Joint Legal Custody

[AlanSmith]

I don't think you're understanding this.

The mere fact that you weren't married to Mom creates a question of paternity. And yes, the court can take into account behavior of each parent. Even before the child is born.

Also please remember the mother didn't work and wasn't providing a stable home for our child. She live 4 places within less than two years. One place was with roomates and the other three were friends who let her live with them or their family. I've always had a stable home and I work.

 

[Silverplum]

The things you think matter do not matter as much as you seem to believe.

 

[Eekamouse]

The child had a roof over his head so she was providing for him. Roommates do not make someone an unfit parent.

 

[CJane]

There is no presumption of joint custody in NY. Custody is determined based on the best interests of the child - and THAT is determined far more often on the credibility of the parties, and status quo than you would imagine.

You have nothing on which to base an appeal, and a modification is not likely to be well received by the court this soon.

My suggestion? Get over it. Move on. Parent your child.

 

[AlanSmith]

The things you think matter do not matter as much as you seem to believe.

Obviously, but why is that? I saw several lawyers before starting this process and they all told me I had I shot at getting joint physical custody b/c of all the things I mentioned. I didn't know the process would ignore important facts. My lawyer never thought she would get primary custody. He actually felt I should have sole custody. Shes not working! How can she have primary custody if she cannot take care of herself never mind and a child.

 

[AlanSmith]

The child had a roof over his head so she was providing for him. Roommates do not make someone an unfit parent.

In court she mentioned wanting a stable environment one household for our child. My lawyer argued and I agreed she was once living with strangers as roommates and then 3 other households where she stayed with family or friends of people she knew. How is that a stable environment when she's constantly moving our child place to place and the places she's going are always different people some not familiar with her or him? She was always in just a room.

 

[CJane]

Obviously, but why is that? I saw several lawyers before starting this process and they all told me I had I shot at getting joint physical custody b/c of all the things I mentioned. I didn't know the process would ignore important facts. My lawyer never thought she would get primary custody. He actually felt I should have sole custody. Shes not working! How can she have primary custody if she cannot take care of herself never mind and a child.

You DID have a shot. In fact, you GOT joint legal. You HAVE parenting time.

So, you received exactly what a whole lot of people predicted - and what most of the people HERE would have predicted.

Just because you don't understand what joint custody (legal OR physical) means, doesn't mean the court erred. And it fo' sho' doesn't mean that you have grounds for an appeal.

 

[stealth2]

No didn't tell her to get an abortion. Her case rested on a late night argument we had in my vehicle. She claimed that I was mad that I called her at my job to tell me she was pregnant. I wasn't mad that she called me at work to tell me she was pregnant, I was mad b/c she had expected me to drop everything and leave work at the time. A woman finding out shes pregnant is not considered an emergency situation to jobs thus I didn't leave work. It's not like she was having the baby and going into labor. During our argument in the car my accessories were on, but the car wasn't running. It was cold at the time being early fall so the battery went dead. I got mad that the battery was dead and I was in the town she lived at during that time which was 20 minutes away across a bridge. It was now 2am in the morning and the likelihood of me getting my car going was not good. This is why I was agitated. Of coarse she twisted the facts and lied making it seem that my anger was because I was mad she was pregnant. This is what my child custody came to be based on after 2 and half years in court - an argument in a car which the mother lied about the facts. The judge to me should say hmmmm... this guy started this court process so he likely had nothing to hide and accepted that he is the father by petitioning the court for paternity, he has a history of taking caring of the child - receipts totaling thousands, and he was visiting the child. Take all this together - does this seem like someone who argued and was mad with a mother about getting pregnant. Such a person would not have started a court process, would not have been paying for their child, and would not have visited their child.

I'm not a criminal nor had any criminal background, no alcohol or drug abuse, and no mental disorders - I'm just a honest working citizen. There was absolutely no reason the judge should make her claims weigh more than my evidence. She didn't have any witnesses no nothing and the judge automatically takes her word over mine based on what? I explained to the judge thoroughly what happened that night with my vehicle and looking back I just was wasting my breath. During the trial I was slow at first in recollecting the facts b/c this was an argument that happened 3 years prior to the court date. I also have old emails saved that probably would prove she was lying, but they never went to evidence those emails.

I find it very unfair that she went to court and constantly lied and twisted facts to her advantage and had no evidence to back her claims - after all you can't prove lies. I had plenty of evidence receipts in addition to all petitions I filed and more. Not all me evidence was entered at trial, but a good majority was and was plenty convincing to anyone on the outside looking in.

Who EVER told you life was fair? They lied.

And I would bet you were not represented by an attorney...

 

[AlanSmith]

You DID have a shot. In fact, you GOT joint legal. You HAVE parenting time.

So, you received exactly what a whole lot of people predicted - and what most of the people HERE would have predicted.

Just because you don't understand what joint custody (legal OR physical) means, doesn't mean the court erred. And it fo' sho' doesn't mean that you have grounds for an appeal.

I know the difference of the two that's why I filed a petition for joint physical custody. I know I have parenting time, I just don't believe she should have primary residence. Also I didn't know that with joint legal custody that the mother could have final decision. I thought the judge always had final decision. I don't want an appeal b/c I'm unfamiliar with the meanings of the two I was seeking an appeal b/c I felt the judge didn't consider the important FACTS of the case. Again very simple, I had proof of my claims and all was in evidence. She had no proof of what she claimed and the judge took her word over mine. Now after having experienced this process maybe this is okay in a court room, sure isn't morally correct. I never thought in a court case that facts would be ignored. I don't see how justice is served giving primary residence to a non-working mother who didn't have a permanent residence in NY for 2 years of this case. In addition, not brought up during the trial but prior to in court - the mother left our son at the time 11 months old unattended sleeping on the 15th floor of her building for a hour while she was across the street at the store. This has no bearing on my case, but an argument in a car 8 months before his birth does.

 

[AlanSmith]

Who EVER told you life was fair? They lied.

And I would bet you were not represented by an attorney...

I was represented by an attorney another reason I was seeking an appeal. I spent a lot of money to get a decision I didn't want. I am thankful I have time with my child which is most important, however, on paper the courts give more "parenting rights" to the mother which shouldn't be. She can barely take care of herself, but the courts find that to be in the best interests of the child.

 

[LdiJ]

I was represented by an attorney another reason I was seeking an appeal. I spent a lot of money to get a decision I didn't want. I am thankful I have time with my child which is most important, however, on paper the courts give more "parenting rights" to the mother which shouldn't be. She can barely take care of herself, but the courts find that to be in the best interests of the child.

OP, you need to realize that lawyer or not, you were not guaranteed that the case would come out the way you wanted it to come out. You cannot appeal just because you are unhappy with the decision. There has to be a true error of law.

 

[Silverplum]

I know the difference of the two that's why I filed a petition for joint physical custody. I know I have parenting time, I just don't believe she should have primary residence. Also I didn't know that with joint legal custody that the mother could have final decision. I thought the judge always had final decision. I don't want an appeal b/c I'm unfamiliar with the meanings of the two I was seeking an appeal b/c I felt the judge didn't consider the important FACTS of the case. Again very simple, I had proof of my claims and all was in evidence. She had no proof of what she claimed and the judge took her word over mine. Now after having experienced this process maybe this is okay in a court room, sure isn't morally correct. I never thought in a court case that facts would be ignored. I don't see how justice is served giving primary residence to a non-working mother who didn't have a permanent residence in NY for 2 years of this case. In addition, not brought up during the trial but prior to in court - the mother left our son at the time 11 months old unattended sleeping on the 15th floor of her building for a hour while she was across the street at the store. This has no bearing on my case, but an argument in a car 8 months before his birth does.

Not brought up at trial = Didn't happen. Further, things that happened before this hearing will not be discussed in court in future.

You had your court, those are your results. The End.

 

[stealth2]

I spent a lot of money to get a decision I didn't want.

Well... such is life. Paying a lawyer does not guarantee a result. Oops.

 

[Proserpina]

Not brought up at trial = Didn't happen. Further, things that happened before this hearing will not be discussed in court in future.

You had your court, those are your results. The End.

Exactly!

And I'm also wondering if OP understands that if he's okay with a true 50/50 timeshare, he's telling the entire world that Mom is absolutely fit to be primary, too.

 

[Proserpina]

Also please remember the mother didn't work and wasn't providing a stable home for our child. She live 4 places within less than two years. One place was with roomates and the other three were friends who let her live with them or their family. I've always had a stable home and I work.

Well, your child support payments should help Mom.