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just venting...opinions?

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krybrahaha

Member
What is the name of your state? WA

I just modified my parenting plan and my ex wife and I agreed upon everything, the judge signed it and it is finalized. Im wanting to move in with my soon to be wife about 45 miles away. She says im abandoning my kids, does this look to anyone else as im abandoning my kids? My fiancee has 3 boys of her own as it is and my ex says i will be spending more time with them than my own. She says that makes me a bad father. What else am I suppose to do, stay single the rest of my life and not move on? If abandoning my kids was the case, why would i modify my parenting plan to see them more? I know there isnt anything she can do about me moving or about me having my kids on my visitation times (or she will be in contempt)---but seriously, to any of you, does this sound wrong of me to do? Opinions?
 


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Zephyr

Senior Member
she may just be giving "voice" to concerns your children have, or possibly have...as long as nothing changes for the kids things will smooth out
 
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worriedNCP

Junior Member
45 miles? That is really not that bad!
She's doing the same thing my ex did. Trying to make you doubt your choices and feel guilty about moving on. As long as you are still there for your kids I say don't take her seriously. I've been called a bad father thousands of times by my ex. She does it cause she knows how much effort I make to be a good dad and be there for my kids. She knows it is so important to me that if she somehow gets me to doubt myself she can "win". Good for you on moving on, keep those kids in your life and don't let her dictate your life decisions. She already did that for too many years I would bet!
Contempt is a tough one... In the past 3 years my ex has not showed up to drop the kids off or otherwise not allowed me my visitation time about 5 seperate times (most recently last weekend) The state has yet to do anything to her... so don't hang your hat on that.
But we are in differant states, so who knows how things work where you are from!

Best of luck and congrats on the engagement!
 
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fairisfair

Senior Member
45 miles, heck the city that I live in is now 500 sq miles, so you could be ten times as far away and still live in the same town LOL.

Just be a good dad to your children, don't allow your new family to make you forget your obligations to your own children. Of course there are going to be hard feelings, there always are when things change and people are worried about their place in the realm of things.
 
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krybrahaha

Member
thanks for the words. I do plan on being in my kids lives as much as possible. She just jealous that i found someone to make me happy. I dont think im abandoning my kids. I modified my plan to see them more, like i just said and i pay my child support every month on time, and sometimes even give her a little more. But, then Im the bad father...okay lol
 
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Zephyr

Senior Member
worriedNCP said:
45 miles? That is really not that bad!
She's doing the same thing my ex did. Trying to make you doubt your choices and feel guilty about moving on. As long as you are still there for your kids I say don't take her seriously. I've been called a bad father thousands of times by my ex. She does it cause she knows how much effort I make to be a good dad and be there for my kids. She knows it is so important to me that if she somehow gets me to doubt myself she can "win". Good for you on moving on, keep those kids in your life and don't let her dictate your life decisions. She already did that for too many years I would bet!
Contempt is a tough one... In the past 3 years my ex has not showed up to drop the kids off or otherwise not allowed me my visitation time about 5 seperate times (most recently last weekend) The state has yet to do anything to her... so don't hang your hat on that.
But we are in differant states, so who knows how things work where you are from!

Best of luck and congrats on the engagement!
Click to expand...

sorry to highjack here- but have you actually filed for contempt in court? the state won't do anything unless you ask them to- there is no contempt fairy running around righting wrongs
 
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tigger22472

Senior Member
fairisfair said:
Oh my goodness, you just blew Little boy blue's horn!! Tiggers ARE wonderful things!!:D
Click to expand...

I told you it sounded familiar...lol I wasn't even sure on the state... just the key points of the post and all it took was using that infamous search button for 'abandoned children' and POOF! lol Then I saw the state and the specifics.

Even if this OP weren't the father in this case but the mother pretending (as we've seen before) the father still shines here! lol
 
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