Mother seeking Child Custody. What are my options?

[stealth2]

I think that most of us just don't know how it could be changed to make it better. Every time I think of something that I think could make it better, it makes it worse in other ways.

For example, I honestly believe that children need the security of having one place that is "home". However, I also believe that children need face time with both parents as often as possible, even daily if possible. However there are few divorced or separated parents who could make that work. I really think that the whole concept of sleeping equal nights at both homes is horrible for children. I cannot imagine any adult who would be willing to live that kind of lifestyle, so why do we think its right to make children live that way? Yet, at the same time in many scenarios the non-custodial parent would end up marginalized without that.

Parenting credits in child support calculations are extremely fair, yet at the same time it causes many, many more fights about timeshare as many people tend to attempt to minimize or maximize child support. How do we fix that?

Does mediation bring less conflict or more conflict? Do Gals, evaluators and Casas bring less conflict or more conflict as parents attempt to portray the other parent in a bad light?

I just flat out don't know how to make it better and what could be changed to make it better...other than parents leaving their egos at the door.

I think I've mentioned this before... When my ex and I split, and he suggested week on/week off, I suggested that WE do the week on/off thing, so that the kids could stay on their home f/t. His response? "Oh no - that would be too disruptive to my life." (This was before he told me I could "have" the kis, if I moved out of state...). If it is too disriuptive for the parent/s? Why is it not for the kid/s?

 

[MomGT123]

My ex and I carry out 50/50 (alternating weeks). At the kids' age right now (elementary), they love it. We live 5 mi. apart in the same school district and the school is very accomodating in allowing them to ride whichever bus will take them to the house they are staying at that week. They have everything they need at both houses so they don't have to carry belongings from house to house. However, their dad, step-mom and I get along very well and have no issues communicating as often as necessary so that we all know what's going on when it comes to their schooling, activities, issues/discipline, etc. They have friends in both neighborhoods and have never been told that they aren't allowed to go do something simply because one of us doesn't feel like taking them on our time. I have thought about how that might change as they get older though. I haven't discussed it with their dad, but as they get older I know they might feel differently and feel like they should be able to voice their preference if they start to dislike the arrangement and want to have one house be more permanent. We're both good parents and the kids would thrive with either one of us. I would hate for them to be unhappy due to the weekly switching and completely understand if that starts to be frustrating for them when they enter their teen years. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it though and as long as the kids are happy and doing well - then I'm happy.

On another note: Can someone send me the link to this other board? Sounds like it would be a good read. I'm always looking for good parenting themed boards (mainly dealing with co-parenting in split situations) to read and there seem to be few that can hold my interest.