insurance fraud

[huskerfan41]

I support Step-Mothers

This is huskerfan <----------- reaching in with a helping hand to pull tennisgirl out of this ****hole....

I think most of the people who are replying in this instance, have their heads up their asses --

What do you mean that Step-Mothers have no rights -- do you live in the land of Cinderalla????

Do you honestly believe that the only thing we are good for is to work 40+ hours a week to help pay the child support owed by our husbands, raise his children on top of our children, cook dinner for his children, do his children's laundry, put up with his Ex's ****, and the list goes on and on....

What kind of world are you living in anyway -- obviously the land of Cinderalla (fairytale land).

Maybe you have never had a psycho-bitch-from-hell -- or a waste-of-flesh ex....

Good for you.

But, this is me -- pulling my friend tennisgirl out of this hell hole.

Good Day.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:


huskerfan41, you said - -

"What do you mean that Step-Mothers have no rights -- do you live in the land of Cinderalla????"


Please, show me, by copying and pasting here, ANY law, from ANY state that gives stepparents legal rights in any situation having to do with a stepchild, and I swear and promise on a stack of Bibles that I will never, ever say again that "a stepparent has no rights."

Don't give me your "emotional" thoughts on the matter - - cite actual law to me. Anything at all.

You see, Tennisgirl, this is your future - - emotional outbursts, with stomping feet, yelling, crying, pleading, insisting, and fighting, where there's no law to help you. You can only get into trouble.

One day, your boyfriend will ask you to help him with a problem, and you'll find information that you believe will. He'll act on that information, and it will blow up in his face. Then come the "Orders to Show Cause" along with litigation discovery. In "discovery", if I find out the wrongful information emanated from you, that's when I, as an attorney, start coming after you will both barrels. That's when you, personally, get into trouble with the court. and that's when Restraining Orders get filed against you too - - which will limit your future husband's access to his child, and may also result in further limitations being ordered for his visitation; e.g., monitored visitation.

But, until that happens to you, you'll just keep on going. If you won't listen to me now, you'll be hearing this in your head years from now - - "We told you so."

IAAL

 

[tammy8]

IAAL

I, as a wonderful caring loving bestest of them all, stepmom resemble everyone of the remarks you just made ! It is hard when you mix emotions into the factors especially with kids.

Tennis, as hard as it was for me to step away, I had for my sanity. You can encourage your boyfriend to see things your way (I do with my husband everyday ) but you do mean nothing in the court of law in regards to stepchildren. Sorry and sad but so true. You are doing the right thing in alerting the insurance company but that is as much as you should and can do. Again sorry and sad but true. You may want to look up some of the wonderful support message boards especially those geared to stepmoms. I still have what little brain that the kids haven't sucked out of me from the support I get off the stepparent boards. Good luck to you!

 

[huskerfan41]

I don't believe i stated in my post that step-mothers have legal rights....

And, if i did -- i so apologize. I realize that step-mothers have no legal rights -- in fact, we get stomped on at every given moment and blamed for failed marriages -- even if the two had been divorced for 10 years...

You see, i understand very well how you -- and probably your clients -- the pbfh -- think.

We, as step-mothers, are the scapegoats for everything.

And, you are also right -- there are many times that are now husbands ask us for advice -- and we do the research -- pay for the attornies, and it blows up in their faces -- and you're right again -- they blame us.

And, just in case you ask --

I am PRO CHILDREN, PRO FATHERS AND PRO FAMILIES. I also believe in having a "kinder, gentler nation," and am an avid advocate for second families.

Mothers and step-mothers have a huge responsibility. Children need to come first -- we need to reform the government to see that families are important -- our children need both parents and in some instances, both "sets" of parents in order survive with good GODLY morals -- and in order to stay out of trouble.

Our jails are overcrowded -- our JDH's are overcrowded. Our CHILDREN are dying in the streets -- something has happened to our country. Children have been put on the back burner. Parents are afraid to discipline their children -- and are afraid to RAISE their children.

This needs to STOP. I believe in this country -- and I believe this is One Nation UNDER GOD. We need to start reading HIS word again -- and take care of our children.

--------------

If, parents could come together in really live the true joint custody -- with 50/50 splits -- then attornies like yourself would be out of a job

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I don't believe i stated in my post that step-mothers have legal rights....

And, if i did -- i so apologize.

=================================

My response:

Don't apologize! Just explain yourself, and your words.

You said the word "rights". If you weren't talking about "legal rights", then what kind of "rights" were you talking about?

Unless both parents give you a legal "conservatorship" or "guardianship" of their child, then just what kind of "rights" do you think you have?

Please, I empathize with your thoughts, but this is a legal site. If you're not discussing a "legal basis" for your beliefs, then they're only "emotional beliefs", and in that instance, this is not the place for you.

IAAL

 

[huskerfan41]

ok -- we do have a legal right to exist -- don't we...?

And, as far as having no place in court -- we actually do -- don't we? I mean when one of the pbfhs decide to accuse one of us of something horrible -- don't we get to defend ourselves?

hmmm -- excuse me -- we do get to defend ourselves -- without counsel --

It's just about time that the courts stand up and appoint some sort of GAL for steps...

We are tired of getting the blame for everything -- and we are tired of getting slandered -- with no way to defend ourselves.

I understand where you are coming from -- really i do. And, you can appreciate (i hope) where i'm coming from -- i wasn't coming here to get advice -- only to get my friend tennis out of this forum.

BTW -- when someone does ask for legal advice -- it would be nice if you could be a little kinder .

I realize this may be hard for you -- after all you are an attorney just kidding....

 

[JETX]

Wow, this one brings out all the kooks....

Husker (first post): it is spelled CINDERELLA!! And yes, you (as a stepmother or step-girlfriend or even step-boyfriend) have NO legal rights as to the significant other and HIS/HER children.

Tammy: Good post... and you are obviously a wise and experienced person. It is apparent that you have managed to separate emotions from legalities. Well done!!

Husker (2nd post):
You said, "And, as far as having no place in court -- we actually do -- don't we? I mean when one of the pbfhs decide to accuse one of us of something horrible -- don't we get to defend ourselves?"
Answer: NO. You have NO legal place in court. You can certainly be there to add emotional support to your 'other', but you have NO legal standing.
NO. Since you have no legal standing, you do not get a chance to 'defend yourself'.

"BTW -- when someone does ask for legal advice -- it would be nice if you could be a little kinder"
Ah, but we are providing this service for free... and sometimes don't have time to hold hands, shed tears and soft-pedal the facts.

 

[tennisgirl20]

Our rights....

We have no legal rights, we are just step-people in the child's life. Be it spouses, girlfriends or what not, I think we have made it quite clear that we recognize the fact that we have no legal action to take in this situation. I don't think that was what I was looking for in the first place. I didn't come on here to find out how I could take my boyfriend's ex girlfriend to court over their child. I came on here to find out how my boyfriend could legally handle the matter of insurance fraud being committed by the child's mother.

No in fact, noone gave us any rights to these children at all. No rights but the responsibilites that we gladly accepted when it comes to bring the child home because mom needs her home sooner and dads at work, no responsiblities other than to wash clothes, take the kid school shopping, on vacations, pick them up at a moments notice because mom has an emergency. We don't have the RIGHT to love these kids either I suppose, but we do.
Thank you huskerfan for coming to my defense and getting these guys to tone it down a little....

I guess the old saying is true though, you get what you pay for.....I came onto a "free advice site" and I got bull****. Not to offend any of you legit legal advisors who do actually dispense useful, constructive wisdom, but I'm new here and all I've encountered in replies is this type of garbage. I should have known that anyone worth a dime wouldn't be hanging around something like this.

As for emotional outbursts and the like, I'm sure you're used to this type of behavior because as huskerfan implied, you're probably counsel to the manipulative, slandering exes that we've both come to detest. I do not and will not stoop to that level. I will not and have not overstepped my boundaries either. All to often we "step-parents" or whatever our unofficial title may be are the scape goat. We're sticking our nose where it doesn't belong, trying to raise/take away their child, stole their husband/boyfriend, and so on and so on. No in this situation, I will NOT mind my own business. I will support my boyfriend and whatever actions HE decides to take. He will not sit aside and let this go "for the sake of preserving the relationship" and he will not confront her with these accusations or questions so that she is on guard and unfriendly for the next year or however long it takes the insurance co. to investigate. Yes it is something that WE discussed as a couple, because that's what we do, we support each other and take on things together. It's called a relationship, not meddling. I also think it is a far wiser choice than your decision.

Thanks anyways...

P.S. Tammy...Thank you for your kind words and advice. I do understand that I have no place in a court of law in this situation...and it is exhausting spending time researching and supporting my boyfriend, hopefully problems will end or child will grow up before I totally run out of energy though. I have an absolutely WONDERFUL support group also. I don't know where I'd be without the ladies on there.

 

[ellencee]

TennisGirl20
You came to this forum hoping someone would say that the mother of your fiance's child would go to jail for seeking health care from a chiropractor instead of a medical doctor or an emergency room and that your fiance could get custody of his daughter because of this action by the mother. If you state you came here for any other reason, you lie like a rug.

This mother has the right to chose what type of health care she seeks for her daughter. If she chooses to have a chiropractor treat sinus problems, headaches, sleep disturbances, whatever, it is her right to do so. To accuse her of filing false insurance claims is quite an accusation of wrong-doing.

The only person I see in the wrong here is YOU.

The attorneys and experts who answer questions on this forum, including me as I am an expert witness and expert consultant, see the results of actions like yours every day.

LEAVE THE LITTLE GIRL ALONE and let her love and trust her mother and her father.

Before you start, I am a stepmother and I love my stepchildren and they love and respect me--and guess what? Their mother and I became and are good friends! I like the lady a lot. My husband and she did not succeed in their marriage; but, I'll give my husband credit for doing two things right in his life, choosing her and choosing me!

 

[CF Ins Person]

A product of a step-parent home

I am no legal person, but I am a product of a feuding step-parent household.

I agree with the other legal people and say butt out. I am not saying that in an evil way, but from the childs perspective. If you only knew what the children go thru when they hafta go back and forth with questions, fighting, and lies. It causes so much mental abuse you wouldn't believe. If you really love that little girl, as long as the mother is not being abusive to her, for her sake leave it alone.

I say this because my step mother was alway asking questions going back and forth with this wasn't right and that. Her and my mother at times acted like they hated each other and us, for causing pain in their lives. My father would try to stop them but it never worked. He could calm them for a minute but it always started with something stupid. Like the time stepmom bought shoes and one was lost the next weekend. Mom was said to be a bad mother that couldn't keep up with shoes. Moma stopped letting us see daddy. When we did it was more mess.

It got so bad that they awarded moma complete custody (thanks stepmom cause I really loved my dad). She kept pushing until one day in anger, she finally told my oldest sister that she had been adopted at birth by my father. Okay how in the world, or why would she do that. My sister has been crazy every since that date. My other sister is on drugs. You know what my sisters always talk about is stepmom and moma, and how crazy they were. They are still stuck in that mental situation.

After I was college age, stepmom got jealous of me. Once I got 16 I was able to go live with my dad. She was happy at first but only for a few months, then she found out she was pregnant. Oh well, she called the police on me for nothing ( during one of her mental break downs this was number one of three) while he was away and told them to put me out. I told the police I was part owner in the house so this was my property and they left me alone. She was so angry cause she didn't know I knew. I even heard her over tell a friend that she thought I was having sex with my dad. I cried for a long time off that one.

I know that these are stepmother stories from hell and you think I will never do any of this, but when you start out with suspicions you never know where they will lead.

But just take a moment and think about that little girl and how she loves her dad and even you. Don't let petty things ruin that union that you and her can have. If you really love her, don't turn her or her father against the mother.

If you are 100% positive something illegal is going on, go to him and let him handle it, but reassure him only. Let him handle it. If you really love her you will not cause friction for her. If this women has a problem for real it could really hurt this child.

Just a thought.

 

[huskerfan41]

You are correct in one thing Halket -- this one does bring out all the kooks.....

And, you are probably the kookiest.... LOL!!

You are a possibly an attorney who deals with collections -- and therefore you are an expert in family law.... hmmmm -- good thing you have the disclaimer at the end of your postings.

And, Ellencee -- i don't think you could say you possibly know tennisgirl well enough to judge her motives for posting...

hmmm, so you're an expert witness -- to what??? Are you a doctor or counselor that is often called upon in court? Great -- maybe i should know where you are exactly from so that we don't try and use you as expert testimony...

And, just to set the record straight -- i'm a mother and a step-mother -- and i get along great with the ex-wife. We all have a wonderful relationship -- and make the most out of both of our families.

BTW Halket -- just because you are not getting paid for your advice -- does not mean you cannot be kind. Or is this just your way of acting out on your notions of abuse. Is this possibly the only place you can actually get away with abuse? Because what you have instituted here clearly meets the definitions of abuse -- hmm, maybe you should look up the legal definition of verbal abuse.

I don't think this forum gives any of you the legal right to abuse the one who is asking for advice. If you don't have time to give the advice in a kind manner -- don't give any.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I don't think this forum gives any of you the legal right to abuse the one who is asking for advice. If you don't have time to give the advice in a kind manner -- don't give any.

My response:

Translation - - If you don't want to tell Tennisgirl what she wants to read, don't bother writing because anything else is "abuse."

IAAL

 

[huskerfan41]

Oh really..... That's what the transalation means? hmmm...

Just in case you didn't think I'd do my homework -- i've looked up some legal definitions of abuse. They include:

"Verbal abuse includes withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, diverting, lying, berating, taunting, putting down, edifying, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging."

----------

I would just challenge you -- on an emotional basis only -- not asking for your legal opinion here -- to look back at some of the posted replies to tennisgirl -- and then tell me that there hasn't been a little bit of abuse going on here....

Surely, you can see some bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, accusing, blaming, countering, berating, taunting, putting down, discounting and even some name-calling being done by Halket -- and even yourself in one of your posts wherein you tell Halket what a step-mother really does...

All i'm asking for is that you think about how your replies affect a person.

Do I think I'll change your opinions -- or the way in which you behave -- no. But at least give it a thought.

I've looked at your profile IAAL -- you seem like you are more than qualified to perform your assumed duties here. -- And, i would respect most of your legal opinions. I work in a law office -- i know that your hearts can get hardened -- and you can just get "fed up" with the entire human race. But, there are times when you must let your "emotions" see through to the truth -- and let your heart guide your voice.

 

[JETX]

Another example of 'visions of grandeur' (or maybe just 'visions').... Husker writes:
"Great -- maybe i should know where you are exactly from so that we don't try and use you as expert testimony..."

Who is 'we'?? You make this sound like you are some attorney out looking for an expert witness... when you are really just someone who refuses (or is unable) to understand..... as a wife or girlfriend of a parent you have NO legal rights in the affairs of him, his children or his 'ex'.

Go find another 'axe' to grind... this one is sharp enough!

 

[huskerfan41]

Oh, i'm sorry Halket -- I guess I forgot to mention -- that in fact, I am a paralegal in Oregon -- and I often do the research for our law firm to obtain expert testimony.

Our firm handles family law, med malpractice (defense), and other fields.

I'm sorry you misunderstood.