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Mediation with only one party

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I posted a few weeks ago about my daughter's health problems, and dad's refusal to allow her treatment. I filed for temporary orders which were denied, but a hearing in mediation was scheduled. We're due in court next week. Dad contacted me this past Monday and asked me to sign a document that he created stating that I agree to not appear in court because he is going on vacation, and won't be present for mediation. Will they still mediate with only one parent there?
Since all this happened, our daughter had an accident at his house. He took her to the emergency room, and left after waiting for 2 hours. She was never seen or treated. He wasn't very forthcoming about the details of her injury, and when I picked her up on Sunday, she had a 2 inch Y shaped gash in her head, bruising all along her forehead, a black eye, a cut under her nose, bruising on the inside of her lip, and the left side of her lip was swollen. He originally told me that her injury was a minor cut, about a half inch on her forehead. He shaved part of her hair in order to mend the wound. She also got ahold of scissors and gave herself a nice mullett. He stated that she fell off the toilet, and cut her head on a piece of plastic on a toddler's potty chair. I asked him if he was there when she fell, and he said he wasn't. We live about an hour and half away, and I asked him if I should come down to see her, and he kept telling me "no, she's totally fine". On Sunday, she screamed obscenities on the way home. She was screaming "F You (fiance's name)" over and over. When I asked her where she heard that kind of language, she said "daddy said F (fiance's name)". She also said "daddy says (fiance's name) spanks me". Totally not true......and he has threated me with telling the courts that my fiance is mean to our daughter, and that he spanks her. Which is completely not true.
When we spoke earlier this week he kept asking me if I was going to bring the injury up to the mediators. He said that if I do, he will tell our daughter the truth about me and my family. He's already taught her to call me by my first name, and my parents by their first names. He's also taught her that I am adopted, so her aunts, uncles, cousins etc are not really her family. She's not even three years old yet.
So**************will the mediators meet with me alone if dad isn't there? And, my petition only states her medical issues. Could I bring this other stuff up?
 


On Monday, she was seen, and her wound had closed on it's own so it was too late for stiches. I'm taking her to her regular pediatrician for follow up. Dad has called the local hospitals in my area, including her pediatrician, telling them that they are not allowed to see, or treat our daughter for anything.
 
On Monday, she was seen, and her wound had closed on it's own so it was too late for stiches. I'm taking her to her regular pediatrician for follow up. Dad has called the local hospitals in my area, including her pediatrician, telling them that they are not allowed to see, or treat our daughter for anything.
Wow, just wow. That's just sad.
 

txmom512

Member
I'm not an attorney or anything but I would not sign anything like that, and I would make SURE to be at that appointment not matter what!
I'd also be taking w/ me pictures of the child's injuries, medical records for the visits for treatment, and documentation showing he called medical providers instructing them not to treat the child for anything.
 
I'm appearing in court whether dad is there or not. I am not sure if they'll even hear me without him there. I've seen them meet with parents who have shown without the other present, but I don't know what the situation was.
Dad has threatened me because I won't sign his little paper, he also wants me to sign a statement that states that I won't talk to the mediators about our daughters injury. I recieved 8 voicemails from him, ranging from him calling me names (infront of our daughter) to begging me to meet him and sign this paper, then to threatening me with making accusations that will make the courts take our daughter from me.
He is incredibly intimidating. So many people tell me that they feel "extremely uncomfortable" by him, and refuse to associate with our situation. Lately, our daughters doctors have told me they would feel more comfortable if our order was worded differently.
Now, he has changed his story, telling me that she was seen in the ER, and they told him that he had done such a good job tending to her injury that there was nothing they could do.
 

janM

Member
Sounds like he realizes he's responsible (it happened on his watch) for much more than a "half inch cut". He's squirming. I could be wrong, but I don't see how she got those injuries from a potty chair. Is CPS not involved?
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
I'm appearing in court whether dad is there or not. I am not sure if they'll even hear me without him there. I've seen them meet with parents who have shown without the other present, but I don't know what the situation was.
Dad has threatened me because I won't sign his little paper, he also wants me to sign a statement that states that I won't talk to the mediators about our daughters injury. I recieved 8 voicemails from him, ranging from him calling me names (infront of our daughter) to begging me to meet him and sign this paper, then to threatening me with making accusations that will make the courts take our daughter from me.
He is incredibly intimidating. So many people tell me that they feel "extremely uncomfortable" by him, and refuse to associate with our situation. Lately, our daughters doctors have told me they would feel more comfortable if our order was worded differently.
Now, he has changed his story, telling me that she was seen in the ER, and they told him that he had done such a good job tending to her injury that there was nothing they could do.
If the child was seen in the ER, there would be a record of it. They will NOT see a child in the back before they have been registered in the front - except if shild arrived in ambulance.
 
CPS is not involved, yet....that I am aware of. I live in a different county than dad, and I tried to make a report when our daughter was 1 yrs old and was attacked by 9 dogs (dad was breeding german shepherds) Dad was mowing the lawn, and left her in a gated yard with 9 dogs who knocked her down, and attacked her. She was covered head to toe with scratches and bruises. Doctor said he couldn't imagine the fear and pain our daughter was in when it happened. Dad thought there was no problem with leaving a 1 year old child with 9 dogs, claiming that they are nice dogs and didn't intend to hurt her. CPS told me that I needed to call my county. I call my county and they tell me to call the county in which the incident happened, so I dad's county and they tell me to call my county. Call my county, and I'm told to call the county in which the incident happened. Called dad's county again, and a report was taken reluctantly, but I was told flat out that they wouldn't do anything because I was trying to "build a case against dad". That of course wasn't true....I was just terrified by what happened to our daughter in dad's care. Nothing came of that other than dad getting a stiff reprimand from mediators for being "careless". I had pictures of her injuries then, but the mediators refused to look at them. Since that has happened, she has returned home several times with welts under her eyes, bruised upper lip, bump on her head. When I ask dad about this stuff, he gets tremendously defensive and says I am rediculous for even being concerned about our daughter "being a kid, and falling down".
I have doubts that he even took her to the ER because he first said he did, then said he didn't, and now is saying he did. And now he is frantic about mediation next week and keeps telling me that he won't be there, and I shouldnt' be there either.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
On Monday, she was seen, and her wound had closed on it's own so it was too late for stiches. I'm taking her to her regular pediatrician for follow up. Dad has called the local hospitals in my area, including her pediatrician, telling them that they are not allowed to see, or treat our daughter for anything.
So, he is basically telling the world that HE is preventing medical treatment. Please have the offices subpeona'd on this one. The judge would NOT be happy to hear how a parent is PREVENTING medical care for a child.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Sounds like he realizes he's responsible (it happened on his watch) for much more than a "half inch cut". He's squirming. I could be wrong, but I don't see how she got those injuries from a potty chair. Is CPS not involved?
Mom says she took Daughter in to see the doctor Monday. If the doctor suspects it's abuse, he/she's a mandated reporter.

OP, don't let this man intimidate you. Go to the court on the scheduled time. He's probably trying to trick you into not going so he can get some kind of default judgment.
 
TheGeekess, that is exactly what my gut feeling is. He has done stuff like this before, trying to intimidate me into doing what he wants, then use it against me. I will for sure be there.
 

tornado88

Member
Please do as one of the seniors advised and take pictures of her injuries, and all the proof you can gather about dad not getting medical attention for her. He has opened the door for you so please use it.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
dear me. OP, do what was suggested. BRING UP the injuries to the mediator. make sure you have ALL doctor's reports. take pictures.

before dad even whispers one word about the his false claims, state dad is making verbal accusations to you if you mention what you are about to say. and accusing you of child abuse instead of reporting it, he wants you to keep quiet about what you are about to say. then spill it. take the wind out of his sails.
 

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