Most likely a stupid question

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? MO

So, my parenting plan gives me the first half of spring break, and the ex the second half of spring break. My ex has every Easter from the time school lets out until Sunday at 6pm.

This is the deal. Our school doesn't have a week long spring break like I think most do. Ours is actually the Friday before Easter and the Monday after Easter.

So, if I assume that Friday/Sat is the first half and Sunday/Monday is the second half, that's pretty easy. But if Ex has Easter from the time school lets out til Sunday @6... and it falls during the same time period...

I know that holidays supercede regular visitation, but this is a weird one.

I've always just given way to Easter so that he could take the kids to see his parents in MN. Actually, he's always had them from Friday after school until Monday so that he had plenty of travel time. This year though, they're not going anywhere, so there's no travel time.

No, this isn't a hill I'm willing to die on, it's not really going to bother me all that much to have Easter weekend stay the same as it always has, I'm just curious how legally this is supposed to work because it's possible that the new plan will have us alternating holidays, and I KNOW he'll expect his half of Spring Break even if it's my year for Easter.

And, actually, this is the same issue with Christmas. I have the first half of Christmas break, he has the last half. I have every Christmas, he has every New Years. I have the kids on their birthdays (the oldest's Bday is Xmas eve) from 9am - 9pm.

So, if we switch to an alternating schedule... every other year he'll have the kids on Xmas, but I'll have one of them on Christmas Eve. PITA and eliminates any ability for both of us to travel anywhere for the holiday.

Help?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MO

So, my parenting plan gives me the first half of spring break, and the ex the second half of spring break. My ex has every Easter from the time school lets out until Sunday at 6pm.

This is the deal. Our school doesn't have a week long spring break like I think most do. Ours is actually the Friday before Easter and the Monday after Easter.

So, if I assume that Friday/Sat is the first half and Sunday/Monday is the second half, that's pretty easy. But if Ex has Easter from the time school lets out til Sunday @6... and it falls during the same time period...

I know that holidays supercede regular visitation, but this is a weird one.

I've always just given way to Easter so that he could take the kids to see his parents in MN. Actually, he's always had them from Friday after school until Monday so that he had plenty of travel time. This year though, they're not going anywhere, so there's no travel time.

No, this isn't a hill I'm willing to die on, it's not really going to bother me all that much to have Easter weekend stay the same as it always has, I'm just curious how legally this is supposed to work because it's possible that the new plan will have us alternating holidays, and I KNOW he'll expect his half of Spring Break even if it's my year for Easter.

And, actually, this is the same issue with Christmas. I have the first half of Christmas break, he has the last half. I have every Christmas, he has every New Years. I have the kids on their birthdays (the oldest's Bday is Xmas eve) from 9am - 9pm.

So, if we switch to an alternating schedule... every other year he'll have the kids on Xmas, but I'll have one of them on Christmas Eve. PITA and eliminates any ability for both of us to travel anywhere for the holiday.

Help?

You could always agree to keep the holiday schedule the same. Your school system doesn't have a week long spring break? That is quite odd.....

 

[CJane]

You could always agree to keep the holiday schedule the same. Your school system doesn't have a week long spring break? That is quite odd.....

I'd love to keep the holiday schedule the same. We alternate everything except Christmas (mine), New Years (his), Easter (his) and Halloween (mine). We agreed to this originally because we'd always spend Easter with his family in MN and Christmas with mine in KS throughout our marriage, so it made sense to both of us to continue to do so post-divorce.

But wifey is pushing for an alternating schedule because I 'stole Christmas from her'. So naturally, ex is pushing for an alternating schedule.

But no, we don't have a week long SB. We do, however, get out of school on May 20.

 

[LdiJ]

I'd love to keep the holiday schedule the same. We alternate everything except Christmas (mine), New Years (his), Easter (his) and Halloween (mine). We agreed to this originally because we'd always spend Easter with his family in MN and Christmas with mine in KS throughout our marriage, so it made sense to both of us to continue to do so post-divorce.

But wifey is pushing for an alternating schedule because I 'stole Christmas from her'. So naturally, ex is pushing for an alternating schedule.

But no, we don't have a week long SB. We do, however, get out of school on May 20.

Sigh**************...well...just make it clear to dad that accomodating his wife for Christmas means that he won't get to make that trip to MN every Easter. Let him understand what he is giving up in order to appease his wife.

 

[Ithildriel]

But wifey is pushing for an alternating schedule because I 'stole Christmas from her'. So naturally, ex is pushing for an alternating schedule.

Do you think if we shaved her head we would find

666

 

[CJane]

Sigh**************...well...just make it clear to dad that accomodating his wife for Christmas means that he won't get to make that trip to MN every Easter. Let him understand what he is giving up in order to appease his wife.

So let's assume that the alternating schedule goes through.

If holidays supercede regular visitation, what happens when 'holidays' land squarely on top of each other like Easter and Spring Break, Christmas and Oldest Child's BDay, etc? Should I leave the Spring Break language the same in case at some point in the future they get a real Spring Break and just assume Easter takes precedence like I've been doing? Would it be more 'normal' for birthdays to alternate too?

Wifey wants every other Mother's Day too, but I know that one's not happening.

 

[CJane]

Do you think if we shaved her head we would find

666

LOL No, but it WOULD be cool if it was like that Shel Silverstein poem where the kid shaves his head and discovers that he doesn't really have wavy hair, he has a wavy head.

I shaved my head once. NOT a good look for me, but no satanic symbols either.

 

[LdiJ]

So let's assume that the alternating schedule goes through.

If holidays supercede regular visitation, what happens when 'holidays' land squarely on top of each other like Easter and Spring Break, Christmas and Oldest Child's BDay, etc? Should I leave the Spring Break language the same in case at some point in the future they get a real Spring Break and just assume Easter takes precedence like I've been doing? Would it be more 'normal' for birthdays to alternate too?

Wifey wants every other Mother's Day too, but I know that one's not happening.

You don't have a Spring Break at this point....and that is how you handle that. Sure, you can leave the language in there in case you ever do. In fact, you can ask the judge to even acknowledge in the orders that no Spring Break exists at this point, but that the language is included in case things change.

I would try to keep out the language regarding birthdays....at least for the oldest. Something can be written in to acknowledge that the oldest's birthday falls during the Christmas holidays, and that each parent will celebrate it during their share of Christmas Break.

 

[Ohiogal]

You could always agree to keep the holiday schedule the same. Your school system doesn't have a week long spring break? That is quite odd.....

Lots of places don't. My daughter gets Friday and Monday -- I get Spring break and my ex gets Easter -- we compromised and I will take her to my parents farm for a "spring camp" on Thursday night and he will pick her up on Sunday afternoon.

 

[Ithildriel]

Wifey wants every other Mother's Day too, but I know that one's not happening.

OMFG

Does she want them to crawl up into her womb so that she can birth them and have the complete experience there as well. Good flocking Grief!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

So let's assume that the alternating schedule goes through.

If holidays supercede regular visitation, what happens when 'holidays' land squarely on top of each other like Easter and Spring Break, Christmas and Oldest Child's BDay, etc? Should I leave the Spring Break language the same in case at some point in the future they get a real Spring Break and just assume Easter takes precedence like I've been doing? Would it be more 'normal' for birthdays to alternate too?

Wifey wants every other Mother's Day too, but I know that one's not happening.

truthfully it would be more normal to alternate birthdays (every other year you each get all the kids birthdays with all the kids present). That is standard in parenting plans in Ohio at least. And no I haven't checked EVERY state to determine if it is the same in every state but....

 

[Ohiogal]

Wifey wants every other Mother's Day too, but I know that one's not happening.

Umm Mother gets Mother's day. She is NOT the mother. Tell her to have her own.

 

[CJane]

You don't have a Spring Break at this point....and that is how you handle that. Sure, you can leave the language in there in case you ever do. In fact, you can ask the judge to even acknowledge in the orders that no Spring Break exists at this point, but that the language is included in case things change.

I would try to keep out the language regarding birthdays....at least for the oldest. Something can be written in to acknowledge that the oldest's birthday falls during the Christmas holidays, and that each parent will celebrate it during their share of Christmas Break.

That's essentially what we do. I try not to be all hung up on specific dates for things...

We have Christmas at my dad's house sometime around Thanksgiving. Christmas at my house on Xmas eve morning, Christmas at my mom's house on Christmas day, Christmas with my steps at mom's house a day or 2 after Christmas. The kids did Christmas w/ex's parents on the Wed before Thanksgiving.

We do a bday party for the oldest in the summer, she has a Bday party w/my dad and the grandkids on his side of the family around THanksgiving, birthday at mom's house w/those cousins on Christmas.

The youngest turned 6 on the 10th of March and has had 5 BDay parties w/family so far.

We're doing 'Easter' at mom's house this weekend so that they can do Easter w/their dad and his wife next weekend and not miss anything.

It's getting exhausting! lol

 

[CJane]

truthfully it would be more normal to alternate birthdays (every other year you each get all the kids birthdays with all the kids present). That is standard in parenting plans in Ohio at least. And no I haven't checked EVERY state to determine if it is the same in every state but....

I actually wouldn't mind at all if birthdays were left out of the equation altogether due to the crazy schedule we already have with all the family spread far and wide. It's no skin off my nose if they're not with me on THAT DAY.

And she did just have her own. I'm wondering how that will affect her overinvolvement. Maybe she'll back the hell off now.

 

[Rushia]

Wow, no Spring Break? I have them home for two whole weeks!! I have vacation for the next week and 1/2. Hooray!!!!