helping my husband get custody of his daughter

[diana.pussehl]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I am kind-of the step mom to an almost 9 month old beautiful little girl. The mother of this child has temporary full custody. My husband didn't see his daughter until the paternity test proved she was his daughter. Since that day he has wanted to see her and spend time with her. The mother has been very sporatic in allowing him to see her. It took her over a month before she would allow us to have her overnight. We have never had a problem with this little girl. Lately, the mother has only been allowing us to see her every other weekend and not any time during the week even though in Michigan, "reasonable visitation" means at minimum we can see her one day during the week and every other weekend. My husband has to fight to even get her for the weekend he is allowed. We were able to have my step daughter for thanksgiving weekend and we noticed too many changes in her. We noticed ligature marks on her ankls and a change in her eating habits. Bathtime was never a problem until this past weekend where she was petrified to even go near the tub. The mother stated to my husband that she refuses to do anything civilly and that unless he starts paying for his daughter, he won't get to see her much at all. How can I help my husband fight for custody? What can I do as a third party? My husband is the type to get frustrated and not know what to do so I have helped him do a lot of research and helped him keep track of what he buys for his daughter as well as documenting the marks on her and things that the mother says. What can I do? I feel helpless just sitting around and watching him hurt over his daughter. There is so much more to this that would take too long to post here but where can I begin... PLEASE HELP!!!!!

 

[CJane]

There is nothing YOU can do.

Please explain why DCFS wasn't called IMMEDIATELY if you saw 'ligature marks' on a 9 month old? How did you recognize 'ligature marks'?

Doesn't sound like there's a court order in place... is there? If not, mom owes dad NOTHING as far as visitation is concerned.

 

[NotSoNew]

are there any current court orders in place? if not he needs to file for visitation immediatly, the mom is not required to let him see the daughter AT ALL until he files for an is awarded visitation.

I am not sure what "ligature marks on her ankls " are, but being afraid of baths suddenly is pretty common at this age, my daughter went through it too for no reason and got over it just as quickly. Trying to fight for full custody would be a long hard, costly battle in which you would have to prove mom unfit (that she was harming her children in some way)

Mom also cannot stop dad from seeing his daughter becuase of child support, and if there is no order for it dad is not required to pay mom ANYTHING.

 

[NotSoNew]

There is nothing YOU can do.

Please explain why DCFS wasn't called IMMEDIATELY if you saw 'ligature marks' on a 9 month old? How did you recognize 'ligature marks'?

Doesn't sound like there's a court order in place... is there? If not, mom owes dad NOTHING as far as visitation is concerned.

there is something you can do, you can tell dad what he needs to do. but legally you, yourself cannot do anything.

 

[xKellyx]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I am kind-of the step mom to an almost 9 month old beautiful little girl. The mother of this child has temporary full custody. My husband didn't see his daughter until the paternity test proved she was his daughter. Since that day he has wanted to see her and spend time with her. The mother has been very sporatic in allowing him to see her. It took her over a month before she would allow us to have her overnight. We have never had a problem with this little girl. Lately, the mother has only been allowing us to see her every other weekend and not any time during the week even though in Michigan, "reasonable visitation" means at minimum we can see her one day during the week and every other weekend. My husband has to fight to even get her for the weekend he is allowed. We were able to have my step daughter for thanksgiving weekend and we noticed too many changes in her. We noticed ligature marks on her ankls and a change in her eating habits. Bathtime was never a problem until this past weekend where she was petrified to even go near the tub. The mother stated to my husband that she refuses to do anything civilly and that unless he starts paying for his daughter, he won't get to see her much at all. How can I help my husband fight for custody? What can I do as a third party? My husband is the type to get frustrated and not know what to do so I have helped him do a lot of research and helped him keep track of what he buys for his daughter as well as documenting the marks on her and things that the mother says. What can I do? I feel helpless just sitting around and watching him hurt over his daughter. There is so much more to this that would take too long to post here but where can I begin... PLEASE HELP!!!!!

ligature marks? is she chinese? japanese? how do you know that these are ligature marks, did you take pictures or seek a medical professionals opinion?


my daughter used to LOVE baths and swimming in the swimming pool, but now she hates both. That is very common.

 

[NotSoNew]

oh i looked up ligature marks, maybe it was from her socks! my daughter gets that all the time when her socks are too tight!

 

[CJane]

oh i looked up ligature marks, maybe it was from her socks! my daughter gets that all the time when her socks are too tight!

I had the same thought. At 9mos old, my kids had such fat lil ankles that socks or jammies or elastic legged jeans ALWAYS left marks.

 

[xKellyx]

oh i looked up ligature marks, maybe it was from her socks! my daughter gets that all the time when her socks are too tight!

ligature marks should cover the whole foot, if she was trying to bind them.

lig·a·ture Audio pronunciation of "ligature" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lg-chr, -chr)
n.

1. The act of tying or binding.
2.
1. A cord, wire, or bandage used for tying or binding.
2. A thread, wire, or cord used in surgery to close vessels or tie off ducts.
3. Something that unites; a bond.




either that or her foot was seperated from her leg and they had to reunite it.....I doubt either

 

[MrsK]

oh i looked up ligature marks, maybe it was from her socks! my daughter gets that all the time when her socks are too tight!

Heck, I've gotten those

It could also be from shoes...I've had shoes leave marks on my feet/ankles before.

My husbands daughter's mom used to put her in shoes that were WAY too small & tight & it left marks on her feet/ankles as well.

So it could be from that.

 

[CJane]

ligature marks should cover the whole foot

<SNIP>

either that or her foot was seperated from her leg and they had to reunite it.....I doubt either

Ligature marks would result from the child's ankles being tied together or to something as well... which is what I belive OP is implying - that the child was tied up/restrained by her ankles. And yet, DCFS wasn't calle.

 

[xKellyx]

Ligature marks would result from the child's ankles being tied together or to something as well... which is what I belive OP is implying - that the child was tied up/restrained by her ankles. And yet, DCFS wasn't calle.

well 9 month olds are so hard to control! sometimes you have to tie them up!

 

[Ohmyheaven]

It is from socks!

I have the same thing on my 5 month old. The socks left a mark and I took him to the doctor for his check up. She said it was pretty common and that the mark will soon go away.

I could not imagine the pain and suffering that I would go through if I had lost custody of my baby.

My sister committed suicide when she lost hers.

What a horrid thought, "Oh, lets just take the baby from her." Hah!

Somebody say something!

"There is nothing legally that you can do!"

Tell your husband to try being civilized with the Mom, that is the easier resolution. Treat eachother with respect even if it kills you!

 

[xKellyx]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I am kind-of the step mom to an almost 9 month old beautiful little girl. The mother of this child has temporary full custody. My husband didn't see his daughter until the paternity test proved she was his daughter. Since that day he has wanted to see her and spend time with her. The mother has been very sporatic in allowing him to see her. It took her over a month before she would allow us to have her overnight. We have never had a problem with this little girl. Lately, the mother has only been allowing us to see her every other weekend and not any time during the week even though in Michigan, "reasonable visitation" means at minimum we can see her one day during the week and every other weekend. My husband has to fight to even get her for the weekend he is allowed. We were able to have my step daughter for thanksgiving weekend and we noticed too many changes in her. We noticed ligature marks on her ankls and a change in her eating habits. Bathtime was never a problem until this past weekend where she was petrified to even go near the tub. The mother stated to my husband that she refuses to do anything civilly and that unless he starts paying for his daughter, he won't get to see her much at all. How can I help my husband fight for custody? What can I do as a third party? My husband is the type to get frustrated and not know what to do so I have helped him do a lot of research and helped him keep track of what he buys for his daughter as well as documenting the marks on her and things that the mother says. What can I do? I feel helpless just sitting around and watching him hurt over his daughter. There is so much more to this that would take too long to post here but where can I begin... PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Do you realize how hard it is for a 9 month old baby to be away from his/her mother? Her giving you every other weekend is very reasonable. Imagine how hard it is on the mother to let her baby go every other weekend. You haven't stated anything about the mother that makes her an unfit, and your husband most likely won't recieve custody. Leave the woman and her child alone.

 

[LdiJ]

oh i looked up ligature marks, maybe it was from her socks! my daughter gets that all the time when her socks are too tight!

It could also be from elastic around the bottom of her pj's or playsuit.

 

[diana.pussehl]

There is nothing YOU can do.

Please explain why DCFS wasn't called IMMEDIATELY if you saw 'ligature marks' on a 9 month old? How did you recognize 'ligature marks'?

Doesn't sound like there's a court order in place... is there? If not, mom owes dad NOTHING as far as visitation is concerned.

It is more like DAD doesn't owe MOM anything..... My husband and I noticed the marks on her ankles when we received her from the birthmother. It was nothing we did..... Please understand that the situation is where the birth mother is the problem, not the birthfather.