granted the judge is busy and we have not heard from him. I was not surprised.

So anyhow, you said about petitioning in court forgive me for my ignorance but is this equivilent to filing for visitation or a complete and seperate entity?

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks.
I say "we" because the ex yells so loud that I hear it across the room. Legal stanger yes. Concerned for the welfare of his son very much so. You make a lot of sense and that is what I need. My fiance has tried petitioning in court, apparently he went to the wrong court and he was told by the judge that he would get in contact with him, granted the judge is busy and we have not heard from him. I was not surprised.

So anyhow, you said about petitioning in court forgive me for my ignorance but is this equivilent to filing for visitation or a complete and seperate entity?

Yes, "to petition" is the same as "to file a motion." And in PA, I see they are called "pleas," which is a "plea" for the judge's attention. It's all just words, ya know? He needs family court, in the county in which his daughter lives.

You could try here -- I googled it:
http://courts.phila.gov/forms.html

http://courts.phila.gov/common-pleas/family/