Idaho - Change of circumstance

[DDV2002]

Good morning, my divorce was finalized due to default. I was homeless and had no way to appear though I tried my best. I had no legal representation as pro bono legal aid declined my case, and I can't pay a lawyer.

After defaulting, I was finally housed, and I filed a change in circumstances so I can see my children more than every other weekend for 8 hours only. My ex countered with a motion to dismiss predicated on his belief that my circumstances haven't changed. He used that wording a lot in his motion "I believe" and "I suspect" but offering no proof.

His goal is to block visitation with me completely, and he has tried several times in the past to withhold visitation. What do I do? I'm so lost. Thank you for reading, I appreciate this resource, and you.

 

[Just Blue]

Good morning, my divorce was finalized due to default. I was homeless and had no way to appear though I tried my best. I had no legal representation as pro bono legal aid declined my case, and I can't pay a lawyer.

After defaulting, I was finally housed, and I filed a change in circumstances so I can see my children more than every other weekend for 8 hours only. My ex countered with a motion to dismiss predicated on his belief that my circumstances haven't changed. He used that wording a lot in his motion "I believe" and "I suspect" but offering no proof.

His goal is to block visitation with me completely, and he has tried several times in the past to withhold visitation. What do I do? I'm so lost. Thank you for reading, I appreciate this resource, and you.

When did your divorce become final? Has your custody case been adjudicated? If so what is the current order?

 

[DDV2002]

It was finalized November 21, 2018. The current order states I can visit with the children 2 counties away in their home county, for 8 hours from 10am to 6 pm every other Saturday. I don't know if this matters but it's a hardship to do so as I can't drive (disability), and everything available to do is twice to three times as expensive with no free options during the winter. Everything has been finalized and sent out as of November 26, 2018.

 

[Zigner]

How do you expect to spend MORE time with the children if you don't/can't spend the time that you presently have?

 

[DDV2002]

I can spend time with them. ??? I just said the current order was a hardship because I don't drive but have transportation, and there aren't free/low cost options where they live. I'm requesting overnight visitation because there are parks and rec options here and I can get discounted tickets to attractions. They live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I live in a city. I was probably less than clear, but spending more time with them would ease my situation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I can spend time with them. ??? I just said the current order was a hardship because I don't drive but have transportation, and there aren't free/low cost options where they live. I'm requesting overnight visitation because there are parks and rec options here and I can get discounted tickets to attractions. They live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I live in a city. I was probably less than clear, but spending more time with them would ease my situation.

You're so wrong in so many ways, it is hard to know where to start.

It's supposed to be about the kids - not you. Everything you have discussed - the "change of circumstances" which isn't a coc for the children), why you want more parenting time, etc. it's all about you.

Do your best to get more solidly on your own feet, exercise every minute of visitation that you possibly can, and remember: you're the one that created your situation. The CP and kids didn't move. You did. Your hardship is irrelevant because you created the distance.

Now, answer this: how long have you been sober?

 

[Just Blue]

It was finalized November 21, 2018. The current order states I can visit with the children 2 counties away in their home county, for 8 hours from 10am to 6 pm every other Saturday. I don't know if this matters but it's a hardship to do so as I can't drive (disability), and everything available to do is twice to three times as expensive with no free options during the winter. Everything has been finalized and sent out as of November 26, 2018.

In your opening post you stated that you filed for more parenting time...Has that case been heard? If so, what is the outcome? If not, what is the court date?

 

[DDV2002]

I'm honestly confused here, I'm not an addict. I didn't create the distance, my ex moved the kids away from the city we were both living in before the divorce was even filed. I fled a domestic violence situation, and had no support system so I was homeless, my family is 2000 miles away. I've never touched drugs or alcohol.

 

[Just Blue]

I can spend time with them. ??? I just said the current order was a hardship because I don't drive but have transportation, and there aren't free/low cost options where they live. I'm requesting overnight visitation because there are parks and rec options here and I can get discounted tickets to attractions. They live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I live in a city. I was probably less than clear, but spending more time with them would ease my situation.

How would spending more time with the children "ease" your situation? What do you mean by that?

 

[DDV2002]

I filed for more parenting time, but had to prove a change in my circumstances (not homeless now). He filed to dismiss, within his 21 day response window, and that will be heard Jan 22.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm honestly confused here, I'm not an addict. I didn't create the distance, my ex moved the kids away from the city we were both living in before the divorce was even filed. I fled a domestic violence situation, and had no support system so I was homeless, my family is 2000 miles away. I've never touched drugs or alcohol.

Did you take the children with you when you fled the DV situation? If not...Why would you leave the children with a dangerous and violent man?

 

[DDV2002]

I have to pay for transportation for a 60 mile drive, and there are no free or low cost options for entertainment in his area. They have a McDonalds that's pretty much it. Round trip transportation is cheaper, and there are free or low cost options to spend quality time with the kids here. I'm spending more money every other weekend and having to choose not to eat myself so I can visit my children whereas if I had overnight visitation I'd spend about half.

 

[DDV2002]

I did take my kids. When I offered him visitation he withdrew them from school and moved out of the city. Shortly after I lost my home after a car accident (lost job), and I can no longer drive. I have since found employment, low hours but it pays rent, filed for a prior service connected disability, and I start university next week. I am still told I am not fit to see the kids because I lived on the streets for four months.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm honestly confused here, I'm not an addict. I didn't create the distance, my ex moved the kids away from the city we were both living in before the divorce was even filed. I fled a domestic violence situation, and had no support system so I was homeless, my family is 2000 miles away. I've never touched drugs or alcohol.

Good: you don't have a substance abuse problem.

Not good: Because he moved before divorce was even filed, you essentially allowed that situation to become status quo.

Is anyone but your ex saying that you are unfit? If son who?

While I think that your "change of circumstance" is not a great argument, legally, his response is also completely off. Maybe a judge will see differently. Good luck on that.

Exercise as much visitation as possible. Stay active in the kids lives as much as possible. For example, if they are enrolled in school, make sure you have access to online info and are getting parent mailings.

Because you have a long road ahead, research "change of circumstance" and what it is - because you don't seem to grasp it at all.

 

[DDV2002]

No just my ex. Maybe I don't understand. The court documentation I have says visitation is awarded for the times listed and in the county listed. Once I have achieved a significant change in circumstances I could apply for modifications to visitation. I was awarded joint legal custody, and have made a point to be active, and engaged in my kids lives. When I went to the courthouse, that was the paperwork I was given, so that's why I came here. I'm obviously not a lawyer.