What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Preamble:
I'll try to make this short and only include pertinent information, but I could write a novel to discuss what has lead to the current circumstances. First, let me say I am the step-father of this child. I have two step-daughters with two dads. The oldest is 12 yrs and her father is very easy to get along with and the parenting plan is effective with no issues. The youngest is 4 yrs old and the relationship with the father and paternal grandmother is not perfect. My wife and I also have a 1 yr old boy of our own with another boy due in May of this year.
Quick list of events:
1. My wife and the father of the child split up in 2007. Verbal agreements were made in regards to the custody, visitation, and support.
2. After struggles with the verbal agreement, my wife let's the father know that she will be filing for custody and child support.
3. Days later we have Missouri Department of Family Services come to our house to say that reports had been filed alleging the child was being sexually abused at our house. The allegations were filed by the paternal grandmother.
4. A couple days later my wife hires an attorney and files an order for paternity, custody and child support.
5. Missouri DFS investigates the case and deems that the allegations are without merit and were based around concerns of the outcome of a child custody case.
6. Three weeks later while the daughter is staying with the paternal grandmother during the father's time, we get a call from Kansas Social Services to say the child has been taken into SRS custody and gives temp custody to the paternal grandmother due to her making allegations of sexual abuse while the child was in Missouri at our house and that the father was neglecting the child in kansas. (The father and paternal grandmother live in Kansas) We're in the Kansas City Metro area.
7. Child remains with grandmother for 3 months while we go through initial hearings regarding the abuse case and the court decides to return the child to the parents homes, but keep the case open until certain conditions were met like participating in classes around "getting along with your ex" and attending mediation, and obtaining a custody order from platte county, Missouri where my wife had filed the paternity matter.
8. Paternal Grandmother makes 3 additional abuse allegations while the case is open and the KS SRS deems them all to be without merit. (allegations included that we had threatened to wash the childs mouth out with soap if she said a cuss word, and the paternal grandmother stated she was concerned that we were going to physically abuse her)
9. In the Missouri case my wife's attorney asks for a Guardian Ad Litem to be assigned. The GAL interview myself, my wife, the father, and the paternal grandmother and her attorney.
10. The GAL lets the court know that he recommends that the mother get residential parent, joint legal and physical custody between the parents, but also includes that the paternal grandmother get visitation during the father's time which included staying with grandmother every other friday from 8am to 5pm.
11. My wife and I are told that Kansas will not close the case until we get the parenting plan signed by a judge in Missouri, however my wife does not agree that the grandmother should be given specific time with the child in the agreement. Her lawyer recommends that we just agree to it and then ask for a modification later.
12. My wife agrees, she gets residential parent and they split the visitation between the parents with my wife getting one extra day every other week (this was already the verbally agreed schedule for the prior years).
13. Judge in Missouri signs order and Kansas asks all parties if they agree to close the case, however paternal grandmother refuses to sign. Then the GAL in the kansas case starts requesting mental health and medical information regarding issues with the grandmother and she then changes her mind and agrees. Kansas closes the case after 10 months of being involved.
Fast forward to today:
My wife and I were married in November of 2008 and moved into a house together with our children. Since then the father has moved to three different houses for short periods of time including moving back in with his mother for a month or so between each new house. My wife and I have lived together at our home for almost 2 and 1/y years now. The father has also moved in two different girlfriends at his houses, the first one ended when they had a domestic dispute and she basically assualted him while they were drunk. The second had two small boys which my step-daughter got to spend time with while she was with her dad. Then that relationship ended and she moved out with the boys. Now, the father calls us today to say that he is being evicted from his apartment and will be moving back in with his mother. He knows that my wife doesn't think that it is in the childs best interest to be around the grandmother especially while the father is living with her. This is because the grandmother and father do not get along and they typically get into an argument and put the child in the middle of it, in terms of the grandmother making threats to try to take the child if they can't agree on whatever they are fighting about, etc... The father also stated that he would be willing to "find another place to stay" instead of going to his mothers if my wife allows him to claim the daughter on his taxes this year since he is broke. Additionaly, the father has for the last 5 months, asked my wife to keep the daughter one additional day every week. This means the father gets only 2 and 1/2 days one week and 3 1/2 days the second week. However he has also has been asking my wife to keep the daughter more lately and has gone the last 30 days with only having his daughter for 2 days, and those were days that she was required to see her grandmother, so he actually didn't have her in his custody.
OK, there's lot more I could say, but I feel like that's the minimum to start with and you can ask questions to fill in the blanks if I've left something out.
Our question is: What do we do next that would be best for this child and for our family?
We can A) just allow things to play out with no intervention or B) we can request a modification to the agreement to have the child here 5 weekdays and the father have her every other weekend. C) we could file a contempt motions due to instances where we've documented the child saying things relating to the custody case and the relationship issues between the father, my wife, and the paternal grandmother which is not allowed per the parenting plan.
Our main concern is that the paternal grandmother will do anything and I mean anything to prevent losing any time with the child or giving my wife more time. Since she is listed in the visitation section of the parenting plan, I assume she'd be notified if we requested to change it. At which point my wife is concerned that grandmother will begin making new allegations to complicate the process. My wife thinks that the daughter having a relationship with the paternal grandmother is important, but the grandmother is definately not working in the best interests of the father, my wife, or the child, but instead she is thinking of her best interests which she has stated multiple times that she just wants custody of the child. My wife believes that the grandmother is mainly concerned that the father will lose visitation because he cannot establish a stable residence and has mutple DUI convictions and known alcohol abuse issues.
What are the potential outcomes of this scenario?
Preamble:
I'll try to make this short and only include pertinent information, but I could write a novel to discuss what has lead to the current circumstances. First, let me say I am the step-father of this child. I have two step-daughters with two dads. The oldest is 12 yrs and her father is very easy to get along with and the parenting plan is effective with no issues. The youngest is 4 yrs old and the relationship with the father and paternal grandmother is not perfect. My wife and I also have a 1 yr old boy of our own with another boy due in May of this year.
Quick list of events:
1. My wife and the father of the child split up in 2007. Verbal agreements were made in regards to the custody, visitation, and support.
2. After struggles with the verbal agreement, my wife let's the father know that she will be filing for custody and child support.
3. Days later we have Missouri Department of Family Services come to our house to say that reports had been filed alleging the child was being sexually abused at our house. The allegations were filed by the paternal grandmother.
4. A couple days later my wife hires an attorney and files an order for paternity, custody and child support.
5. Missouri DFS investigates the case and deems that the allegations are without merit and were based around concerns of the outcome of a child custody case.
6. Three weeks later while the daughter is staying with the paternal grandmother during the father's time, we get a call from Kansas Social Services to say the child has been taken into SRS custody and gives temp custody to the paternal grandmother due to her making allegations of sexual abuse while the child was in Missouri at our house and that the father was neglecting the child in kansas. (The father and paternal grandmother live in Kansas) We're in the Kansas City Metro area.
7. Child remains with grandmother for 3 months while we go through initial hearings regarding the abuse case and the court decides to return the child to the parents homes, but keep the case open until certain conditions were met like participating in classes around "getting along with your ex" and attending mediation, and obtaining a custody order from platte county, Missouri where my wife had filed the paternity matter.
8. Paternal Grandmother makes 3 additional abuse allegations while the case is open and the KS SRS deems them all to be without merit. (allegations included that we had threatened to wash the childs mouth out with soap if she said a cuss word, and the paternal grandmother stated she was concerned that we were going to physically abuse her)
9. In the Missouri case my wife's attorney asks for a Guardian Ad Litem to be assigned. The GAL interview myself, my wife, the father, and the paternal grandmother and her attorney.
10. The GAL lets the court know that he recommends that the mother get residential parent, joint legal and physical custody between the parents, but also includes that the paternal grandmother get visitation during the father's time which included staying with grandmother every other friday from 8am to 5pm.
11. My wife and I are told that Kansas will not close the case until we get the parenting plan signed by a judge in Missouri, however my wife does not agree that the grandmother should be given specific time with the child in the agreement. Her lawyer recommends that we just agree to it and then ask for a modification later.
12. My wife agrees, she gets residential parent and they split the visitation between the parents with my wife getting one extra day every other week (this was already the verbally agreed schedule for the prior years).
13. Judge in Missouri signs order and Kansas asks all parties if they agree to close the case, however paternal grandmother refuses to sign. Then the GAL in the kansas case starts requesting mental health and medical information regarding issues with the grandmother and she then changes her mind and agrees. Kansas closes the case after 10 months of being involved.
Fast forward to today:
My wife and I were married in November of 2008 and moved into a house together with our children. Since then the father has moved to three different houses for short periods of time including moving back in with his mother for a month or so between each new house. My wife and I have lived together at our home for almost 2 and 1/y years now. The father has also moved in two different girlfriends at his houses, the first one ended when they had a domestic dispute and she basically assualted him while they were drunk. The second had two small boys which my step-daughter got to spend time with while she was with her dad. Then that relationship ended and she moved out with the boys. Now, the father calls us today to say that he is being evicted from his apartment and will be moving back in with his mother. He knows that my wife doesn't think that it is in the childs best interest to be around the grandmother especially while the father is living with her. This is because the grandmother and father do not get along and they typically get into an argument and put the child in the middle of it, in terms of the grandmother making threats to try to take the child if they can't agree on whatever they are fighting about, etc... The father also stated that he would be willing to "find another place to stay" instead of going to his mothers if my wife allows him to claim the daughter on his taxes this year since he is broke. Additionaly, the father has for the last 5 months, asked my wife to keep the daughter one additional day every week. This means the father gets only 2 and 1/2 days one week and 3 1/2 days the second week. However he has also has been asking my wife to keep the daughter more lately and has gone the last 30 days with only having his daughter for 2 days, and those were days that she was required to see her grandmother, so he actually didn't have her in his custody.
OK, there's lot more I could say, but I feel like that's the minimum to start with and you can ask questions to fill in the blanks if I've left something out.
Our question is: What do we do next that would be best for this child and for our family?
We can A) just allow things to play out with no intervention or B) we can request a modification to the agreement to have the child here 5 weekdays and the father have her every other weekend. C) we could file a contempt motions due to instances where we've documented the child saying things relating to the custody case and the relationship issues between the father, my wife, and the paternal grandmother which is not allowed per the parenting plan.
Our main concern is that the paternal grandmother will do anything and I mean anything to prevent losing any time with the child or giving my wife more time. Since she is listed in the visitation section of the parenting plan, I assume she'd be notified if we requested to change it. At which point my wife is concerned that grandmother will begin making new allegations to complicate the process. My wife thinks that the daughter having a relationship with the paternal grandmother is important, but the grandmother is definately not working in the best interests of the father, my wife, or the child, but instead she is thinking of her best interests which she has stated multiple times that she just wants custody of the child. My wife believes that the grandmother is mainly concerned that the father will lose visitation because he cannot establish a stable residence and has mutple DUI convictions and known alcohol abuse issues.
What are the potential outcomes of this scenario?
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