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loss of home and child visitation problems

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What is the name of your state? I live in Michigan.
I am writing for my daughter who has to work. I hope you can help her.
She has 2 problems.
Yesterday in our local paper she read her house is being forclosed on. She was awarded it in the divorce. Earlier in the year her ex had the mortgage company changed the mortgage address to his home address. Which they said they could do because he was still on the mortgage.
My daughter missed 1 payment. Because she did not send the 2 months worth of payments they say she defaulted on the mortgage.
He ex again had the address changed and all the foreclosure information must have been sent to his address.
They mortgage company has over $1000.00 in checks they are holding. Will not send them back until my daughter send them a check for $1400.00.
She does not have this kind of money. He ex is suppose to be paying child support but has not in over 3 months. Nothing is being done about that either.
The other problem he will not return some of the children clothing when he has them for visitation. If he does not like what they are wearing they come home without it. The baby was even returned in her diaper once. My aughter has reported this and nothing has been done.
She cannot afford a lawyer and her home will be up for auction on January 9th. Is there anything she can do?
Any help in the right direction will be greatly appreciated.
I thank-you for your time in advance.


Under the Radar Member
The bank is not going to be interested in getting in the middle of their divorce issues. Since they have $1000 worth of uncashed checks, your daughter needs to come up with another $400 to keep the house. She can stop payment on the other checks and send $1400 to the bank, right? Can you loan her $400? That would be the quickest thing to do. Once that's done, she should look into refinancing so he's off the mortgage. If she can't qualify - she needs to make sure those payments are made, even if it requires taking them in to the bank in person.

If he is not paying ordered support, she can file against him for contempt.

The clothes are really a non-issue. Her best bet would be to simply make sure they wear something that is acceptable to him for each visitation. That's what I do, as I had the same problem.


can't be done

Thanks for your reply. But we live in upper Michigan and her mortgage company is in lower Michigan.
I will tell her about the stop payment.
As far as acceptable shoes. The baby is 1 and he has kept 3 pairs of shoes. Not to much you can buy that is not acceptable.
Shouldn't the mortgage company have sent the information to her. Her address is on the checks they are holding.
Can't believe he's want his children put out on the streets.


Senior Member
Your daughter should have known that she didn't get a statement in the mail that month and called the mortgage company.

Just as Stealth suggest come up with the $400.00 somehow, beg and borrow somehow. Then if she is able to keep the house make sure the mortgage company is aware that this address must not be changed by anyone other than herself. Most mortgage companies will do this if they are told of the circumstances. Well mine did because my ex did the same thing to me twice. He tried the third but the flag was there not to change the address.

Good Luck to your daughter.


Under the Radar Member
She doesn't have a payment booklet? With slips that she sends along with her payment? She missed at least 2 payments. The only way I see that being the ex's fault is if he was required to pay the mortgage, but it doesn't sound as though that is the case.


no use

You know how you put your bills in a reminder to pay. Well trying to take care of two children by herself and work 40 hours a week. She just missed the payment because it didn't come in the mail to put in the pile.
She did inform her mortgage company of the situation. Changed the password to something he shouldn't know. they allowed him to change the address not once but twice. Said there was nothing they could do his name was on the mortgage.
It would cost her $385.00 to get name off and she could not refinance for the obvious reasons.
We will try to help her, but seems like there should be something that can be done to him or the mortgage company.
Thank-you for the good wishes for my daughter


no payment book

No she received a coupon every month. He not only changed the address once but twice. And then sent her a note Looks like your about to lose your shack. It not just her it's the children also.


Under the Radar Member
Look - it's not easy being a single parent. Most of us understand that.

The first time there was a problem, your daughter should have come up with a different method of making sure that payment didn't get forgotten. She obviously knows her ex is an a$$hat, and that's something she needs to work around.

Her immediate problem is coming up with $400. Then she needs to make bloody well sure that she doesn't rely on the slip coming for her to remember the house payment. Perhaps a Christmas gift of Quicken (assuming she has a computer), which will allow her to enter her payment schedule and it will alert her when it's due. Otherwise, something as simple as a pocket calendar with the payment written in every month.
Stealth has suggested a few ways that your daughter could remind herself of the payment due date....Here are a few other suggestions.....

Next time that she recieves a payment coupon...make xerox copies...That way whether a payment slip comes in the mail or not she can always send a copy ( with a corrected date). And the copy can be put in the 'pile'. Or just make a payment slip herself whith the date, acct. #, and amount.

Get a dry erase board or hang a calendar on a wall in the kitchen, by the front door, next to the bathroom mirror...where ever she frequents the most in her house. Write on it the bills and when they are due. She can mark them off as she pays them to help her keep track of things...That way she is constantly reminded.

Open another checking account...just for the mortgage payment. Make sure the money is in there when due...and let them deduct it from that. Then you don't have to worry about sending a payment off.

But work on saving that house first. I agree beg or borrow.....

Good Luck.


everyone is so helpful

Everyone have given great ideas. But the problem is not that she is now missing payments. She has made every payment since the first one she missed.
The problem is the foreclosure because of the missed payment and coming up with the extra money. When she has no extra money. And the mortgage company being able to do this without informing her.
First off... Does she have the $1,000 to cover the checks that the mortgage company is holding?

They mortgage company has over $1000.00 in checks they are holding. Will not send them back until my daughter send them a check for $1400.00.She does not have this kind of money.
Looking back.....From this statement....I guess not. So she needs to come up with the full $1400.

Well If I was her....I would try and sell or pawn everything that I had of value. My TV... My stereo...My car.....I would rather go without all that and ride public transportation than not have a roof over my childs head. Then I would beg for what ( the $) I didn't have. I would walk your dog for $5 or wash your car for $3.
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Senior Member
She CAN"T afford to let the house go into FC over $1400 or $400. Stopping payment on the other checks is a good idea. If she has to borrow against her life insurance, borrow cash from her credit cards, sell her jewelry, have a yard sale, grab a holiday job or all of the above, she'd better do it. And hopefully some family will help with even a little piece of that amount.

The absolutely first bill I always make certain is paid is the mortgage. I know exactly what the latest day each month on which I can drop off a payment and have it be considered current for that month. I don't even use the statements, I just keep the loan number in my wallet and provide it. She needs to waste no time, perhaps see if she can wire the funds to the lender account and first have them fax her a payout statement of what's needed to bring the account current.

Another thing she can do to make her hectic life easier is set up online checking and billpay.. . I have this set up with my bank and I have entered ALL the accounts from which I recieve bills (mortgage, utility, medical, credit card, etc.) I program each new account into the system with the account number and payors address and phone number. Once done, I never need do more than pick the payor from a drop down list, click on it, enter the dollar amount I wish to pay, and then confirm. I can also preprogram certain monthly payments to happen automatically on a certain day of the month- like a mortgage. Costs me about $.50 a payment, but I need not buy stamps or envelopes, waste printed checks, or write anything out manually. I can also go easily track deductions at the end of the year, as payments can be assigned into catagories and printed out in a report. As a busy working mom myself with a first grader, I love the time this saves me. If she used something like that, she can always go into the system before default date and verify whether she processed a check to her mortgage company.
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Senior Member
Wait, she didn't make two payments, now she's in foreclosure, but somehow it's his fault? Yes, he shouldn't have changed the address, but she new the payment was due. She went two months without making one. Sorry, but she's in this mess because she didn't make payments she knew she had to make. It sounds like she cannot afford this home. JMHO.


your wrong

No I'm sorry you are wrong. She only missed one payment because he had changed the address and kept the coupon. As her bills came in she put them in the too pay file. Not thinking she did not pay the mortgage because there was no coupon.
Two small children trying to work 40 hours a week because you get no child support.
You may be right she can't afford the house, but she has let other things go just to have a roof over their heads.
Where does he have the right or reason to see his children out of their home.
I disagree he done NOT have the right to change the address unless he intends on paying the mortgage and that NOT going to happen. Like I said she is not even getting her child support because he quit his job so he doesn't have to pay anything.


Under the Radar Member
Re: your wrong

georgygirl said:
Because she did not send the 2 months worth of payments
??? You said she missed 2 payments. The bank would not foreclose over only 1. What part are we missing?

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