Is this even legal?

[BelizeBreeze]

Hello... I am curious, does your daughter (16 now right?) does she know about the sperm donor?

It sounds like you have a wonderful husband who really wanted her.

If you continue with such shall we call you a piece of ass?

Get the point?

 

[Chesnee]

We were posting at the same time.

Thank you. Sometimes I have to hear/read something more than once to fully understand it. I appreciate your responses.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Also, just to make sure I am clear on this. If my ex-husband does decide to continue to fight the child support issue at hand, paternity is not an issue to be considered at this point, as the doctrine of laches would apply here as well?

1. Unreasonable lapse of time. (He filed the declaration of paternity over 15 years ago)
2. Neglect to assert a right or claim. (We divorced 5 years ago and he never contested paying support or her paternity until he realized his new job/increase in income would raise his support)
3. To the detriment of another. (Obviously if he were to stop paying support it would have a negative effect on our daughter.)

Again, I do not want to sound like I am only fighting this for the money. I would rather end this thing and agree to take less in support for her, or even no support for her at all if there were even the slightest chance that she would ever find out he is saying these things. I know that at this point he is angry about having to pay more money out ever month, but I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves this child and would do anything for her. My belief is that he is fighting against the increase in child support because his new love interest is pushing him to do so, but that is just my opinion. He has had no problems contributing to our childrens support until this new woman came along, but again, just my irrelevant opinion.

He doesn't automatically HAVE to pay any more or any less. That is up to you to file for a modification.

and I'm a little pissed that you waited until now to bring up this issue because it could have affect the answers.

At this point, if the acknowledgement of paternity is upheld, he can't now come and disestablish paternity.

 

[Chesnee]

Whoa. Missed a few posts in there. The above post of mine was direct to BelizeBreeze - again, thank you.

To msiron: Yes, she does know that she has a biological father (I have never referred to him as a sperm donor to her, she may want to pursue a relationship with him at some point in her adult life, and it is not up to me to form her opinions of him). While going through pictures in my parents photo album, she came across a picture of him and I at a Christmas party and asked who he was (she was around 5 at the time). I told her he was an old friend of mine and left it at that. Several years later, while helping her grandmother go through the photo albums and organize them into seperate albums for my siblings and I, she came across the picture again and asked again who he was. My husband (we were still married) and I sat her down and explained things to her. We also told her that if she had an interest in meeting him when she was older, that we would be supportive of that. To date, she has had no interest in meeting him. She loves her daddy, the man who loves and takes care of her, and that is enough for her at this point in her life. Someday, however, she may want to look him up, and that is her right. Also, yes my (now ex) husband does love her very much, as do his entire family. They have always known the truth of her paternity, but it never mattered to them. She is their granddaughter/niece/cousin and no one can say differently to them.

To westcoastdaddy - climb down off your high horse we did not break the law,

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Also, just to make sure I am clear on this. If my ex-husband does decide to continue to fight the child support issue at hand, paternity is not an issue to be considered at this point, as the doctrine of laches would apply here as well? Why did you not state that you were married to this guy, and that you are seeking support? I don't know about BB, but I feel that you a running one big scam.

Who is the "X"? Your husband that you speak of in your first post?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

im not going to argue with you either. you know what you did was wrong. im not the one who commited a crime, lady, YOU and your husband did. good luck trying to stay out of jail.

Kelly, go take your medication for your multiple personality disorder, and go away. YOU are not wanted here, and YOU are not liked here.

Would it help you if the forum took a vote on what I just said?

 

[Chesnee]

and I'm a little pissed that you waited until now to bring up this issue because it could have affect the answers.

Belize, please explain. I had posted this in my topic in the child support forum, which you responded to. I'm sorry, I just assumed you had read the whole thing.

I did not ask for modification, he did, thinking that he could somehow get his support lowered. However, the magestrate came back with very different figures that what he had calculated before submitting for the modification. (He didn't have the proper income for me when he did his calculations, it was a mistake on his part for not reading our current order and CS worksheet to see for sure how much money I make). Now that his support is going to increase, he has submitted to the magistrate that he should not be forced to pay for a child that is not biologically his. I, in turn, submitted that he KNOWINGLY and WILLINGLY signed the declaration of paternity. So far, the magistrate is finding in my favor. He has said to the magistrate that he agrees to pay $100 a month for our daughter, and what the court orders for our son. But as I said before, I would rather tell him to stick his support up his rear than for our daughter to EVER find out he said "I should not be forced to pay for a child that is not biologically mine." That would devastate her.

 

[Chesnee]

Why did you not state that you were married to this guy, and that you are seeking support? I don't know about BB, but I feel that you a running one big scam.

Who is the "X"? Your husband that you speak of in your first post?
[/QUOTE]

My husband desperately wanted to adopt my daughter

I'm sorry, I know in my post in the child support forum I referred to him as my (now ex) husband. I should have stated in my first post "my husband at the time". My bad. I am not trying to scam anyone.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

So you have played games with both guy's? You are one class act lady.

 

[Chesnee]

Paridise

I don't understand why you say that. There are two men involved - the biological father and the man who signed the declaration of paternity, who I erroneously referred to as "my husband" in my first post, but who is in fact, my ex husband. I was never married to the biological father, and the man who I married and who signed the declaration of paternity (who I am now divorced from) is the who is trying to lower his child support.

I didn't mean to confuse anyone.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

The point is, you did confuse everyone. I don't know if BB's advice would even apply now.

The fact of the matter is, you actually came here asking these questions because of your "X" fighting the support on this child.

How could you not have mentioned this?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Shame on me? Shame on me for what? For wanting my daughter to have a name? For wanting my daughter to have a father? She had a sperm donor, and that was it. That man was 25 years old, and I was young and stupid. He never wanted her. He just wanted sex with a young, good looking blonde. And yeah, it was my mistake for ever thinking that he cared. But I was 17 years old when we started going out, and I thought I knew it all.

You know what? I'm not even going to argue this with you. If this was something that we did illegally in 1989, then we are the ones who will have to deal with the consequences if we are ever "found out" by the authorities.

I just came here for some legal advice. Who the hell are you to judge me for wanting what I thought was best for my daughter at the time, or to judge my (now ex) husband for wanting the little girl he loves to be his.

You did mention this in passing, I believe most of us did not take notice.

You have a whole new ball game on your hands.

 

[Chesnee]

The point is, you did confuse everyone. I don't know if BB's advice would even apply now.

The fact of the matter is, you actually came here asking these questions because of your "X" fighting the support on this child.

How could you not have mentioned this?

I don't understand how you can say that BB's advice may not even apply now. The question was: Is what we did legal. And the answer was yes, it was legal in the state of Ohio.

I didn't come here asking this question for the sole purpose of fighting my ex on the child support issue. I've made it quite clear that I really don't care about the amount of support he pays for her. I was much more concerned with how SHE would feel if he continued to pursue this matter and she found out that he didn't want to pay for her anymore because she isn't biologically his. This is something that he has never, ever said to her. And as I stated before, it would devastate her to hear that he had said this about her.

In speaking with a few people in my network of friends, they brought up points to me about the declaration of paternity that I hadn't even thought of. To be honest, it is very easy to forget that my daughter is not the biological child of my ex husband. I was very upfront in my first post about my question being a two part question.

Again, I'm sorry. My intention was simply to gather more information. I had never heard about the doctrine of laches before, and was really just trying to understand it when BB posted about it in response to my question. I'm not a scammer, and I'm not a bad person.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

(QUOTE) I was much more concerned with how SHE would feel if he continued to pursue this matter and she found out that he didn't want to pay for her anymore because she isn't biologically his. (QUOTE)

How would she find out? This is not a issue for your child to know about.

I hope there can be healing between you and the "X", and that your daughter is not subjected to this court battle. She was raised with "Daddy", who is no longer married to "Mommy",.........."Daddy", isn't even really the Dad.

Do you get what I am saying? When your daughter is old enough, please sit her down and tell her of her own life story.

I do wish you well.

 

[westcoastdaddy]

you are living a lie

"when your daughter is old enough, please sit her down and tell her of her own life story" yeah, be sure to tell her how you calliously cut her real father out of the picture, and commited a crime by letting your ex sign the declaration of paternity, and lead her to believe your ex is her"father" when you both knew damm good and well he wasnt.good luck. i hope your daughter never speaks to you again when she finds out what a manipulating liar you are!