Is it illegal for my 19 yo daughter and her 17 yo boyfriend to hold hands at school?

[cbg]

Supply some support for that statement, please. Are you suggesting that a parent is not entitled to control who their minor child has contact with? If so, please provide a link to the law that says so.

And otherwise, hush your muffin.

 

[CdwJava]

Well, it would not be a CRIME for the two to hold hands, so short of grounding the minor there may not be a whole lot for the parents to do. And no restraining order is likely to issue because the two are holding hands at school or elsewhere.

This is an issue that the minor's parents are going to have to address through their child, and, perhaps, at school ... if the school wants to get in the middle of it.

 

[mistoffolees]

Age of consent in OK is 16 for intercourse. Holding hands? Give me a break. The boy's parents can't do anything.

Sure they can. They can ground the kid until he's 18.

Then, if the girl keeps seeing him against their wishes, they can get a restraining order against her - which could mess up her life for a long time.

 

[CdwJava]

I find it unlikely that a court would find that the minor boy is at risk from a 19 year old girl holding his hand. I am unaware o fa state that would issue a restraining order on such grounds, but, some judges hold their own opinions and might do about anything.

 

[Alex1176]

Supply some support for that statement, please. Are you suggesting that a parent is not entitled to control who their minor child has contact with? If so, please provide a link to the law that says so.

And otherwise, hush your muffin.

Can you please provide a link showing that a parent can issue RO against anybody that the minor has a contact with? And a precedent for a RO against young adult holding hands with somebody in her high-school?
Thank you.

 

[cbg]

Look, I think we all agree that a couple of kids holding hands is not going to bring about the end of the world and the parents are overreacting.

That does not change the fact that legally, until the kid is 18, Mom and Dad get to say no. They are allowed to parent their kid, and if they say, you can't see 19 year old girlfriend, then guess what, he can't see 19 year old girlfriend.

The age of consent and the age of majority are not the same thing. The age of consent is the age at which a partner will not be thrown in jail for having sexual contact with you. But the age of majority is the age at which a kid no longer has to do what his parents say.

The age of majority in OK is 18.

Oklahoma Age of Majority Law - Age of Majority - Minors

http://www.okbar.org/public/lre/LegalGuide18

18 and 16 | Sexlaws.org

16 year old and 22 year old | Sexlaws.org

 

[Proserpina]

This is a minor.

In virtually every state I'm aware of - there may be exceptions - the parent does not have to articulate a threat to the minor in order to restrain another adult from contacting the minor against the parent's wishes.

The parent has absolute control here.

ETA: I'd just like to confirm that this holds true for PA, ND, NJ, WA and OR. A parent can absolutely obtain such a restraining order without having to prove any threat to the minor.

 

[Alex1176]

This is a minor.

In virtually every state - there may be exceptions - the parent does not have to articulate a threat to the minor in order to restrain another adult from contacting the minor against the parent's wishes.

The parent has absolute control here.

ETA: I'd just like to confirm that this holds true for PA, ND, NJ, WA and OR. A parent can absolutely obtain such a restraining order without having to prove any threat to the minor.

Can you please provide a link? It's interesting if a parent in those states can ruin someones background just like that without warning.

 

[mistoffolees]

This is a minor.

In virtually every state - there may be exceptions - the parent does not have to articulate a threat to the minor in order to restrain another adult from contacting the minor against the parent's wishes.

The parent has absolute control here.

ETA: I'd just like to confirm that this holds true for PA, ND, NJ, WA and OR. A parent can absolutely obtain such a restraining order without having to prove any threat to the minor.

Unfortunately, in OP's state, I think they do have to show a risk of harm:
Oklahoma Statutes

Restraining Order Laws in Oklahoma | eHow.com

How to Get a Restraining Order in Oklahoma

Granted, the parents can still ground the kid and take away all of his privileges if they feel that it's a hill worth dying on.

 

[Proserpina]

Alex, I'm actually in possession of a copy of a RO issued in WA state.

It involves a very close family member and the RO itself pertains to her minor child.

I don't know you well enough to give you the minutiae, but there are more than a few seniors on the board who are familiar with the situation.

The RO was granted after one hearing, and the mother in the case simply requested that the court order that the defendant - her ex-husband who is NOT the child's father - is to have no contact with with minor child (along with the standard verbiage that comes along with these things - no third party contact, etc.,).

Now I will clarify one thing.

Mom in this case had requested that her stbx stop contacting the child's sitter. He did contact the sitter. But in Mom's paperwork there was no threat articulated.

A case of "You asked him to stop? And he didn't? Fine. Granted".

That seems to be a big factor here. Did the parents request that the adult stop contact? Yes? Did the person stop contact? No? Then bingo!

 

[CdwJava]

This is a minor.

In virtually every state I'm aware of - there may be exceptions - the parent does not have to articulate a threat to the minor in order to restrain another adult from contacting the minor against the parent's wishes.

The parent has absolute control here.

ETA: I'd just like to confirm that this holds true for PA, ND, NJ, WA and OR. A parent can absolutely obtain such a restraining order without having to prove any threat to the minor.

Care to provide a cite to those states? What I read on each of them some threat is still required even for the harassment orders. I cannot find any order that says a parent can use the court to prohibit even an adult from non-violent, non-threatening, nor non-detrimental contact. I hate to say it, but I think you might be mistaken on this ... or reaching far into the theoretically possible though not explicitly permitted. I will agree that, in theory, a court can issue such an order, but in reality I cannot imagine it being done with the only claim being that a 19 year old girl is holding a 17 year old's hand and talking to her at school or even elsewhere. So long as the adult is not encouraging the minor to be delinquent somehow, I just do not see it happening.

I'm looking at the statutes for harassment orders in Washington state (9A.46 and 10.14) and it generally articulates a number of things none of which applies here.

In fact, 10.14.040 requires that parent petitioner state how contact with the party to be restrained might be "detrimental" to the child. Holding hands and talking probably wouldn't cut it.

But, of course, the OP lives in another state so the RCW would not apply. I know that in my state the 17 year old's parents could not get such an order without more.

But, a judge could do anything so it is always possible, even if not probable.

 

[Proserpina]

Care to provide a cite to those states? What I read on each of them some threat is still required even for the harassment orders. I cannot find any order that says a parent can use the court to prohibit even an adult from non-violent, non-threatening, nor non-detrimental contact. I hate to say it, but I think you might be mistaken on this ... or reaching far into the theoretically possible though not explicitly permitted. I will agree that, in theory, a court can issue such an order, but in reality I cannot imagine it being done with the only claim being that a 19 year old girl is holding a 17 year old's hand and talking to her at school or even elsewhere. So long as the adult is not encouraging the minor to be delinquent somehow, I just do not see it happening.

I'm looking at the statutes for harassment orders in Washington state (9A.46 and 10.14) and it generally articulates a number of things none of which applies here.

In fact, 10.14.040 requires that parent petitioner state how contact with the party to be restrained might be "detrimental" to the child. Holding hands and talking probably wouldn't cut it.

But, of course, the OP lives in another state so the RCW would not apply. I know that in my state the 17 year old's parents could not get such an order without more.

But, a judge could do anything so it is always possible, even if not probable.

Please read my later post. I'm not mistaken, CDW.

I can PM you with the particulars if required.

I'm not personally referring to the OP's situation. I'm merely responding to Alex's line of questioning. The bottom line is - in this state as well as several others - the parent does not have to articulate a threat in order to obtain a restraining order on behalf of the minor child/ren against an adult. Unwanted contact is often all that is needed.

 

[Just Blue]

I think )) we can all agree that adults would be wise to NOT to go against the parents of a minor.

 

[CdwJava]

Please read my later post. I'm not mistaken, CDW.

I can PM you with the particulars if required.

I'm not personally referring to the OP's situation. I'm merely responding to Alex's line of questioning. The bottom line is - in this state as well as several others - the parent does not have to articulate a threat in order to obtain a restraining order on behalf of the minor child/ren against an adult. Unwanted contact is often all that is needed.

The situation you mention was different ... it involved an ex-hubby making contact with a child that is not his own ... that's creepy using the reasonable person standard, and there would appear to be no reasonable explanation for his actions.

But, in a situation involving two high school students holding hands? I'm sorry, but I just doubt that order will issue absent some other "threat" or potential complication even in a state like WA.

I agree that the adult should heed the wishes of the minor's parents. But, I also do not see that hitting the 19 year old girl with a sledgehammer that can ruin her life for holding hands and talking with a kid she attends school with and talks to is the answer. Mom and dad need should put the hammer down on junior. This is not a matter that would appear to need a court solution.

 

[mistoffolees]

I think we can drop the discussion about WA, PA, MD and wherever else we're talking about. OP is in OK and I provided the OK statutes. The parents need to show a risk of harm in order to get an RO.

Now, if the two are doing more than holding hands, it becomes a bit more possible. If they're having sex, it very well might be possible.