How to prove a "romantic interest" violation?

[Shay-Pari'e]

So you don't want him to have someone he is in love with and has respect for in the house when the kid is there, but you don't mind if he bangs women that he has no feelings for in his house.
It's not parental neglect to find a person that you are happy with! In some families the stepparent can be more beneficiary that the bioparent. You need to accept the fact that he left and found someone he's happy with. Behaving you way is extremly unhealthy and will only plant a seed of distrust, disfunction and hatred inside your kid, and the kid deserves a lot better than that. Maybe you will never find someone new to love, but that's no reason for your ex to spend his life the same way.

AHA,

With much love, I gotta tell you it is HIM posting about her.

It really doesn't matter as I share the same thoughts.

 

[Kansas4me]

Maybe if the guy posted it all together we could read the history. Instead he went and posted JUST THIS part so that was all I could go on.

I stand on my comments. I question if the guy is really trying to keep his kids away from a bad situation or not. If they guy was a known drug dealer, he wouldn't be here getting advice, he would have the cops helping him out. I have seen to many stalkers in my life. And this reeks of it. Saw the exact same thing play out with my sister.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

People post things separately for a reason, sometimes when their credibility or intentions are at question as in this case. OP is trying to work the system and for some reason thinks that gaining sympathy here will change the outcome in reality.

 

[bd420]

the guy was over during parenting time within 4

You have got to be kidding me? How does the kid ever learn how to have a real lasting relationship if all they ever got to see was your failure of one! Kids learn by example, you are now cutting off chances for them to learn how to behave without yelling screaming and fighting.

I just hate to read about this stuff. The way adults result to petty childish things to try and get back at the other. No third party romantic interests around the child, and since you are so quick to jump on how to prove it it must have come from you. I say grow up and get over it, she is no longer yours and your attempts to control her life are simply going to end up costing you your childs respect, and possibly your childs chances at a healthy relationship when they get older.

weeks of the date of separation. My son broke down and cried at the counselors bc the guy brought over mommy flowers, my son said this all seems too soon. So, just move on anyways, should I quit going to family counseling as well??!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

weeks of the date of separation. My son broke down and cried at the counselors bc the guy brought over mommy flowers, my son said this all seems too soon. So, just move on anyways, should I quit going to family counseling as well??!!

So? There was no order preventing it and comming over with flowers is a far cry from being a drug pusher. Children resist the separation of their parents even when the situation is unhealthy, it is what they know. What you are doing is harmful to your child. You definately need counseling.

 

[ENASNI]

so ken

So its not about the drugs.

No stup, don't stop going to counselling, but your son is going to have to know that things are going to move on...
What are you never going to go on a date again?

Have fun being celibate... I hear there is a monastery opening up near the Hooters down the street from your house.

 

[bd420]

I have filed a formal complaint with the authorities

Maybe if the guy posted it all together we could read the history. Instead he went and posted JUST THIS part so that was all I could go on.

I stand on my comments. I question if the guy is really trying to keep his kids away from a bad situation or not. If they guy was a known drug dealer, he wouldn't be here getting advice, he would have the cops helping him out. I have seen to many stalkers in my life. And this reeks of it. Saw the exact same thing play out with my sister.

in regards to the drugs, I am going to be going for Full Custody now that she so alarmingly 'gave' me joint physical after about the 3rd week of dating her new man, so I kinda doubt they are in any kind of love. She had the kids 9 overnites out of 14 to start with, and she suddenly changed her mind, said it wasn't going to 'work out' and that I needed to have the kids more. Then she changed the schedule promptly so that the MOST overnites in succession is only 3, ie, we have 6 dropoffs every 14 days. My guess is that her new bf said he can't handle the kids over all the time, so switch the schedule, or I'm outta here, so, she did. How many moms give joint physical to the dad within a few weeks of having them MORE than that, voluntarily?!! I can't imagine too many.

 

[bd420]

It's a small town, and she's not exactly being covert

I'm not going to advise you on that, as I think you need to grow up and let your X move on. We've only heard your story you know.

You seem to know her every move and that is a little creepy.

She's on drunk driving probation, yet she's frequenting any one of 4 bars where I know the owners and some patrons, not real hard to hear about her exploits.

Myself, my family, and both mine and our mutual friends are concerned for our kids safety, their emotional scars that she's already inflictling, her lying to the church about my other childs pre-communion class being cancelled when it wasn't (violation), so she could meet her bf at the bar (violation), and later have her Crystal Meth addicted sister of 6 years drive them home after she was also drinking with my wife (violation x 2), I guess that is creepy to you?!

I realize you regular posters here a lot of one-sided crap on this board, and I've already experienced, as I knew I would, a lot of cynics in all professional settings that I've approached in regards to our situation, however, I'm just looking for advice from what I thought would be yet another possible source where people would actually give the poster the benefit of the doubt, instead, I'm getting the CSI run around.

Like I have time to make up crap about my wife, what good is that going to do on a freakin' message board?! The perspective on some of these posts are absurd, I understand some guarded cynicism, but to the extent I'm reading here is beyond my realm of comprehension.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

in regards to the drugs, I am going to be going for Full Custody now that she so alarmingly 'gave' me joint physical after about the 3rd week of dating her new man, so I kinda doubt they are in any kind of love. She had the kids 9 overnites out of 14 to start with, and she suddenly changed her mind, said it wasn't going to 'work out' and that I needed to have the kids more. Then she changed the schedule promptly so that the MOST overnites in succession is only 3, ie, we have 6 dropoffs every 14 days. My guess is that her new bf said he can't handle the kids over all the time, so switch the schedule, or I'm outta here, so, she did. How many moms give joint physical to the dad within a few weeks of having them MORE than that, voluntarily?!! I can't imagine too many.

It happens all the time, when possible and both parties willing, now that you have that you want to spoil it? GROW UP, the judge will be angry with all your antics with mom very graciously allowing you joint custody even with all your bad intentions. Stipulating to joint custody isn't grounds for sole custody and the judge would wait a time to see how things go. ENASNI makes a good point about your love life? You will be very unattractive to future partners with your manipulative traits.

 

[bd420]

Thank you!, This is soooo not petty

Perhaps you should read the history behind the situation before spouting off your nonsense. This isn't quite the petty, childish scenario you'd like to make it.

My hands are tied, I can't grab the drugs out of her house, I can't talk to Bayanet (Bay Area Narcotics) and blow some covert info they have on her bf, my wife won't listen that she's making mistakes and lying, I can't perform a PE on her sister, I can't perform an MRI for brain damage on her sister, I can't prevent her sister from driving or taking care of my kids, I can't bust her for violating her OUIL probation, I can't tell God that she lied to the church, all I can do is be ALONE with my kids during parenting time, and tell them that mom is the greatest parent in the world. This situation just sux.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

So its not about the drugs.

No stup, don't stop going to counselling, but your son is going to have to know that things are going to move on...
What are you never going to go on a date again?

Have fun being celibate... I hear there is a monastery opening up near the Hooters down the street from your house.

One of the many uses of Duct tape

 

[rmet4nzkx]

She's on drunk driving probation, yet she's frequenting any one of 4 bars where I know the owners and some patrons, not real hard to hear about her exploits.

Myself, my family, and both mine and our mutual friends are concerned for our kids safety, their emotional scars that she's already inflictling, her lying to the church about my other childs pre-communion class being cancelled when it wasn't (violation), so she could meet her bf at the bar (violation), and later have her Crystal Meth addicted sister of 6 years drive them home after she was also drinking with my wife (violation x 2), I guess that is creepy to you?!

I realize you regular posters here a lot of one-sided crap on this board, and I've already experienced, as I knew I would, a lot of cynics in all professional settings that I've approached in regards to our situation, however, I'm just looking for advice from what I thought would be yet another possible source where people would actually give the poster the benefit of the doubt, instead, I'm getting the CSI run around.

Like I have time to make up crap about my wife, what good is that going to do on a freakin' message board?! The perspective on some of these posts are absurd, I understand some guarded cynicism, but to the extent I'm reading here is beyond my realm of comprehension.

You need proof and you don't have it, the judge has already considered the proof and made his ruling. Cry all you want, it don't change the facts or that you have no proof that will stand up in court.

 

[ENASNI]

Told ya

One of the many uses of Duct tape

Wondrous thing... hundreds...no thousands of uses.
Gonna start recommending it to the parents of teens that want to be emancipated.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Wondrous thing... hundreds...no thousands of uses.
Gonna start recommending it to the parents of teens that want to be emancipated.

Only thing it is not good for is Ducts or as packing tape. In the afore mentioned application, it is best with body hair intact, e.g. no Brazilian bikini waxing

 

[bd420]

2 answer a few questions...

It happens all the time, when possible and both parties willing, now that you have that you want to spoil it? GROW UP, the judge will be angry with all your antics with mom very graciously allowing you joint custody even with all your bad intentions. Stipulating to joint custody isn't grounds for sole custody and the judge would wait a time to see how things go. ENASNI makes a good point about your love life? You will be very unattractive to future partners with your manipulative traits.

Of course, my 'estranged' wife (is that better?) could have her new bf over during parenting time on the very first day, all I'm pointing out, is that you'd be hard pressed to find 1 single LPC that says this is a healthy mental environment for the kids, hell, you guys make it sound like it should be recommended, what else should they do in front of my kids, hold hands, drop tongue, clear off the coffee table and begin the throws of passion?! I realize I can't stop her with the temp ct order, which is why i put it in there. Why not wait, oh, I dunno, 6 to 9 months (not exactly a lifetime) to introduce the sig other DURING parenting time, while enjoying the bf during those 6 to 9 months DURING NON-Parenting time. The relationship is still in tact, the kids aren't uncomfortable, and I'm happy the kids aren't crying, all is better, why is this so unreasonable?

In regards to my love life, when the time comes, I will start out during non-parenting time, at some point I'll ask the kids if they'd like to meet her, if they say yes, I'll have her over, and after she leaves, I'm going to ask them how they felt about her being there. If they say they were uncomfortable, or it was weird to see me with her, etc, then I will revert back to only seeing her during non-parenting time until which point my children are able to accept it better. Is that wrong too?