How to notify court of noncompliance

[empressj]

You really seemed focused on the point that dad hasn't seen the kids in two months...in a pandemic. Have you considered that it might be better for the kids to not further the possibilities for exposure to the virus?
I am getting the sense that you are bitter that dad doesn't give you a "break" from the kids.

And if I came on here and said I thought it was better that he NOT see the kids during the pandemic, I would be viewed in this forum as wanting to keep the kids from him.

 

[Zigner]

And if I came on here and said I thought it was better that he NOT see the kids during the pandemic, I would be viewed in this forum as wanting to keep the kids from him.

That exact question came up not too long ago with what amounts to a split opinion on the matter. In any case, you really seem to want to FORCE dad to take his visitation time...which you can't do.

 

[empressj]

Here is the EXACT message that was sent to him (minus his state) I'm sure some of will find fault with it. But I basically outlined his choices and allowed HIM to choose.

The boys are anxious to see you. Let’s determine the plan for their transportation soon.

My sister in law who is a nurse at a hospital provided information on the safest options. Here is a list of options, in order of safest to least safe.

#1. You can fly to Florida and stay in Florida for the 60 day stay with the kids.

#2. You can fly to Florida, pick up the kids (I can meet you at the airport) and fly them back to XX on an airline that is practicing social distancing, preferably on a non-stop flight.

#3. You can drive to Florida and transport the kids in the car. This would involve multiple restroom and restaurant stops, and possibly a hotel stop.

I will work with you on whatever you decide.

I have masks and goggles and am happy to give them to you. I was told that at hospitals, they are concerned that the virus can be transmitted through the eyes, and my SIL recommends both a mask and eye protection.

Whatever way you decide to get the kids to XX, please inform me of your plan for returning them to me 60 days later. If you plan to fly them, please reserve their return flights soon. Our agreement allows for 60 days of uninterrupted visitation (with me seeing them one weekend a month, which at this time, I do not believe will be safe for them or me). This means that if you pick them up on 5/25, they should be returned by 7/23.

 

[empressj]

That exact question came up not too long ago with what amounts to a split opinion on the matter. In any case, you really seem to want to FORCE dad to take his visitation time...which you can't do.

I would certainly BEG him to take it if I could.
But he will do what he wants.

Please see my pasted OFW message. I basically outlined all of the choices after discussing it with a nurse. I also made it clear that I would work with him whatever choice he made.

I also offered to GIVE him safety gear.

Not sure what else you would request that I do. The ball is in his court.

If he does not come to see the kids, I am keeping them. It's not like I'm putting them out on the street with their bags. You're pretty silly in your assumptions.

 

[empressj]

Also, which one is it? Am I an overprotective, clingy mother? Or am I begging him to take the kids? I can't be both, can I?

 

[Zigner]

Somebody mentioned above (paraphrasing) that the more you say, the worse you look.

You DON'T get to choose what dad does with the kids. What if dad wanted to pick up the kids and spend his time elsewhere with them? What if dad wanted to fly part of the trip and drive part of the trip? What if dad doesn't want to acquiesce to your demands for any variety of reasons?

Is it possible that dad is just tired of your attempts to control his time with his children?


(Yes, that's how you're coming across.)

 

[Zigner]

If he does not come to see the kids, I am keeping them. It's not like I'm putting them out on the street with their bags. You're pretty silly in your assumptions.

Huh? I never made that assumption. Your nature seems to be that you force your opinion on others.

 

[empressj]

Somebody mentioned above (paraphrasing) that the more you say, the worse you look.

You DON'T get to choose what dad does with the kids. What if dad wanted to pick up the kids and spend his time elsewhere with them? What if dad wanted to fly part of the trip and drive part of the trip? What if dad doesn't want to acquiesce to your demands for any variety of reasons?

Is it possible that dad is just tired of your attempts to control his time with his children?


(Yes, that's how you're coming across.)

My message says I WILL WORK WITH YOU WHATEVER YOU DECIDE.

If he wants to take them to Alaska, I'm fine with it. Whatever he wants.

Why would you assume that I'm not fine with it would be my question?

If you thought my message sounds controlling, I suggest you check your own control issues. You may have some. I have absolutely zero control here. He may or may not show up here to pick up the kids on 5/25 or anytime before or after and I have no control over it. I have no say in it whatsoever, and until she shows up or doesn't show up, I cannot make any plans for myself or the kids otherwise. He can do what he wants when he wants, how he wants, and where he wants.

I'm surprised that your focus is on WHO is in control instead of what the poor kids think when things like this happen. They are confused, worried, and off-balance because they don't know when or if they will see their dad, and I cannot offer any consolation or reassurance.

It's the kids that matter here. Not Dad or Mom or who is in control of who.

Do they get summer with their dad? Do they not? Where do they go? I don't know.

I'll let you know when I do!

 

[Zigner]

My message says I WILL WORK WITH YOU WHATEVER YOU DECIDE.

Your message says you will work with whatever he decides within the three options you presented.

This forum has known you for a very short time and we only know you by what you present and how you present it. I know nothing about you beyond that. I understand that what I have said doesn't feel good and that is making you defensive, but I would suggest that you step back and take the time to absorb what you are being told rather than ignoring it with a wall of defensiveness. This is, after all, not about you, right?

 

[stealth2]

Oooooookay, never mind.