Losing battle--2nd therapy session...

[rmet4nzkx]

I received these two email messages from my ex today. This one first titled "Therapeutic Setting"
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Please be advised that after meeting with (Therapist Name), the children are extremely uncomfortable in his presence. Our sons felt they were being manipulated and their concerns were being summarily dismissed as irrelevant. If you truly wish to repair your relationship with the boys, you will acknowledge these feelings of discomfort and seek an alternate therapeutic setting for your visitations. When you seek a new setting, the boys are requesting, once again, that you seek out a female therapist.

I have already spoken to Family Court Services regarding this matter and they informed me that it would behoove you to honor and acknowledge the boys’ requests.---------------------------------------------------------------
This lady is killing me! If you knew our children, you would know that they one don't even use the words manipulate and I don't think they even know what it means. Those are HER words, not theirs! Or, whatever tey are saying this is HER interpretation. I swear she is raising our sons to be scared of their own shadows. They have male teachers and coaches, who by the way openly holler and yell at them while practicing and in games, yet the only male authority figures they are scared of is me and NOW the therapist.

I don't know what part of there is NO other therapist in Fresno that will work on Saturdays and/or accept my insurance. I believe this is just another ploy of hers to further delay my rectifying of our very injured relationship that she has caused MOST of between my sons and I.
I sent a copy of this to my girlfriend and we both agreed that this email would go ignored and unanswered. If she wants to change the therapist she can spend her own money filing a motion to do so and it will not be heard for at least 6 weeks in the Fresno County unless she is pulling strings in that court too. Are we being foolish not to reply?

The court was already advised of her request for a female therapist and ordered the one they are seeing, she was also ordered to cooporate.

Your response to this should be minimal basically,

I am in receipt of your email received 10-5-2005. Please be advised that the court already considered your request and ORDERED therapy with, ___________. As you well know, these first delayed visits are assessment and not in depth therapy at this point, so the boys should not dispair and be reassured that their issues are not being dismissed. I do agree that there was some discomfort at your presense and since you have already communicated with the therapist, it might be wise for you to drop the boys off for therapy at the appointed time and pick them up after therapy is concluded. Please remember these visits are at your request.

 

[daddenied]

The court was already advised of her request for a female therapist and ordered the one they are seeing, she was also ordered to cooporate.

Your response to this should be minimal basically,

I am in receipt of your email received 10-5-2005. Please be advised that the court already considered your request and ORDERED therapy with, ___________. As you well know, these first delayed visits are assessment and not in depth therapy at this point, so the boys should not dispair and be reassured that their issues are not being dismissed. I do agree that there was some discomfort at your presense and since you have already communicated with the therapist, it might be wise for you to drop the boys off for therapy at the appointed time and pick them up after therapy is concluded. Please remember these visits are at your request.

Okay, I like your suggestion much better than my girlfriends and she had to agree when I forwarded this to her. I will send this tomorrow or Friday when I have time. You and Casa make this seem all so easy. Thank you.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Okay, then a little while later I received a second email message titled (outside therapeutic visitation visits) that said:

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Reminder - You are only to have visitation with our sons within the confines of a therapeutic, supervised setting. Previously, you have failed to comply with the order by appearing at (1st son’s) football practice and approaching him on the sidelines. Be advised that if you attempt to confront/contact (1st son) while he is in (LA County) for his football game this week, you are again, in direct defiance of the Order.
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Again, this lady is KILLING ME! Nowhere in the order does it say I cannot attend our children's sporting events. It seems to be her only goal in life to keep our children away from me. How do I fight what seems to be a losing battle? I hate being negative, but when I get crap like this, I feel crappy...that's the most appropriate word I can think of right now. I want to ignore this email too, but my girlfriend said maybe I should respond and say something in the gist of:

I'm sorry it seems your job isn't keeping you busy enough giving you too much time on your hand to think up ways to keep me away from our children. I am anxiously awaiting Friday night's football game to watch (1st son) play. I switched shifts at work just to be sure I can make it. My parents will probably be there too. I hope he gets some playing time. Maybe you should come along too then you won't have to sit at home worrying all night long about my seeing 1st son. You can even sit with us since you don't know anyone here. Have a good week"

I think it's a funny email, but I don't even want to waste my time replying. I'm still on the "don't reply" kick. My girlfriend said it was a mere suggestion. I don't blame her wanting to get a little bit of fun out of this. We've been through a lot, and she's especially been through way more than she deserves standing next to me in this fight.

Let me know what you all think.

Ok I was responding while you were editing, lol!

Your girlfriend's response You might preface your response with,

I am in receipt of your second email 10-5-2005. Please be advised that the court's order did not limit my joint custody or visitation. The matter before the court on September 2005 was the appointment of a therapist able to meet the court's order, all other matters are continued pending future mediation. Your habitual contempt of the court's orders and interference in the exercise of my parental rights is noted and will be forwarded to the court's file.

I'm sorry it seems your job isn't keeping you busy enough, giving you too much time on your hands contrieving ways to keep me away from our children. I am anxiously awaiting Friday night's football game to watch (1st son) play. I switched shifts at work just to be sure I can make it. My parents will probably be there too. I hope he gets some playing time. Maybe you should come along too then you won't have to sit at home worrying all night long about my seeing 1st son. You can even sit with us since you don't know anyone here. Have a good week"

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I hope things went better this week once you had a chance to interact with your children outside the presense of your ex.

 

[UnbornChild]

I hope things went better this week once you had a chance to interact with your children outside the presense of your ex.

Has there been an update on this? (I watch with interest and a heavy heart)