Mental illness of custodial parent

[lopan122]

its my daughters mental well being yea im mad if u saw your kid crying every time u dropped her off u would be too. Im sorry im not meaning to express anger to the lawyers all i asked for was what are my options for getting her evaluated and everyone evaded the question, though i know the attorney part i didnt know if there were options i could afford thats all

 

[Ohiogal]

its my daughters mental well being yea im mad if u saw your kid crying every time u dropped her off u would be too. Im sorry im not meaning to express anger to the lawyers all i asked for was what are my options for getting her evaluated and everyone evaded the question, though i know the attorney part i didnt know if there were options i could afford thats all

In order to get a mental evaluation, you need more than you have to get a court to order it. I already stated that.
What you need to do is care more about your daughter then getting at your ex. Care for your daughter and not your ex.

 

[Silverplum]

its my daughters mental well being yea im mad if u saw your kid crying every time u dropped her off u would be too. Im sorry im not meaning to express anger to the lawyers all i asked for was what are my options for getting her evaluated and everyone evaded the question, though i know the attorney part i didnt know if there were options i could afford thats all

Posts #11 and 15 and 17 by Ohiogal, who is an attorney. I am not.

 

[Zigner]

In order to get a mental evaluation, you need more than you have to get a court to order it. I already stated that.
What you need to do is care more about your daughter then getting at your ex. Care for your daughter and not your ex.

Even if he could get it ordered, wouldn't he have to pay for it?

 

[Ohiogal]

Even if he could get it ordered, wouldn't he have to pay for it?

Yep. And that is at least $2500 by most places accepted by the court. In addition to that, he would also need to pay for a GAL. And he shouldn't be surprised if a psych eval would be ordered for him for which he would have to pay. So there is an easy $5k before the GAL. Should I continue? He would need a bankroll of about 10k to go down this path. OH and mother's medical records... the law keeps them confidential unless it -- the treatment -- has been ordered as part of a case plan/court order.

 

[stealth2]

fair enough but if i called 10 people who saw it and saw my daughter in tears afterwards over and over. im sorry but people in this post are acting like yelling cussing out etc are nothing im worried sick about my daughter we always have a great weekend then i bring back to her mom and shes in tears from yelling cussing out before i leave almost every time! nope cussing out and yelling are irreverent is what im getting glad she isnt your kid! how would you like it if you spend every weekend with kid not acting up and enjoying time and in at least and 10 seconds after dropping off shes in tears EVERY TIME! sorry but these replys basically saying thats ok is pissing me off

A lot of us have seen it all. As upsetting as it is - you still need concrete proof. Yes, yelling ay your kid IS irrelevant. I'm sure it's upsetting to your daughter - I'm sure it was upsetting to you. That doesn't make it ABUSE or proof that your ex is mentally ill. Hence why I suggested you consult a local attorney. AND why counselling was suggested.

My kids would SOB every night before going to their Dad's. SOB - well into their teens. Didn't make him *legally* abusive. Nor did his throwing our daughter's feminine products all over the front lawn, because I *dared* send them with her. Embarrassing? Upsetting? Yep. But NOT *legally* abusive.

This is why you teach your child coping skills. Or take her to a therapist who can/will.

 

[lopan122]

I apologize that i snapped at you guys. Between posts she started yelling at me and threatening me (for not doing something that she never told me about in the 1st place) and i got angry i was just frustrated and did not mean to take out on you guys. She says shes taking away my next visit time for not following her orders(her words). 1. she never told me these "orders"(and i asked nicely in a text if there is any special things i need to know to text or voicemail me in the future and that she did not tell me, her response was do not text me again)2. Im pretty sure she cant do that right?

Bottom line, regardless of circumstances do i have any right to ask for a mental evaluation of either her mom or my daughter as the non custodial parent?

Again sorry for snapping :-(

 

[Zigner]

I apologize that i snapped at you guys. Between posts she started yelling at me and threatening me (for not doing something that she never told me about in the 1st place) and i got angry i was just frustrated and did not mean to take out on you guys. She says shes taking away my next visit time for not following her orders(her words). 1. she never told me these "orders"(and i asked nicely in a text if there is any special things i need to know to text or voicemail me in the future and that she did not tell me, her response was do not text me again)2. Im pretty sure she cant do that right?

Bottom line, regardless of circumstances do i have any right to ask for a mental evaluation of either her mom or my daughter as the non custodial parent?

Again sorry for snapping :-(

You can ask, the request will likely be denied.

If it IS approved, you can expect to also be ordered to undergo an evaluation. You can also expect to be ordered to PAY for both evaluations and for the services of a GAL. You're looking at to numbers that include the word thousands

ETA: This is just a recap of answers given earlier in your thread.

 

[lopan122]

sorry it did not show those last few responses thanks. just drives me nuts having a great weekend and my daughter in tears inside a min every time when being dropped off from being yelled/cussed out :-(

Funny part is after all this she called me that night asking if i could help her move a bed and as i was about to leave to help(yea i cant say no) she called and said she found some help and was real nice and thanked me for willing to help even after finding help, which is why i think she has bipolar, going from threats to being nice in a matter of hours even when she doesn't need me anymore.

 

[lopan122]

p.s. the bipolar thing was suggested by several friends/neighbors/ her parents.

 

[stealth2]

Let's start with the age of your daughter.

 

[Zigner]

p.s. the bipolar thing was suggested by several friends/neighbors/ her parents.

I would suggest that they don't know what bipolar disorder really is.

 

[stealth2]

Okay - looking through your history, kiddo is 9ish.

A few thoughts on how you can help your daughter even w/o counseling. At 9, she is old enough to brush her own hair. You can work on that with her. You can also help her learn a few easy things to do to keep it from getting horribly tangled. No- I don't care that you're a man and "don't know how to do hair!" - many have come before you and learned. YouTube is a wonderful resource.

As for p/u drama..... Why can't you two two do your big huggy thing before you're in front of Mom? Your kid's not two - she can say her "big" goodbye before leaving the house. That's what we did. Then when we were where the other parent was, it was a simple "Love you! Have fun and we'll talk soon! See ya in two (or whatever) weeks!" Why do YOU add to the drama?