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Malicious Mother Syndrome...

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Jasoli12

Active Member
What is the name of your state? Oregon

My wife took our son and went over 50 miles to her parents house the next county over. She has refused to take my calls or return them and has blocked me everywhere for the most part. I filed all the papers I needed to the following week. I FINALLY got status Quo orders served and her lawyer is contesting but, she still is not letting me see my son. She video calls at his bed time nightly ONLY because her attorney suggested it. She WILL not talk to me about anything. If I try to talk to her during the video call, she abruptly ends the call. She DOES NOT communicate anything to me about our son and feels she has the right to do all this. What do I do now? Do I just wait for the hearing that will happen for them to contest the status quo? Can I file contempt?​
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Oregon

My wife took our son and went over 50 miles to her parents house the next county over. She has refused to take my calls or return them and has blocked me everywhere for the most part. I filed all the papers I needed to the following week. I FINALLY got status Quo orders served and her lawyer is contesting but, she still is not letting me see my son. She video calls at his bed time nightly ONLY because her attorney suggested it. She WILL not talk to me about anything. If I try to talk to her during the video call, she abruptly ends the call. She DOES NOT communicate anything to me about our son and feels she has the right to do all this. What do I do now? Do I just wait for the hearing that will happen for them to contest the status quo? Can I file contempt?​
Why did your wife leave? Why is she so upset with you?

What does the visitation order state word for word with identifying info redacted?
 

Jasoli12

Active Member
Why did your wife leave? Why is she so upset with you?

What does the visitation order state word for word with identifying info redacted?
The order is simply an order to maintain status Quo. My address is listed as the place of said status Quo and other than that all the boxes are checked off stating to not change daily routines, dont block other parents attempts to contact or see child, do not sell or remove property... all the standard stuff I suppose it is. There is no parenting time listed because I have to do all this on my own and I came into this knowing anything about any of this. From what I can see, the child/spousal support and anything similar to parenting time was on the portion that was the Ex Parte but that got dismissed due to there is no physical harm to the child. Only psychological damage from our emotional bond being broken. But regardless, in the order my address is listed as the address of the status quo. Is she NOT supposed to abide and bring him here to be in compliance with the order?!?!
 

Jasoli12

Active Member
The order is simply an order to maintain status Quo. My address is listed as the place of said status Quo and other than that all the boxes are checked off stating to not change daily routines, dont block other parents attempts to contact or see child, do not sell or remove property... all the standard stuff I suppose it is. There is no parenting time listed because I have to do all this on my own and I came into this knowing anything about any of this. From what I can see, the child/spousal support and anything similar to parenting time was on the portion that was the Ex Parte but that got dismissed due to there is no physical harm to the child. Only psychological damage from our emotional bond being broken. But regardless, in the order my address is listed as the address of the status quo. Is she NOT supposed to abide and bring him here to be in compliance with the order?!?!
Oh, she left for changing reasons... she originally said for a better life for the two of them, then she said for his safety from me.... there has NEVER been an issue of being safe with me.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Oh, she left for changing reasons... she originally said for a better life for the two of them, then she said for his safety from me.... there has NEVER been an issue of being safe with me.
So...for no apparent reason she took off with the child? Does she have a documented history of mental illness? How old is your child?
 

Jasoli12

Active Member
So...for no apparent reason she took off with the child? Does she have a documented history of mental illness? How old is your child?
When she was pregnant she stopped taking Ridilan. She never started taking it again and now is over 4 years unmedicated for ADHD and I believe she may have mild to moderate Bipolar. The ADHD she has been on meds for since the 3rd grade. Her views are very distorted and some thing she says is VERY out of character. She has a vehement, spiteful hatred for me and I cannot understand it. This is NOT my wife of almost 8 years. Our son will be 4 in November.
The reason she took off, as she stated numerous time was for a better life for the two of them. The day before she up and left, knowing she was never going to bring him to see me, she changed the bank account password and contact info AND the physical address listed as if she had been planning this. I cannot understand her hatred at me though. She is acting as if I beat them daily when I have been nothing but a caring husband and father.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
When she was pregnant she stopped taking Ridilan. She never started taking it again and now is over 4 years unmedicated for ADHD and I believe she may have mild to moderate Bipolar. The ADHD she has been on meds for since the 3rd grade. Her views are very distorted and some thing she says is VERY out of character. She has a vehement, spiteful hatred for me and I cannot understand it. This is NOT my wife of almost 8 years. Our son will be 4 in November.
The reason she took off, as she stated numerous time was for a better life for the two of them. The day before she up and left, knowing she was never going to bring him to see me, she changed the bank account password and contact info AND the physical address listed as if she had been planning this. I cannot understand her hatred at me though. She is acting as if I beat them daily when I have been nothing but a caring husband and father.
Just a suggestion to help you in court. Do not repeat the "malicious mother syndrome" bit that you used in the title to your thread. That won't impress a judge or anyone else involved with the courts. Also, unless you are a mental health professional don't repeat the "mild to moderate bipolar" bit either. You CAN mention that she is ADHD and stopped taking her Ritalin when she was pregnant, and never started taking it again.
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
Ok, you can only seek contempt of court if she clearly violated an existing court order regarding custody and visitation. The fact that you got status quo orders indicates that there was no prior visitation order. If there was no prior visitation order then she is not in contempt of a court order. In that case, you'll have to wait for the upcoming hearing. Your lawyer can explain to you the process and what your options are.
 

Jasoli12

Active Member
Just a suggestion to help you in court. Do not repeat the "malicious mother syndrome" bit that you used in the title to your thread. That won't impress a judge or anyone else involved with the courts. Also, unless you are a mental health professional don't repeat the "mild to moderate bipolar" bit either. You CAN mention that she is ADHD and stopped taking her Ritalin when she was pregnant, and never started taking it again.
I only put the mild to moderate here. I need to get her evaluated and have that be one of the things to evaluate because ADHD alot of the times is misdiagnosed as bipolar and 90% of the time adult ADHD has bipolar run with it and that is why either ADHD is not treated correctly or fully and vice versa. The family mediator said I can bring up anything to the judge if I firmly believe that is what it is. He simply said to tell him of my concern that she may have that as an underlying condition and I would like to have that ruled out or diagnosed as part of her ADHD evaluation. He said as long as I present it to him an a polite manner and dont state a vin h of facts about it as if I am reading right off the internet or state it as if I am qualified in diagnosing it should be heard and pondered by the judge. Simply address it as a concern and the possibility of her continually going down in her spiral of distorted views if how things are in her mind vs what they really are.
Malicious klther syndrome (AKA) Parental Alienation is a term that courts DO recognize and you MUST have the correct terms to get that herd and pondered by the judge and besides, that is exactly what she has been doing the last 8 weeks! Another term is she is acting as a gate keeper and her parents are helping her to infringe on my parental rights and my sons rights to his father.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I only put the mild to moderate here. I need to get her evaluated and have that be one of the things to evaluate because ADHD alot of the times is misdiagnosed as bipolar and 90% of the time adult ADHD has bipolar run with it and that is why either ADHD is not treated correctly or fully and vice versa. The family mediator said I can bring up anything to the judge if I firmly believe that is what it is. He simply said to tell him of my concern that she may have that as an underlying condition and I would like to have that ruled out or diagnosed as part of her ADHD evaluation. He said as long as I present it to him an a polite manner and dont state a vin h of facts about it as if I am reading right off the internet or state it as if I am qualified in diagnosing it should be heard and pondered by the judge. Simply address it as a concern and the possibility of her continually going down in her spiral of distorted views if how things are in her mind vs what they really are.
Malicious klther syndrome (AKA) Parental Alienation is a term that courts DO recognize and you MUST have the correct terms to get that herd and pondered by the judge and besides, that is exactly what she has been doing the last 8 weeks! Another term is she is acting as a gate keeper and her parents are helping her to infringe on my parental rights and my sons rights to his father.
You seriously need a lawyer. The mediator should not be giving you legal advice.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
I only put the mild to moderate here. I need to get her evaluated and have that be one of the things to evaluate because ADHD alot of the times is misdiagnosed as bipolar and 90% of the time adult ADHD has bipolar run with it and that is why either ADHD is not treated correctly or fully and vice versa. The family mediator said I can bring up anything to the judge if I firmly believe that is what it is. He simply said to tell him of my concern that she may have that as an underlying condition and I would like to have that ruled out or diagnosed as part of her ADHD evaluation. He said as long as I present it to him an a polite manner and dont state a vin h of facts about it as if I am reading right off the internet or state it as if I am qualified in diagnosing it should be heard and pondered by the judge. Simply address it as a concern and the possibility of her continually going down in her spiral of distorted views if how things are in her mind vs what they really are.
Please understand that if you convince a judge to have her evaluated you will have to be evaluated as well. Its also very expensive for both of you.

Malicious klther syndrome (AKA) Parental Alienation is a term that courts DO recognize and you MUST have the correct terms to get that herd and pondered by the judge and besides, that is exactly what she has been doing the last 8 weeks! Another term is she is acting as a gate keeper and her parents are helping her to infringe on my parental rights and my sons rights to his father.
Parental alienation is a real thing that courts recognize, and its not limited to one gender or the other. Anything labeled as a "syndrome" is going to make you look bad. If you said malicious parent syndrome instead of malicious mother syndrome it might not make you look as bad, but it would be better if you didn't say it at all.

In this instance you appear to be blaming her lack of meds for her current issues. If you cry parental alienation on top of that you diminish your argument that her lack of meds are the problem.
 

Jasoli12

Active Member
Ok, you can only seek contempt of court if she clearly violated an existing court order regarding custody and visitation. The fact that you got status quo orders indicates that there was no prior visitation order. If there was no prior visitation order then she is not in contempt of a court order. In that case, you'll have to wait for the upcoming hearing. Your lawyer can explain to you the process and what your options are.
I cant get a lawyer. No money for one, her parents got her one. I have no money for one and cannot even afford the Modest Means program from the state Bar. Legal Aid MIGHT be able to help but if not, I have NO WAY to get one and right now I cant even get one to do any thoe of free consult so O can ask these questions and at least have a nearong. The fact that it is served and was approved and has MY address as the status quo residence that SHE abruptly took him out of never to reaturn. She had been violating my right to see him and his right to see me. Now that it is served she is in aviation of impeding the other parent, me, from contacting and seeing him. She also recuses to go over any major decisions with me as she is supposed to do such as what she is doing with him for starting school. He had developmental assessments that she as told me nothing about. While know what other decisions she is making unilaterally!!!! She is also selling items when it says NOT to.
Please understand that if you convince a judge to have her evaluated you will have to be evaluated as well. Its also very expensive for both of you.



Parental alienation is a real thing that courts recognize, and its not limited to one gender or the other. Anything labeled as a "syndrome" is going to make you look bad. If you said malicious parent syndrome instead of malicious mother syndrome it might not make you look as bad, but it would be better if you didn't say it at all.

In this instance you appear to be blaming her lack of meds for her current issues. If you cry parental alienation on top of that you diminish your argument that her lack of meds are the problem.
They can send me to the same psych evaluation, I will pass. But I honestly dont see that happening because she is the one with the preexisting diagnosis and she is the one refusing to ever take made again and refusing to see the dr about it. The reason I am wanting the evaluation is on the ground that she is making outlandish claims the are not consistent and has a very distorted view of when is vs how it really is. I know she wont have any proof for any negative claims she may make but if the judge wants to take anytiing from it even though she has the burden of proof, I am going to HAVE to make a motion for evaluation to see if she is capable of even recalling things that happend. She has accused me of or told me things about me that her brain may feel it happend that way but it did not. She has told me I said things I never have. I want her diagnosed and medicated mot because I am vindictive, bit because I love and care for her and our son deserves the mother he had up until the last couples days in July. I am so fear she slips into a depression and if she feels she is getting ganged up on and cornered either leave the state with him or worse yet pull a "ifni cant have him, nobody can" type thing. I want my wife back. NOT this persona that has taken over. 2 weeks after out son was born, I had to do a battery of tests with a psychiatrist because my file she would have been able to see was gone. Treatment provider state and.by stateaw had to shed all client files. That is good for 5 years, there is another year on it and that should suffice my side. But again, I have no diagnosed mental imbablance.
 

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