Is this even legal?

[Chesnee]

(QUOTE) I was much more concerned with how SHE would feel if he continued to pursue this matter and she found out that he didn't want to pay for her anymore because she isn't biologically his. (QUOTE)

How would she find out? This is not a issue for your child to know about.

I hope there can be healing between you and the "X", and that your daughter is not subjected to this court battle. She was raised with "Daddy", who is no longer married to "Mommy",.........."Daddy", isn't even really the Dad.

Do you get what I am saying? When your daughter is old enough, please sit her down and tell her of her own life story.

I do wish you well.

To msiron: Yes, she does know that she has a biological father (I have never referred to him as a sperm donor to her, she may want to pursue a relationship with him at some point in her adult life, and it is not up to me to form her opinions of him). While going through pictures in my parents photo album, she came across a picture of him and I at a Christmas party and asked who he was (she was around 5 at the time). I told her he was an old friend of mine and left it at that. Several years later, while helping her grandmother go through the photo albums and organize them into seperate albums for my siblings and I, she came across the picture again and asked again who he was. My husband (we were still married) and I sat her down and explained things to her. We also told her that if she had an interest in meeting him when she was older, that we would be supportive of that. To date, she has had no interest in meeting him. She loves her daddy, the man who loves and takes care of her, and that is enough for her at this point in her life. Someday, however, she may want to look him up, and that is her right. Also, yes my (now ex) husband does love her very much, as do his entire family. They have always known the truth of her paternity, but it never mattered to them. She is their granddaughter/niece/cousin and no one can say differently to them.

She is aware of her life story. This is not something we have hidden from her.

".........."Daddy", isn't even really the Dad.

Yes, he is. And has always been. Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad My daughter is lucky enough to have a wonderful dad.

You ask how she would find out. I don't know, really. I would never tell her, and I'm pretty sure the ex would never tell her, but that is a fear that I have. That she would somehow find out.

You said you hope there can be healing between the ex and I. Me, too. This isn't an overly-ugly situation, and as I posted earlier, I believe he is only doing this because of the new woman in his life, although that is only my opinion. She seems to be the type that resents the fact that "her man" has a past and children with someone else. I may have my hands full with her. But until this woman entered his life, child support was not an issue. My ex and I have always gotten along fairly well, and it was not an ugly knock-down drag-out type of divorce. We just realized, a little too late, that we make better friends than spouses, but we were very young when we got married, and we are both amazed that we stayed married as long as we did.

Thanks for your advice and input. I honestly appreciate it.

 

[Chesnee]

"when your daughter is old enough, please sit her down and tell her of her own life story" yeah, be sure to tell her how you calliously cut her real father out of the picture, and commited a crime by letting your ex sign the declaration of paternity, and lead her to believe your ex is her"father" when you both knew damm good and well he wasnt.good luck. i hope your daughter never speaks to you again when she finds out what a manipulating liar you are!

Listen Kelly (isn't that your name?) You need to learn to friggin read. MY DAUGHTER KNOWS ABOUT HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER and at this point in her life, she has NO desire to have any contact with him. Which is PERFECT because he obviously has no desire to be a part of her life either, he NEVER DID!

And furthermore, I DID NOT callously (if you are going to put me down, at least learn how to spell) cut her biological father out of her life. HE LEFT HER! HE DIDN'T WANT HER. He was more damned concerned with where his next 12 pack of beer was coming from. HE DEMANDED that I NOT put his name on her birth certificate, and that I NOT give her his last name. HE WANTED ME TO GET AN ABORTION!!! HE WAS THRILLED when I told him that my (now ex) husband had adopted her because he was AFRAID I was going to come back on him for CHILD SUPPORT.