Is This Criminal Harassment?

[Ohiogal]

I recommend you stop junk mail and catalogs from coming to your home.

Then you should take a long hard look at your relationship.

You have no legal action to pursue against anyone, based on what you have stated so far.

Yes she does... she can file a divorce against her husband who sounds like a pathetic example of a human being. He cheated on her and was gaslighting his mistress and he refuses to say he is sorry because he will never apologize to anyone? And he has a badge? Good grief. May the former mistress go to his command with his behavior and hopefully he gets suspended or fired.

 

[quincy]

Yes she does... she can file a divorce against her husband who sounds like a pathetic example of a human being. He cheated on her and was gaslighting his mistress and he refuses to say he is sorry because he will never apologize to anyone? And he has a badge? Good grief. May the former mistress go to his command with his behavior and hopefully he gets suspended or fired.

Ah, yes. Divorce. Good point.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Sure the OP can get a divorce and one would have to assume she knows that. But getting a divorce is no guarantee that stuff from the crazy lady will stop.

 

[commentator]

Quote: "I'd like to think he won't cheat."

If anybody in this scenario gets committed, it won't be the ex (or maybe not) girlfriend. This poor poster is letting her mind run away with her. And really, play it out. So suppose you, as you want to, managed to get the IP address of the person who subscribed you to Victoria's Secret and it turned out to be her. So what? You certainly couldn't go to court and complain. "Judge, I want this person punished, she's sending magazines to my husband in a clever crafty attempt to break us up by making me jealous!" Can you see how doggone silly this all is?

If your husband wants to cheat, he'll cheat. Bet on it. He may, at this minute, be cheating on you with someone you haven't even been thinking about while you wasted all this time effort and mental energy on the ex girlfriend and what she's supposedly doing to you. See, there's no nailing it all down and making it go away. If he wanted to apologize, he'd apologize. What he's got going is you being crazy in one way and his ex girlfriend being crazy in another way (can you see any common thread here? Like HIM?)

Please forget the legalities of chasing this other woman, who is probably just one among many of his conquests and trophies, and work on yourself and getting yourself to a healthy place. He is right about your not being able to get the IP address and what I'll tell you is that it is NOT important anyway. The less he encourages you to do this chasing of petty details about the old girlfriend, the MORE confidence you can have in him as it is to his credit that he's not encouraging you to act crazy as you seem to want to!

 

[xylene]

Although it is site policy to be WICKED indignant about adultery, I missed the part where the OP refereed to the cheater as her husband or even a man.

Nevermind

 

[commentator]

Sure the OP can get a divorce and one would have to assume she knows that. But getting a divorce is no guarantee that stuff from the crazy lady will stop.

His problem now, not her problem! I suspect he could stop it if he wanted to, if it is really even happening.

 

[Reginaxox]

It's really happening. And she texts him all the time from different numbers. Sometimes they are her telling him off for leading her on and other times it's accusing him of causing her emotional distress. Some of the texts he wouldn't let me see then he finally did.

They are riddled with examples of how he cheated on me. She put those in there so since we are in counseling (she knows this) that the agreement was if she texted him he had to let me see it. And not respond. So she will say "like the time you (insert sexual act)...and I get to read about it.

I said well let's then file telephone harassment on her. He says her texts aren't threatening, just letting off steam and we couldn't get any kind of restraining order or no contact or even harassment charge because one is like, you did this and this and you lied and hurt me and then it's well I'm sorry I should not act like that.

I dont want her to go to his command if he gets fired it hurts me too. I am almost 60 and he is 8 years younger. And she is 22 years younger than I am. It's hard to not think about it.

 

[Eekamouse]

Why are you letting her get to you? He chose you over her. She's angry he made the choice he made so of course, she's going to try to wreak havoc on him. Why let her get that satisfaction? Block her number. You say she's mentally unstable. Get a restraining order if you want, if it'll make you feel better. You are allowing her into your head. She wouldn't be there without your cooperation.

 

[commentator]

QUOTE: "She put those in there so since we are in counseling (she knows this) that the agreement was if she texted him he had to let me see it."

Now come on. How would she know that unless he (or the marriage counselor) had told her that? This is NOT exactly standard operating procedure for all marriage counseling. How does the counselor even know you guys text each other? How does the girlfriend know he does or does NOT agree to let you see this stuff? You're being a little wacky here, you are trying desperately to put all the blame off on this woman, who, incidentally, may or may not be actually doing or saying all this.

I'd be more worried about what he's doing than anything she's doing. Obviously, she's not the one who feels horribly insecure in this situation. Frankly, I feel like you're being gaslighted by your husband. If she "goes to his command" that is very much HI worry and his to control and deal with, NOT YOURS. And he doesn't sound worried. I agree with what he's telling you, that you cannot get a restraining order against this woman for what you imagine she is doing to you, and if you go in and start asking for one with no more than the things you've told us about here, you're going to appear to be the one who's a little bit off. Find something else to do, concentrate on more pleasant activities. If he wanted to block her texts, your husband could. If he wants to be "forced" to look at them and read them and share them with you, that is his choice.

 

[stealth2]

Also.... while it may be important (to you) that he show you her texts, you don't actually HAVE to read them. You're giving her too much rent-free space in your head.